oh so when gandalf the grey wizard of yore sets off fireworks hes 'a wonderful old fellow' and 'a dedicated protector of the small pockets of joy and love and hope that still yet reside in a crumbling and-maybe-doomed world' but when i, grand wizard smeeplebarb the girthy, do it, im 'committing malfeasance' and 'endangering everyone in this supermarket'--













