#wrapgod

Look, I was going to go easy on you not to hurt your feelings, but how can you maintain a track for six minutes, only talking about wrapping paper. Just, a feeling I've got, like this could be extremely good, or plain terrible, and if it is then you're in trouble. Big trouble

But if we are as terrible as you claim we'll be, We're sorry, we're really really sorry.

I'm beginning to feel like a WRAP GOD (wrap god) Sellotape, blu-tack, put it all in a FAT WAD (fat wad) Not just any other wrapper can join this WRAP SQUAD (wrap squad) They said I wrap like a robot so call me WRAP BOT But for me to wrap like a computer's not idea, 'Cause then I get crap He just gift wraps All my line folds, fuck an in-tag Here's a ruler, fucking ballsack Origami, fuck your compat Pre-made sellotape rip, so I'm on track! DOUBLE SIDED Don't make me laugh I bet when you started You didn't have your plan decided! Then it all ends up lopsided Try and take on the advice provided.

SLICKETY HIBBERDY GIBBERDY SHIT FLOP You don't really wanna get into a rapping match with this WRAPPIDY CHAP Packing a tag with a bag that the tag actually matches So I brag and you wave white flag Shape of your present ain't half bad, but no structure? It'll all sag Yeah I'm liable to wrap a motherfucking bicycle over the back of a couple a rappers that can't wrap a motherfucking box Show off... I'm in tip-top shape Made a ribbon in a floral shape How could I not know they're coming back round Feel my wrap for the tap Wrap isn't havin' a rough time this time of year So let me be crystal clear! Imma be the only wrapper tupac gifts, small or biggie, yeah

I'm beginning to feel like a WRAP GOD (wrap god) Sellotape, blu-tack put it all in a FAT WAD (fat wad) Not just any other wrapper can join this WRAP SQUAD (wrap squad) And you really get utensils from this WRAP BOX (wrap box) Everybody want the key or the secret to wrap or immortality like I have got I didn't always like throwin' paper 'cause it was a rip off. (Get it? Rip off!) But since birth I've been cursed with this curse to wrap these gifts like a purse or a nurse or a hearse, or any other shape you could throw at me. I thought I should warn ya, it's hard to smooth out a corner, your parents'll mourn ya when they find you hanging by a ribbon noose in the corner. Accordin to wrappin' from my mum Sally, Dianne, Karen, Martha Stewart gave tape for me practicin' takin' notes of the wrap that it's locked in. It's bad enough to when they grow up, roll up and follow my mission, to meet fat man and kill all those minions. Listeniing to rockin' Robbin, when we walk in the mist of the north pole gates Packed the detroit? Ridin' on a sleigh, only one more sleigh has a big fat belly and a beard. Show him all your pies and they're gone! CLICHE! You noobs think's all a game 'Til you're matching tags with names Whilst you're drinking! Tell me what the duck are you thinking All mixed up little boy Grandma's knickers end up in the hands of ya dad little boy You're mixed up in a massive cur of tradition, Studying wrappers edition little boy. Holy crap those guys can wrap That's all they say little boy! Get a pay check and a hell yeah and a sponsor from paperchase everyday little boy. You could say that we're making paper ZING Mad men like don draper CHING You're not a proper wrapper 'cause you're cheating with a stapler Basically boy you're never gonna be capable to rap it up at a speed like me little boy 'Cause...

I'm beginning to feel like a WRAP GOD (wrap god) Sellotape, blu-tack put it all in a FAT WAD (fat wad) Not just any other wrapper can join this WRAP SQUAD (wrap squad) And you really get utensils from this WRAP BOX (wrap box) Bit'a turbo on your presents like Los Santos (Santos) Every different occasion Wrapping invasion BIRTHDAY CHRISTMAS No persuasion Christening of a kid I don't even know, But I bought presents though! And no words should be spoken Immaculate scissor move I'm a pro my blades always smokin' Look at my perfect motion I'm at my wrapping prequel Everest and that's devotion. I worked at Clinton Cards and never got a sales promotion. But I don't give a sheet Now those phonies read my slogan If I don't utilise what I do then it's gonna be once in a while I'll step and slide off my A-game and now collide When the whole world quits Mom and daddy won't let Hemley's gift wrap it. Still gonna keep my tool kit just incase one of you dumbshit rabs are hungry looking at me like I'm unfit I know there was a time where once I was King of the wrap battle On my knees in the living room with a mince pie reppin bow ties And the high-fi and an autobiography written by Stephen Fry The DVD of the cable Guy Other rappers can't touch this, I'm on the Mc Hammer shit. BITCH Wrap whatever you throw at me, I'll wrap a cuppa tea A CAT A GAT A Katy B and put it under the christmas tree Bow selecta' Never enter a girl without a ribbon! That's a wrap on these crap jokes, Get it? Rap on these crap jokes! That's a crap joke See if we get away with it now that it's not '09 though Symetrically-illy I'm pretty sure you wrapped up your balls and willy That's not normal... Fuck being normal at christmas it's kinda chilly In December when we start vember, Caught me going rogue Hey Stan you remember? I was just filling my bag with stock and nob I'm hatin' legal tender. Man oh man that was a 24/7 special on the CCTV So Stan went straight to our boss the very next day tellin' all kinda tall tales Imma kill you Stan Wrapped up in the trunk  of my car and put him in bows! Imma kill a really silly billy for assuming I'm abusing, what I got to do, to get it through to you? It's so confusing. Hey Stan thought you were the man and you died by the hands of the guy you're accusing Figure skating round the freeway, demonstrating how to give a motherfucking rapper, that was feeling like he's complicating matters And I know the wrapping game is still debating that one day that they can say I gave up, They'll be celebating. 'Cause I know the way to get 'em educated I make elevating presents, you make elevator presents. WHAAAT?! Respect my presents other wrappers take anti-depressants Mum do not come in, urm I'm just wanking! There's nothing worse than being caught by a family present wrapping I don't know how to make gifts like that, I don't know what bows to use Let me know when it occurred to you that the bow's just like the one on your pair of shoes. I can see right now while you be confused How many presents have I gotta show you To prove that if you was half as skilled as mwah you could use a pair of scissors too. I'm a TAPE JUNKIE Gifts chunky And look at the smooth finish, yours lumpy So bumpy but don't be grumpy Don't bully yourself I'm good on so many layers, get it? In fact we're a million layers above you That's why we makin' fun Sprinklin' glitter on these presents like machine guns Your efforts lazy like a two and a half men rerun The countdown has begun But shit we're outta puns 30 seconds to run still we're not nearly done!