#write about it

But this analysis isn’t just about King Candy/Turbo, it’s also about Vanellope Von Schweetz. She’s the most important ingredient to making this scene work and play out the way it does and ultimately why it’s so fucking cathartic. ( More so than Ralph’s fight against Cy-Bug Turbo in my opinion) After watching how it was originally story boarded, the crew behind WiR perfected this scene with a specific detail that they changed. In the early storyboard, Vanellope causes King Candy’s vehicle to crash, causing him to glitch and transform into Turbo in front of the cameras. While I love love love the extended race between Vanellope and King Candy and sort of wished it could have been longer in the actual film, I am content that they didn’t go with the direction. In the movie, King Candy is revealed after trying to beat/kill Vanellope with his horn rod/pole thingy from his kart, she grabs it and glitches due to stress/adrenaline/her emotions, her blue glitch traveling through the cane and making contact with King Candy, finally putting down the facade he had on for 15 years and revealing him as Turbo to the characters in the film and the audience. It’s such a small detail, it only happens in a second, but it’s all it took for the start of his downfall and his eventual demise. 

And this is why it brings me catharsis every time I watch this scene. I could never put it into words before, but it’s beyond satisfying that the end of King Candy’s horrible reign starts with Vanellope and her glitch. The very same glitch that he caused trying to delete her code and remove her place from the game. The glitch that he used as an excuse to turn everyone in Sugar Rush against her. He usurped her throne and tried to ruin her life. Despite this, he still had the audacity to shout “Get off of MY track!” earlier. It brings his Roadblasters incident back up, it was his choice, trying to steal the thunder of another racing game that just got plugged in because he couldn’t stand the idea of anyone taking his place, only for Turbo Time and Roadblasters to be unplugged. All of this circling back and biting him in the ass. Vanellope was the key all along and he knew it, he feared her despite never really having a conversation with her as far as we know (Vanellope asking Turbo “What the-?! Who are you!?” leads me to believe that if they did converse in the past, it was not in his true form and he was most likely already King Candy. Plus it just goes to show how fast he hijacked Sugar Rush), but you can just tell by how desperate he was to keep her from racing, he didn’t want anyone to take his place ever again. 

So the scene continues and his famous line and breakdown goes as this: “I’m Turbo! The greatest racer ever! And I did not reprogram this world to let YOU and that halitosis riddled warthog TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!” It’s just so ironic, unfair and hypocritical of him it makes my blood boil! And the way he’s raising his voice, jabbing his finger at her and Vanellope’s trying to shrink away from him as he yells at her face before he tries to murder her I just- So cruel, scary, wicked and disturbing! But Vanellope, this brave WARRIOR, is reminded of her glitch after Turbo calls her for what he believes is the last time. “End of the line, Glitch!” She takes a moment, everything slows down around her as she tries to control her glitch to escape Turbo. She glitches away, missing the wall and It ends up saving her life! I just cannot stress enough how beautiful that is! She used her disability, that everyone thought would simply doom her and the game, and embraced it when she needed it most. Her glitch, while it was suddenly given to her by circumstances she couldn’t control or prevent, she took control back. It’s her beautiful superpower and it’s empowering. After this scene, it’s the “end” of Turbo before he gets nom’d by a Cy-Bug. ( I want to note that he later says “I’m the most powerful VIRUS in the arcade”, part of me wants to believe he said that because clearly Vanellope bested him as the greatest racer ever but I doubt that was their intention lol)

They’re the embodiment of Selfishness vs. Selflessness. While Vanellope had everything taken away from her, she didn’t follow the same path as him. Turbo had everything taken from him, but it was his fault and he only ever thought about himself, never about the destruction he left behind. Hell, all she ever wanted was to be one of the racers, no matter how much they bullied her and ostracized her, she never ended up being evil like him even though it would be a perfect recipe to become a villain, this is also what makes her a mirror to Ralph.  (Remember in that one deleted scene where she said she wanted to break the racers’ legs but come on can you blame her!?!?! She was so real for saying that.) VANELLOPE IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER AAAA. 

A baby my husband and I were really excited about even though we’ve been beyond diapers, bottles, sleepless nights, potty training, etc for years. Even though we’re older and should be thinking about middle school and high school futures for our kids, not starting all over again. Not having a 3rd in our 40s and 50s.

After a few years of trying to convince my husband to get a vasectomy, I may have read too much into the internet telling me our chances of conceiving in my early 40s were down to 5-10% per cycle… Ok we could roll those odds. Two months later we conceived. On vacation, a place we go every year to feel the most relaxed and content. I discovered the pregnancy on my son’s birthday, it would have been due on my husband’s birthday. We called it our “little souvenir”. All these things that made it really feel like it was meant to be.

The first trimester is always a little scary- is it going to work out, who can we tell, when can we tell… We had been to my first prenatal appointment, all of us giggling about doing all of this all over again “at our age”.

Blood brought clotting, tissue, cramping. Blood tests confirmed the loss. This is my 3rd miscarriage. My pregnancy pattern has been: miscarriage, healthy pregnancy, miscarriage, healthy pregnancy, miscarriage… now do we complete the pattern? All I know is that I can’t let myself obsess over it.

So I’m painting our bathroom about it. Something that has helped me process in the past. 2020 brought worldwide pandemic plus major surgery that left me bed ridden for 9 weeks, learning how to walk again, distance learning kindergarten and preschool. I painted our kitchen, bedroom, living room, and playroom that year.

I’ve weathered these storms before, falling back on what I know for sure. My wisdom at 42 is pretty simple. Life will constantly throw you curve balls. Knock you off course. Cultivate your people and let them help you, give yourself time, take a break, be kind to yourself. Talk about it if you can. Make something, fix something, write something, transform- because that’s what you’re doing by moving forward with time.

You will look back on these events, but with the gift of healing, growing, moving on even if it’s not how you imagined and planned for. Even if you never have answers, real closure. See things play out in the end. If science has it figured out, these babies I’ve lost are still genetically a part of my body, still with me physically, not just angels in my dreams. I go forward in space and time with them.

Whatever you may be going through you can make it even if it seems impossible in the now. Be kind, be kind, be kind to yourself.