#womp womp...

well im not gonna make it!!!!! 😝😝😝😝

parents are not happy

im tweaking why is sixth form so hard!

my mental health progressively gets worser each time 🥹

this is what i get for picking the wrong gcses to fit in with people

i was actually doing so well in year 7-9 wtf happened

"this school is meant to challenge your brain for your future work environments so of course you have to handle it under pressure!" <- what one of my teachers said, ive been keeping my attendance up, participating in classes, i think i already know how a future work environment would work!

my brain cannot function well, the atmosphere overstimulates me i just dont know why

my mental health has gotten worse over the years, school isnt helping

but alas im alone in school its hard to socialise there with crazy amounts of people its like a whole ass football tournament

im still waiting for a friend yk 😕

it's to do with how culturally bland V feels. lemme elaborate...

when you create your V, you're expected to project traits onto them to an extent. you can control their look, their voice, how they dress, the dialogue options, their morals, their personalities. it makes sense that you, conciously or subconciously, assign some kind of cultural background to V. from the onset when i designed my character, i decided my V was afrolatina. felt like giving her a cultural and ethnic background made her more fleshed out, you know? but it became painfully difficult to roleplay that in-universe.

at jackie's ofrenda, there's no dialogue option that suggests V is intimately familiar with the tradition. V doesn't speak any language other than english despite spanish, japanese, haitian creole, etc. being very prevalent throughout the game. every childhood story you tell is non-descript about your family or your wider family history. also, that stupid clown npc calls you a gringo. you see where i'm going with this. it feels very difficult to assign V any sort of cultural background because it gets really slippery and ends up not hashing out when you're trying to roleplay with such limited dialogue options.

and don't get me wrong, it's a huge game, so i'm not expecting there to be extensive options in every situation. but a little something now and then for the player to choose where exactly they come from, their family history, or even a language they speak, would've been nice. the way V operates currently feels very bland. it feels like they slapped on the white american treatment to V as a one size fits all and it didn't work for me. i can't imagine it works for a lot of people who have a non white V. especially since themes of segregation based on nationality and race are really really prevalent in the game.