#writer's reference

This is a new set of posts focusing on the period of time stretching from the late 19th century to the early 20th Century right up to the start of WWI. I'll be going through different aspects of life. This series can be linked to my Great House series as well as my Season post and Debutant post.

I get asked a lot about courting, what's acceptable or what's off limits and how one may woo a prospective spouse. So let's explore how to win the hand and heart.

Meeting (not so cute?)

Firstly, it is really difficult to have a meet cute in the Edwardian era. Women and men are kept separate for most of the day, only really getting to meet at designated events: A dinner, a ball, a social event. Meeting in the park is a cute idea but a gentleman can't just approach a lady (or another gentleman) without being introduced by a third party, either a senior party or a mutual friend. However, an introduction at a ball is sort of like Cinderella's get up, it ceases to matter when the ball is over. Your gentleman must not approach a lady after that ball, he must be reintroduced. Once an introduction has been made, he can speak with her.

An Interest

When an introduction has gone satisfactory, a gentleman must make the first move by calling to her parents'/guardian's home and making a formal request to begin courting. Her parents/guardians must consent, usually leading to a short brief interview of the gentleman's family, his connections, his wealth (though in not so vulgar terms, they may inquire where he lives which is an indicator). The woman's opinion did matter, she could give her reasons for accepting or turning down the offer. When the interest is approved, the gentleman can start offering invitations.

Three's Company

Of course, just because the parents agree, doesn't mean the couple gets to be alone. The young lady will be accompanied by a chaperone either a lady's maid, a governess, her mother or another female relative. While the couple is together, the chaperone will always be a few steps behind or have them in sight. She's there to ensure that nothing more than a conversation happens. This is not only for her young lady's reputation but also to save the man from any claims of impropriety. The chaperone also serves as a sort of spy, gauging whether this relationship is worth pursuing.

Activities & Tokens

A gentleman may invite a lady out to lots of different activities. He can invite her for a promenade at a local park or gardens, out the theatre, visit her at home, invite her to galleries, to balls or to be his companion at sporting events such as the races, tennis matches or boat races. When visiting in the house, the gentleman would be expected to speak with all the family, be polite and courteous. This is how the family guages his suitably. The gentleman must provide transportation and funds for any excursion. Gifts are to be refined as well. Expensive gifts are considered vulgar and will likely be turned down. Small gifts such as flowers, books, cakes are acceptable. Gifts aren't as important as the time spent together.

Rules of Engagement

There are certain unspoken rules surrounding courtship that every gentlemen must follow for a successful courtship:

A gentleman should always pay attention to his lady, and not exclude her or cast her off for others

A gentleman never smokes in front of his lady nor forget to remove his hat.

A gentleman must always offer to refresh his lady on an excursion

A gentleman must defend his lady from any offense be it an insult or a scene unfit for her eyes or within an argument. Throwing in an apology for any offense can add a cherry on top.

However if she's the one giving offense, without any reason, the gentleman must seek to create peace, apologising on her behalf.

When walking, a lady will be placed in the inside of the pavement.

A gentleman should never spend above his means to impress his lady. Staying within his means is not only smart but a show of restraint and a glimpse of what life ought to be if they marry.

A gentleman should always offer his assistance when a lady is exiting a carriage or going up a flight of steps or carrying anything heavy.

If a man accompanies a woman to a ball, he's expected to dance with her on her first and last dances of the evening.

A gentleman must always make his intentions known and not string a lady along with no intention of marriage. He must never joke about his intentions or lead her on.

Marriage

Courtship usually promises marriage which is why a gentleman or lady should not enter into courtship unless they would consider marriage. Courtship may last a few months or a few weeks and while it is going on, both sides should consider whether marriage would be a viable option of either of them. Parents/guardians would be consulted, the gentleman must make his intentions known to her father or nearest male relative before approaching the lady and popping the question. A courtship that doesn't end in marriage is seen as a failure and may damage the reputation of both parties, leading people to wonder what happened and who is to blame. For example is a perfectly eligible gentleman will not marry a perfectly eligible lady or she turns down his offer, people will usually leap to the conclusion that there is something lacking.

LGBTQIA+ Courting

Snow muffles sound, if the road hasn't been plowed and a car drives down it you don't hear the car as soon. It's less so after the roads have been plowed and sidewalks shoveled.

- Walking in the snow makes some noise tho, you just have to close enough to hear it. (I have gotten jumpscared by people walking their pets while out on snowy days cause of this)

- A lot of people have snowblowers to make shoveling easier. Snowblowers are usually gas powered and super loud.

- Snow makes it way lighter out at night, since it reflects the light.

- Big puffer jackets are super warm and cozy. they are also bulky and annoying when you are inside a heated building that you can't wear them in if you don't have someplace to put them.

- Those jackets also tend to be made of a slippery fabric that make it annoying to carry a backpack over one shoulder.

- Snowboots can also be big and bulky and annoying, but super warm. Good ones will keep you from slipping on ice pretty well too

- However if the boot treads get full of snow the snow will slip on the ice and you slip too.

- You can get cleats to attach to your shoes/boots to keep from slipping.

- There are these things called draft-dodgers you can get that are a long tube of fabric filled with sand that you use to block the crack at the bottom of a door to keep drafts from coming in under the door. If you open the door while one is in front you need to be inside the house to put it back.

- When it gets super cold out (negative teens farenheit and colder) we usually put packing tape on the cracks of the doors to seal them so no drafts can come in. It's super loud when you take it off or open the door.

- even if it's warm enough to survive running from the store to the car/house to car w/o a coat you want to have a coat in the car anyways in case you get stuck or something.

- I do however like wearing gloves even when I don't wear a coat cause my hands get cold really fast.

- Some gloves are also super bulky and annoying to wear, but they are the warmest.

- You also probably want a shovel in your car in case you get snowed in/stuck.

- You need to clean snow off of your car if it's not in a garage/carport and it's super annoying. You usually use a snowbrush or broom you keep in your car with the shovel.

from Blade Runner to The Matrix by Chi Hyun Park.

Found a great (albeit dated) resource on what NOT to do when writing cyberpunk, especially if it features East Asian characters or inspired aesthetics.

Marriage is an important part of the life of both royal and nobles in any setting, either historical fiction or fantasy. Marriages are not only life long commitments but they are business and protection deals by families. These are strategies, not relationships. So how can we write them?

Why make a Marriage?

Marriage is at its heart, the seal on an agreement. Two families may come to an agreement to share resources, connections and support one another. For a noble family, it could be about elevation. For example, if the daughter of an Earl marries a Duke, her siblings can now make higher marriages and her family would be more important thanks to this link. It could even be about money. In the late Victorian - Early Edwardian period, many impoverished English peers married wealthy American women for their fortunes. In exchange, the women became titled aristocrats. Royal marriages are made for more universal perks. A royal marriage can change the political layout of the world, it could isolate a kingdom or be the starting gun or a war or end a years long conflict. For example, Kingdom A might be being threatened by Kingdom B. Kingdom C has a powerful military. Kingdom A might offer up a marriage deal to Kingdom C, with the caveat that C protect A from B. C would obligated to act if A gets attacked by B, since A is now an ally. A marriage cements the deal as it creates family ties, which is seen as a sort of permanent stamp on negotiations. After all, would you screw over family?

Marriages of Choice vs Arranged Marriages

Marriages can either be made on behalf of a royal/noble or made by themselves. An heir might be more restricted in this case whilst a younger children have a little more leeway especially if they are part of a large family.

Marriages are not always arranged. But that doesn't mean there aren't restrictions. Any royal or noble will have a list of certain attributes their spouse must have or certain attributes they cannot have. Marriages of choice have to be approved by parents (and the crown if you are a high ranking noble) and if you are royal, sometimes by the government itself.

Arranged marriages are agreements between two families. They might want each other's protection, support or they might simply want to do business together such as opening trade corridors or lifting embargoes on certain items. Arranged marriages are usually made on behalf of both spouses and they are expected to agree to the match for the sake of their family or country.

Screwing over the Deal

Making a marriage doesn't mean that the deal will last forever. Alliances change and circumstances shift. Whilst everyone may be all friendly during negotiations and for some time after, politics is the aim of the game. Treaties can be broken, war can break out and marriages can become unpopular choices. If a country has welcomed a bride/groom one day and then their country becomes the enemy, the bride/groom could become an enemy as well and face isolation and disrespect from the public - even their new family. However they are expected to be loyal to their new family and country, even over their own family and kingdom. These marriages have no promise of happiness. They are a job, a duty to ensure the family is taken care of and securing their futures.

Timeline of a Royal Marriage between Two Royal Families

Offer: The suggestion is made.

Negotiations: The discussion through ambassadors of what a marriage might entails, what each side is willing to provide or what they demand of the marriage. This can take weeks, months even years before a marriage is agreed.

Betrothal: Marriage is approved, treaty signed and the couple is engaged. Betrothals can last from anything from a few weeks to years

Wedding: If one spouse has to travel to their new home, they will travel to their new home and meet their new court, new family and their spouse. Once they arrive, the wedding will take place in a matter of days.

Married Life

These marriages are public, so it is expected for the couple to at least act civil. If they do not like one another or can't stand the sight of another or they just don't love each other, is irrelevant to society and their expectations. They are expected to attend certain events together, sire children and do their duty. There's no rules saying they must live together, so many lived separate lives. The higher ranking spouse is expected to provide their spouse with an allowance and a staff. For international marriages, spouses are not permitted to hire a large party of their own attendants even if they accompany them to their new country. They may keep one or two for company but a newly minted royal should not be waited on by foreign servants, they are a royal of their new kingdom now.

What makes a "good" marriage?

I'm always asked what sort of education different people recieve throughout different historical eras and since I'm heading back to college soon, I thought it was high time I made this guide.

Disparity

Education is viewed as a right by many but for some and thoughout history it was a privilege. For the wealthy and those of high status, education can be easily accessed. They can afford to tailor an education to fit their needs, they can hire tutors, and they can afford tuitions to top schools. For the poor, education was a luxury. However this doesn't mean that it was available. Some communities would fund a school or send their children to a local teacher - usually they had to pay a daily fee or at least bring kindling for the heating. Many poorer children also worked so they could not attend school consistently or were pulled out very early into their education. However, some poorer students could gain access to high level education if they were extremely bright or caught the attention of a wealthy benefactor who could fund their education.

Education as a Weapon

Education could also be banned for certain groups in society. It could be illegal to fund schools or host gatherings for students of a certain background, race, religion or gender. Education against the law could be punished by imprisonment, exile or execution. This is a measure usually taken by oppressive governments in order to follow a moral code or restrict the betterment of a certain group. An example would be the Irish Catholics under the Penal Laws.

On the otherhand, there is education that is influenced by the state to inject certain values, moralities and Opinions into a population. This is the intense restriction of reading material, removal of books that contest the teachings of the government or the kidnap of children from their culture, in order to forcibly educated them in alignment to their beliefs. An example would be the residental schools of North America and Canada and the AHS schools of Nazi Germany.

Content

As above, content of what children learn usually falls into a certain category. This is also true for the education offered to the wealthy and the poor. The poor would be offered a basic education, learning literacy and arithmetic, usually with an expectation that the children would not go on to any jobs that needs a broader education. Any higher education would be hard to obtain because of cost and the discriminatory view of the enrollment panels. The wealthy would have access to an array of different subjects including: The arts (drawing, music, painting, poetry, dancing), sports (riding, martial skills, rowing, hunting), arithmetic, geography, languages, geography and history. While progression to higher education will still be difficult, any affluent families are legacies of prestigious colleges or can make a donation to grease a few palms. These schools would be where the wealthy make lifelong connections and get springboarded toward opportunities.

Private Tutoring

Whilst some affluent, aristocratic and Royal families send their children to schools, private tutoring in the home was a popular choice. Children would be educated at home but tutors who either lived in the home or come to the house. The children would be educated alongside siblings or the children of courtiers or neighbours. Private tutoring sessions would often be the only education for upper class women recieved, taught by governesses and tutors.

Premises and Equipment

As mentioned above, wealthy and aristocratic families would usually attend established schools or attend school at home. They would be provided any equipment they needed. If they attend school, they would often wear a uniform. Some schools had multiple variations of the uniform for different activities. Many of the schools attended would be boarding schools. Boarding schools offered education to those who boarded and day students, however day students were often looked down upon as lesser than.

Poorer schools would be relient on donations and fees paid by students. As mentioned above, there may be a building reserved for classes - sometimes an designated schoolhouse or a teacher's home or a public building such as a gathering house or sometimes even outside - hedge schools. Equipment would be provided by the school. Uniforms at poorer schools were not a thing but students were expected to show up neat and tidy.

Corporal Punishment

A Regency is a period of time where another party rules of behalf of a monarch who is either too young, too ill or absent. A Regency can either be the monarch's own choice or a decision made for them on their behalf by a third part, usually government. Either way, a Regent is selected to act as temporary Head of State whilst the monarch is incapable of ruling.

Who can be a Regent?

A Regent is an important office, even though its a temporary one. Regencies of child monarchs generally either go to the Consort, though there are all sorts of reasons why this can be blocked. Sometimes governments and kingdoms are uncomfortable with foreign consorts with uncertain allegiances ruling the kingdom or sometimes the government just doesn't approve on the basis that they doubt the Consort's skill set. Other candidates for Regencies are nearly always family members such as uncles, aunts, cousins and even children of the monarch (especially if they are absent from the country or ill). But a Regent doesn't have to be a royal. They could just be a noble elected to the position (Sir William Marshall) or even one that siezes power for themselves (Richard of York) or even a council made up of Regents, headed by a Lord Protector.

Who makes a Regent?

As I mentioned before, monarchs can appoint the Regent that will replace them in certain cases. For instance, a monarch would chose the Regent if they were voluntarily leaving the country or they might designate a chosen Regent on their deathbed or just in case of emergency. But they wouldn't chose a Regent if they were ruled mentally incompetent. In those cases, the government would chose.

The Powers and Responsibilities of a Regent

A Regent is the acting head of state but they are not the monarch. They do not have the right to wear crowns or have a coronation and are not granted the hall pass of divine right. A Regent is referred to as their own title, say for example Duke of X, Regent of Y or Prince Regent. They are merely there to fill in for the monarch. A Regent would meet with the government, make decisions with the approval by government and sign offical documents. In cases of an absent monarch, a Regent may need the approval of the monarch themselves. Regents of child monarchs would usually include their charges in the country's running, either as spectator or student. A Regent, being temporary Head of State, would also have the responsibility of ensuring a natural cessation of their power to their monarch when their term is over. Some regents are better than others at handing over power.

Notable Regents of History

The Season is the period within the year where the social elite, the wealthy and the noblity usually return to the the city for a long string of events, balls and dinners. It was a time for luxury, for pleasure and most importantly to socially socially by networking.

A Change in Locale

The Season drew all the nobles and wealthy back from their country estates and abroad back to the capital. At the height of the Season in the years preceding WWI, most of the elite held homes within the City where they would move into while the Season was on. There would have been a mad rush to return to the capital in order to be at the very centre of things. Since the English Season always coincides with sittings of Parliament, all members of both Houses take part in the Season.

Social Events of the Year

The Season was a string of events of mixed variety ranging from the arts to sports to royal rituals between April and August. In the UK some the most recognizable events of the year belong to the Season such as the Grand National and Wimbledon. The Season was also the time for debutants to make their social debut and when royal orders such as the Order of the Garter would be bestowed. Between all the official events, most of the nobility and elite would throw dinner parties, tea afternoons, salons and balls.

To give you an idea of the range of events we will use the English Season as an example of all the events that run in this time: Glyndebourne Opera, The Proms, Royal Academy Summer Exhibition, West End theatre Horticulture, Chelsea Flower Show, Royal Ascot, Cheltenham Gold Cup, Badminton Horse Trials, Grand National, Royal Windsor Horse Show, Epsom Derby, Glorious Goodwood, Cartier Queen's Cup, Trooping the Colour, Garter Service of the Order of the Garter, Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo, Boat Race, Henley Royal Regatta, Guards Polo Club, The Championships, Wimbledon, Cowes Week, Lord's Test cricket match. Since the Season also coincided with the marriage market, there would be a lot of engagements announced and weddings held.

At the end of the Season, usually around the 12th of August the elite would leave the city and return to the country for the hunting and shooting season.

What to Wear to the Season

Like most tradition heavy events, the Season was all about dressing appropriately. Wear the wrong thing and everyone you want to impress will see it. At polo matches, the gentlemen wear a blazers and strictly white trousers. Ladies are encouraged to wear flat shoes at these events. At the Royal Regatta, gentlemen wear lounge jackets and ties, and are permitted to wear their club colours as a show of support. It is usually traditional to wear boater hats. The ladies must wear dresses or skirts, with the hem below the knee. Women do not need to wear hats to these events. At events as such as Royal Ascot, everyone wears hats. The men wear either morning dress with waistcoat and a top hat, usually in grey or black. The only time a man removes his top hat is when he's dining, sitting in a box, on the balcony or within the Royal Enclosure. Ladies also must wear hats and are absolutely not permitted to show off shoulders. At the Presentation of the debutants, the traditional choice for the debutantes is a white court dress (though soft pinks and shades of white are permitted). The dress was short sleeved and had to have a train. The debutante wore long white gloves, a veil in her hair with three white ostrich feathers and jewels. Before the debutant has been introduced, she would hold her train over her arm and then let it fall when she has been presented.

How to Have a Successful Season