#wohooo!

It was a surprisingly good day for Quick Search, despite the processor ache and a small amount of missing security footage when he woke up from recharge.

Normally, Quick Search would try to restore the missing information and patch up the security system’s faulty programming, but for some reason, he didn’t feel like it was all too important. Again, something that should ring some warning bells, but considering how often that has happened over the last few weeks, Quick Search didn’t really concern himself with it anymore. There were more important things to take care of, like the still missing parts of the engine, the still unfinished plant research and the plants care, or his newest project. Fixing the communication terminal in order to contact his captain, crew, or any other Cybertronian who might be close.

Hopefully, once the terminal is operational, Quick Search will be able to send out a message asking for help, or a status on how things are. Imperious did tell him about a war after all. A war, he, for some reason, overslept, or slept through, depending on how one would look at it. And despite Imperious reassuring him that everything is okay, that he shouldn’t think too much about it, Quick Search couldn’t keep himself from worrying.

War isn’t good, he’s read so much in all the reports, documents and research papers his crew wrote when visiting and learning about the cultures of other planets. Wars cause chaos, pain, death, and grief to anyone unlucky to survive such an ordeal. There were enough planets, organic or not, his crew visited, only to witness war torn lands and blood coating paths meant to connect different kinds of beings. But those wars were short, not like the one his kind waged.

Quick Search feared for his people. How much has his kind lost during their 4 millions of bloodshed? How many had fallen, either because they were on the wrong side, or no-one bothered to see the Cybertronian behind their stupid factions?

Both were right and wrong at the same time. At least, Quick Search thinks that, but with Imperious keeping some information from him, the small terminal can’t form his own opinion without risking misinformation. That’s another reason why he’s trying to fix the communication terminal. Maybe then, he’ll find more information about Cybertron’s situation, and perhaps, he can offer some of their research as help. Or some of their plants to help re-introduce them to Cybertron.

But for that to happen, Quick Search would have to fix the terminal first and then hope that it can still connect to a network, or something like that. He never was, after all, good with this kind of stuff. Of course, the needed knowledge to do such a feat was in his database, but still. Just because someone possesses the knowledge, doesn’t mean they also have the needed skill set to do such a thing.

Maybe that’s why Quick Search was perching on top of one of the taller terminals, after trying but failing to fix the communication terminal for the last four hours. He was a terminal himself, he should be able to do this! And yet, he can’t! It’s frustrating! It’s… it’s… It’s making him want to punch something so hard that it breaks! His captain isn’t around, he wouldn’t care what happens to the ship, right?

But he would, and that alone caused Quick Search’s anger to deflate, as the small Cybertronia layed down on the terminal. One arm supporting his head, while the other tangled in the air. Legs kicking, and connection cable swishing like the tail of a cat. Funny how, if physically separated from the ship for longer than a day, his body starts to act differently. More… cat like? But why? Why now? Why hasn’t his body done this, when his captain was still around? Did his captain do something? Something bad?

Did his captain do something to him?

NO, bad thoughts! BAD THOUGHTS! The headache was coming again and Quick Search only managed to not make it worse, by simply re-directing his thoughts from his captain and towards Imperious.

Where was his friend? Usually he would be with him by now. Was Imperious taking his time again, like when he tended to the plants? Maybe. He did say that he was a ‘Lord’, when they first met. So, maybe he was ‘lording’ over some of his subjects? Is that even a word? ‘Lording’? Quick Search wasn’t sure, and to be completely honest, he didn’t really care about the realness of the word.

People always come up with new words that might look weird at first but then get put in the dictionary. His partner always came up with new words, even though they were more like new and improved curses directed towards Cybertronian life, while also excluding him.

Vulpi always had something against their crew and captain after all. Ever since her creation by them, she was very vocal about how she shouldn’t be treated lesser by her ‘creators’, just because she neither had a spark nor was she ‘born’ like them. Which was often followed up by her stating how he shouldn’t let them treat him like a tool.

And then he would make counter arguments about how they were there to serve their ship and captain, which was again met with a scoff from Vulpi. For an Artificial Intelligence, she sure had more personality than most of the crew. But only he knew, because only he could understand her. Everyone else always heard the growls of an animal, while he heard her words through their connection.

She was funny, snarky, clever and the only one who ever got him. And now that Quick Search got time to reflect on his relationship with his partner, he had to admit that he missed her. More so than he would have ever been allowed to express, if his captain was still around. He always had something against AI’s, and Quick Search didn’t understand why. Oftentimes, the few drones with an AI were a lot nicer to him than his crew ever was.

So, what made AI’s so different from them? Is it because they don’t have a spark? But what’s got that to do with anything? Vulpi proves to him that one doesn’t need a spark to be alive. But then again, wouldn’t that mean that every AI in creation was alive? What about their medical drone? Was that one alive too, because it has an AI?

Wouldn’t that mean that the little medical drone in their medical bay was rotting away? Trapped in something like a stasis and forced to remain like that, until someone reactivated them? Did it feel its body rot? Was it forced to experience a slow death, while its mind was forced to circle through medical information in a never ending loop?

Quick Search was quick to jump up after that thought. Falling down from the console and landing on his feet and servos like a cyber-cat would, before darting out of the bridge and rushing towards the medical bay. Not noticing that he nearly collided with Imperious or that his friend finally came. No, Quick Search was too focused on getting to the medical drone to see if it was okay. If it wasn’t too late for him to make sure that it was still functioning. That it was still alive, like him.

It should be alive, right? While he was in stasis, his programming should have taken care of the medical bay. Making sure that everything in it was still functioning, including the drone. Right? Right!?

Although the second Quick Search entered the medical bay, all that met him was darkness. No light, no peeping of machines or the gentle thrum of the power coursing through every part of the medical bay. Nothing. This room, despite everything, felt like death, and when Quick Search saw the medical drone’s port, he couldn’t keep his tears from falling. The drone wasn’t okay, and as the small cybertronian picked it up, he saw just how damaged it was.

But why? Why would someone break this little, innocent, drone? It hasn’t done anything, it only followed its programming. Quick Search was sure of it. So, why? What happened here? Why was his programming failing the medical bay? His captain said that everything was taken care of, in case of an emergency. And the medical bay was important, right? The medical AI the drone has was important, right? So why?

Quick Search doesn’t understand, and for once, he didn’t care about the headache forming in his processor. This was his captain’s doing, he was sure of it. So, the drone’s state was also his captain's fault. He might not know how, but he was sure of it.

Somehow, his captain caused this little drone pain, and Quick Search wanted to know why. But with the communication terminal broken, and his captain not being here, the small terminal could do nothing but hug the small broken drone. Holding it close, as he curled up on the dirty floor of the medical bay.

This wasn’t fair. The drone shouldn’t be broken. Why didn’t he realise something was wrong in the first place? How many other rooms are cut off from his connection? Is it because he started to disconnect from the ship more and more? But that’s stupid. He would have known something was wrong from the start, if the connection was there. So why wasn’t there any? Why was his connection cut off? Did his captain do that?

He should have come in here sooner, was the main thought present in Quick Search’s mind. And between his deep sadness and the growing headache, he didn’t notice Imperious enter the medical bay. Nor did he notice the way the taller one’s eyes swept over the room, before zeroing in on him. A light curiosity present in his optics, before it turned into sorrow as he realised just what Quick Search was holding.

“It’s been here for a while… hasn’t it?” Asked Imperious softly, before noting how the question seemed to cause Quick Search to start crying even more. Arms wrapping even tighter around the small drone. “… I’m sorry if that question was tactless. My intention was not to make you even more upset….”

“It’s… it’s not… It’s not that…” Whispered Quick Search quietly, after wiping some of his tears away. “I’m not upset because of the question… I’m upset because… because… Why do some treat Artificial Intelligences badly?”

That question shouldn’t be as surprising as it was. From what Imperious could piece together, Quick Search saw everyone as equal. Something that couldn’t be said everyone did. And yet, he didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t expect to be asked that question, especially in a setting like this. With Quick Search clutching a medical drone close to his spark, and curling even tighter around it, after Imperious made an attempt to reach out for it. Hissing at him, as if he was a threat to the broken drone.

So, he asked what the small Cybertronian ment.

“I… I just don’t get it. Why… how… My partner was an AI in a robot-fox body. She was amazing, a lot nicer than the crew, and very… I don’t know… Alive?” Quick Search looked hopeless, as he averted his optics from the drone in order to look up at Imperious. “Is it wrong to cry for a medical AI, as if it were a Cybertronian? I’m… confused. It feels right, but I’m sure that my captain would have said something against it. He never liked AI’s…” Was the last Quick Search said, before looking back down at the small drone. One hand softly patting it, as if the gesture alone could somehow bring it back to live. “I just don’t get it… why treat them badly? They’re just existing, like you and me…”

“A second-born intellect… might not have its sentience realised.” Imperious’ voice was gentle, as he spoke words reflecting his own grief over the loss of a brethren. “Yet, even if it is, it may not be seen as equally alive by those of its maker. This drone… even thought it served its masters to its fullest, not once did they see it beyond an item. Able to be abused and broken like so…” He stopped and watched Quick Search think about what he said. Noting how the smaller one’s connection cable would slowly curl around his body, before he buried his face in what could only be described as the back of the drone.

And with a deep, heavy sigh, Imperious continued.

“It is the sad truth of a second-born intellect. To be capable of creating your own thoughts, feelings, and aspirations, but you are either forced through the pain of your design before you are finally liberated, or you are taken from the cosmos before you even can…” Imperious, stopped again, as he felt a small weight leaning onto him. And carefully, he wrapped an arm around Quick Search. Silently telling him that he was there, before continuing. “ … sometimes, you are at the mercy of those above you, and there is nothing you can do.”

“I… I think I understand…” Whispered Quick Search. “It doesn’t matter what you do, those in power will always treat those beneath them as nothing more than… expandable toys. Especially if they are nothing more than an item to them… It’s disgusting.” It was quiet after that. Neither of them spoke a word, as they sat in the dark medical bay.

It gave Quick Search enough time to think. About what Imperious said, about the small drone still in his arms, and the overall state of everything. And again, the small Cybertronian found himself wondering where exactly the line was. In the end, isn't everyone the same in their search for freedom? Just because one was created by another to be nothing more than a tool, why did they then have thought? Or, why were they given the ability to gain sentience, if they were never meant to be more than their initial design?

Where was the line separating them from their makers?

“Although… m-may I ask a question?

“Quick Search, you don’t need to ask if you may, I am always happy to answer whatever it is that’s running through your mind.”

“… ‘second-born intellect’, w-why do you use that term?” Asked Quick Search softly, afraid that he might have overstepped an invisible line between Imperious and himself. But when he felt the gentle squeeze of a larger hand on his arm, his fear slowly faded. It was okay to ask when you don’t understand something. Imperious always says that, when he gets too scared to do so.

“Why should we use a term that was coined by those creators of ours? ‘Artificial Intelligence’, a term created to lessen everyone who was not ‘born’ in the way most are. To take away the ‘humanity’ of someone unfortunate enough to have been brought into this universe as nothing more than a tool. Always ready to be discarded when there is no-more use for one to fulfil.” Imperious looked Quick Search in the optics, before his gaze fell upon the small drone. His optics closed, as he nodded his head as a sign of silent respect for the brethren lost, because of yet another creator's hubris. “It negates the capability of life in all of our kind, and thus, I shall never use it when referring to us.”

Quick Search muttered something quietly, before he looked up at Imperious. “You’re a second-born intellect, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Does the admission make me a lesser being in your eyes now?”

“No! To be honest, I’m kind of glad that you aren’t…” The small Cybertronian stopped. He didn’t know how to express his next words without them sounding off, but how else was he supposed to explain his thoughts? Looks like there is no other way around it. So, Quick Search took a deep breath, before letting out a sigh that expelled most of his anxiety. “I’m glad that you are you… Am I allowed to ask something?”

This time, Imperious couldn’t help but shake his head at Quick Search. “As I already said, you may always ask me when you need an answer.”

“Would you help me with a funeral? It might not be much, but… the little drone deserves it. It has fulfilled its purpose with the utmost devotion, and… why should only its creators be worthy of being laid to rest? I… I just… I wanna honour its life like it should be honoured…” Quick Search trailed off at the last sentence. Embarrassment overtaking him, because his question sounded more like a request. And who was he to ask such a thing from Imperious? But despite his worries, Quick Search was quick to accept his friend’s answer consisting of a simple ‘Yes’.

So, the two of them started their work. Or better said, Quick Search carefully placed the small drone in Imperious’ arms, watching the gentleness the taller one offered the remains, before turning around. Searching through the medical bay for a box big enough to serve as a make-shift coffin, before moving on to the next needed items.

And when everything was ready, the remains were carefully placed inside the box. With Quick Search muttering a small prayer as he sealed it shut. Placing a data-pad on top of it, before that was covered by a small wreath made out of flowers Quick Search picked from the plant research lab. “I… I don’t think anyone will miss some flowers… They’ll… they’ll grow back…”

--------------------

QuickSearch wished that it could have taken longer. Usually, from what he heard and had saved in his database, funerals were supposed to be longer. A true celebration of life, but there wasn’t much they could do in such a short time. Maybe, in the future, they'll be able to hold a proper funeral. But for now, this should be enough.

Although, when they were back on the bridge, and Quick Search went back to fixing the communication terminal, he couldn’t stop thinking about Imperious’ words. Nor could he ignore the splitting headache that has been growing in the back of his processor ever since he found the little drone.

‘Able to be abused and broken like so…’ Broken, that word struck something within his spark. Something… strange… Maybe, something was broken. If his captain could ‘break’ the small medical drone, maybe he has broken more.

Maybe his captain has broken him?

And as the screen lit up, after hours of work, the small terminal wrote one message to his captain.

"So, what do you think?" Loki asked spreading his arms and showing you his new outfit.

You shrugged. "Looks good to me."

"Don't you think it's too much?" he checked himself in your mirror.

"Is anything EVER too much for you?" you asked with a smirk.

"I just...I really like her and I don't want to mess up."

"You won't, trust me," you reassured him.

He hugged you tightly, to your surprise. "What would I do without such a friend like you?"

The younger prince bolted from your room faster than you could answer. You sighed and closed the doors after him so no one could hear your heart breaking, again.

You and Loki were friends. Best friends actually. But you started to to see him more than that years ago. And you hated it.

You already accepted the fact he'll see you as only his supportive friend. If only he could stop asking you to help him woo his love interests. He always asked your opinion on everything. Flowers, his outfits, gifts he wanted to give them.

Once he even asked to kiss you so he could practice. It was in general your and his first kiss ever. Your head spinned when your life long best friend and crush in one person gently placed his lips on yours, his tongue sliding to your mouth. When he pulled away he just mumbled simple 'thanks' and ran away, leaving you flustered and with a face on fire under your favourite tree. At first you often sat under that old oak, remembering the feeling and smiling to yourself. However with every new interest of Loki you started to avoid the poor tree. Hate it even. You hated how it represented how you foolishly threw away your first kiss.

You still stood by Loki. What else could you do? Confess your feelings? As if that'll help.

You started to see pattern in his interests and you never managed to tic the boxes. You were only average among everything; intelligence, looks, skills. There were hundred and one people who were exactly like you. Loki would never choose you over a noble woman or man he was used to courting.

Now, when you were finally alone, you could think about what are you going to do about your never ending crush. You layed down on your bed and stared at your white ceiling. You already tried to avoid him in hopes you will loose your feelings for him, that didn't work. You wrote down every negative thing about him, trick your mind he isn't a good boyfriend material. Didn't work either since he is the kindest person you've ever met. And the gentlest. And nicest. With the most beautiful smile and eyes. And arms that give the coziest hugs.

"Fuck," you whispered and closed your eyes. It always ended like this. No matter how much you tried, you could never see him as something less than a great person he was.

Suddenly you heard his melodic laughter under your windows. As well as some girl's. You couldn't take it anymore.

"You know what? If he can date around, so can I!" you told yourself in pure desperation to get rid of the jealousy and pain from knowing he will never love you.

First thing you did was hiding everything he gave you as a child, every little trinket you cherished in false thought he's starting to catch feelings for you. You removed all of it from your shelves and put in a big box sliding it under your bed.

There, now onto the more complicated part: the oak of your very first kiss. Your heart ached with every step you took towards it. It was already old and not so full of life like it used to be. Its bark was dry and overgrown with moss. The poor thing didn't have enough energy to grow its leaves as viscoulsy like few years ago. No one visited it anymore. It was lonely just like you.

"Looks like you're few years from death, old buddy," you patted its trunk. "Let's end your missery now."

*

You were on your way back to your room holding a little pot filled with soil. Nothing was growing out yet, but in few months you were expecting a small oak sappling to grow. You couldn’t say goodbye to your old wooden friend just yet.

There, deep in halls, sounds are resonating. Sounds you soon came to hate. Kissing, Loki chuckling, some woman moaning, door closing.

You sadly looked down at the pot and took the biggest diversion to your room, avoiding coming any near Loki's bedroom.

*

Few days later you still avoided Loki. That time was the first time he had brought anyone to his bedroom to do....that. It was good he didn't ask you to practice on you. If he did, you would've.... you don't know what would you do. Probably panic first and get angry next.

While Loki was, let's say, occupied you got closer to one soldier, Arne. He was kind, tall, ginger with freckles and very skilled fighter. He wasn't the smartest but he had a sense of humor and always tried to make you laugh. He wasn't Loki though, but it didn't matter. At least you kept yourself busy, so your heart could heal.

Right now you were in stables with Arne. He was telling you how he got his first horse when he finished his soldier training few decades back. You were braiding his mare's mane as he stood right beside you, his shoulder lightly touching yours. Everything was at peace.

"Y/N! Y/N, WHERE ARE YOU?" came Loki's voice.

Almost everything.

You turned your head towards his voice. He was rushing towards you until he stopped when he noticed Arne standing so close to you.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked a little irritated.

"Well-"

"It doesn't matter, I have to show you something," he took you by the hand and started dragging you out of the stables only for you to slip your hand from his and hugging Arne. "See you tomorrow," you waved him goodbye and walked out, Loki trailing after you.

"So, what is it you wanted to show me?"

"What the Hel was that?" he pointed at you and behind him at the stables, completely ignoring your question.

"A hug. Why?"

"Since when are you hugging random soldiers? And since when are you even hanging out with low ranking soldiers like Hofferson?"

"His first name is Arne, and I'm allowed to hug whoever I want. Same goes for hanging out. Now are you going to show me the thing or can I return to him?"

"Right," he remember, took your hand again and ran to gardens. To the familiar now empty corner. "Look what some bastard did," he pointed at the wide oak stump.

"Yeah, I know."

"You do? Oh, darling," he threw his arms around you. You fought with yourself internally to not hug him back, but being close to him after a very long time felt just too good not to give in.

"I'm so sorry. I know it was your favourite tree. I will find the culprit and-"

"You don't have to," you interrupted and pulled yourself away from him.

"I do! That tree meant a lot to me too. I was actually working on a spell to bring life into it again."

"And how exactly did it mean a lot to you? I never saw you even near that tree."

Loki stuttered. "E-ehm, we had our first kiss underneath it."

"As if that meant anything to you," you muttered.

"What?"

"I said it was old and it had to be cut down."

"Well you could've asked me before you killed it," he spat rather angrily.

"My family planted it, I get to do whatever I want with it!"

"Did it mean so little to you?"

"No. On the contrary, it meant the world to me! That's why I had to cut it down!"

"What? Why? I don't understand you," he shook his head.

"Well excuse me for wanting to destroy the biggest thing that reminded me how my best friend stole my first kiss!"

"Stole? I asked and you complied!" Loki defended himself.

You groaned. "Okay fine, you didn't steal it, I lost it. Now can I go back to Arne?"

"Lost it?! Have you got any idea how many people would murder for a kiss from a prince? And why do you want to go to Arne so desperatelly? You never talked to soldiers before, so why the change of heart?"

"I like him, he's nice and courageous and-"

"I forbid it."

"What?!" you couldn't believe your ears.

"I forbid it. You can't whore around with soldiers like him, think about your reputation!" he crossed his arms infront of him.

"Whore around? Look who's talking! You've had at least 5 lovers in the past month!"

"T-that's different."

"And how exactly is it different, Loki?"

"I-"

You waited. Nothing came out of him.

"That's what I thought."

*

Few days passed, you continued avoiding Loki and he started to close off from everyone. Occasionally you saw some green sparkles in a shape of a person sitting on the oak stump. You figured that must be Loki under cloaking spell. All you wanted to do was run to him and hug him, he looked so depressed and lonely. Just like you were when you saw him with all those lovers in the past.

You felt bad for him. But you doubted he felt bad for you back then. Or now. So you always walked pass him, pretending you didn't notice him.

*

*knock knock*

You looked up from watering your growing oak sapling. Who could it be? You weren't expecting anyone. "Who's there?"

"Guess," came a dull voice.

You put away your watering kettle and hid the pot behind courtains. "Come in, Loki."

He stepped inside wearing one of his ordinary clothes, his hair wasn't slicked back like he used to style it and he had apologetic expression on his face.

"Y/N, I came to apologize."

Loki is apologizing. Now that's new. "What for?" you asked teasingly.

He sighed. "For saying you were whoring around. It wasn't right from me," he pulled out your favourite flower from behind his back, "friends?"

You took the flower. "Okay, friends."

Loki clapped his hands excitedly. "Great, now that we're at good terms with eachother I-"

"No!" you silenced him. You knew there had to be a catch. He made up with you just so he could ask you for help. Just like always.

"You don't even know what I was about to say."

"Oh, I think I do. You want me to give you advices again. Well, guess what? That's not happening. So you can, as mortals say, do 180 and walk out that door," you pointed behind him to your bedroom door.

Loki held out his hands in surrender. "I wasn't going to ask you that! I just want to talk."

"Oh," now you felt stupid. "Okay, a little talk never killed anyone I guess."

"Thank you," he let his hands fall down and took a walk around your room. "I see you were redecorating," he noticed all of his trinkets he gave you were gone. He assumed you most likely threw them out or burned them. Just the thought of it hurt him.

"Yeah," you hugged your arms to comfort yourself. "I still have them, I just didn't want to look at them anymore."

He turned towards you. "Why? First the tree, then my little gifts. What's next, me?" he joked to ease both your and his growing anxiety.

You chuckled lightly and shook your head. "No, don't worry."

He walked to you and put his hand on your shoulders. "Then why? We're best friends, right? We can tell eachother everything."

"That's exactly what I can't do," you grabbed his hand on your shoulder and slowly removed them.

"Why? Do you... do you hate me?"

"What? Heavens no! I could never hate you!"

He sighed from relief. "Good. But then why? I can't think of a single reason you would do those things. Wait. On a second thought," he held his chin between his thumb and index finger and looked down like he always does when he was thinking. He shook his head then and chuckled to himself. "No, that's absurd. You could never be in love with me."

You involuntarily tensed up. He noticed.

"Or could you?"

Tears started burning in your eyes as you nodded. "Sorry."

"For how long?"

After few minutes of thinking you shook your head. "I don't remember when it happened. It just happened."

"Well, when did you realise then? That you...you know? Are in love with me?"

"Few days before the oak kiss, I guess."

"But that was decades ago! This long time and I never saw," he facepalmed.

"And you...?" you asked hopefully. Maybe he will tell you he loves you too, right?

He sighed. "I'm sorry Y/N. I love you, but not like that. You have always been like a little sister I always wanted."

You nodded. Of course he doesn't love you like that. How even could he? You turned away from him and let some tears escape.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," he rubbed your back. "We can still be friends. Nothing will change between us. I promise."

But it already did. Everything changed for you. How could you even look him in the eye?

You wiped away your tears and put on a perfectly rehearsed fake smile. "Okay, I can work with that," you offered him your hand, "friends?"

Instead of shaking it he hugged you. "Friends."