#wlwrelationship

The first google article likely wrote “you’re thinking about her day and night.” While this is an indication that you’re on the path to falling in love, this by itself is not love. Waiting and counting down the minutes until she texts you back is not love. Saying she’s your “everything” is not love. Relying on her to raise your spirits and claiming she’s your source of happiness is not love. That’s infatuation. You love the idea of her and may even sacrifice to fit her into your life. 

Real love doesn’t take away from your life nor does it replace any aspect of it. You don’t date to fill a hole or because something is lacking. You should be your own individual, prior to and regardless of a relationship. No matter how much you care for your partner, they shouldn’t fit in to how you define yourself. You may enter a relationship for any number of reasons but the main reason to stay in that relationship should be because you believe in the value that someone adds to your life. And the same should go for your partner. 

You should also not conflate general kindness or positive aspects of your relationship for love. For instance, seeing your partner in the future is positive, but this escapism shouldn’t be the only indication that you care for them. Your partner being fun to hang out with or being kind to you is something that should be expected of a healthy relationship. 

On another note, jealousy and constant fear of losing her is not an indication of a mature relationship. You should respect your partner and believe that they will commit to you. And constantly trying to impress them may be a sign of your own insecurity that she doesn’t care enough about who you are. I’m not saying that going out of your way is bad, but impressing her should not serve as the basis for your relationship. Love isn’t about fear or constantly showering someone with gifts.

Now that I’ve talked about what love isn’t, I want to talk about what love is. Love is when you deliberately commit to your relationship, day after day. You make a conscious choice to be with someone that adds value to your life. They’re not only beautiful in your eyes, but are your best friend. There is enjoyment of the quiet and intimate moments. You make an effort to learn their love language. You know that if you go a day or two without talking, it doesn’t mean that they’ve suddenly lost interest because you trust your partner more than that. That’s all love really comes down to: commitment and trust.