#witchingrey

There had been a time when the immortality border had been touched towards one of his fingertips --- when the acceptance of metaphoric places, of an immensity of others locations could turn into another chessboards into his hands in which he would be an hidden mastermind, turned into something naturally granted...and fair. Back in the time, maybe Lelouch refused the possibility of foreshadowing be gently exposed to his presence --- into an meaning that overcome a higher perspective of an human. Did himself, someway, had realized since a couple of time his easiness to fit metaphorical world was already a sign he was fated to be closer of a God with the understanding of a Witch while remaining human? Did himself, somehow, reached enlightenment towards the immortal Witch, without exchange confessions be mutually shared between each other? Did he expected that result into a bet he was letting to face, knowing that anyways, his whole existence would change into another perfect move of the chessboard ? 

Into another times, he would have been casual questions who dropped into his mind --- the remembrance of the reason explaining some nights filled of doubts and an delicate pain running though the corners of his heart that periodically awakening an guilt sensation to everything he was left behind for an awaited result and slowly coming closer...However, right now, stars reflections into his sapphire eyes awakening an gentle nostalgia. His mind was too high for be content with a feeling of treading water, where the entertainment of his grey cells had to be carried out by the possibility of playing chess, of taking part in the trials with confidence, of being able to touch with his finger the excitement of victory. 

aw cassie yay i got to be able to boost you ;u; i’m so so happy! you hmu if you ever need help ok!!

shipping prompts   “kiss” - your muse passionately kisses mine on the lips @witchingrey​

A slow and pleasant echoed breath resonated into his ears, it was his own and a quiet inclination that dreamy shape would be over. Probably another day that will following that new wake, into this newest existence, filled of creation of memories meanwhile recollections would hurt him by moments --- a internal circle of living, barely touched before until an high approach didn’t allow synchronization of real feelings towards circumstances ; a mental security he was slowly let go. Blankets softness invited him to the appearance of a smile into the corner of his lips, welcoming kindly the opening of amethyst gaze.

The night prior, he had offered to C.C quite a foolish scene of himself: admiring a bed afterwards all these uncounted nights passed into others uncomfortable places for sleep as they were travelling into their quest goal, he hadn’t helped himself to hugging one of the pillow with a deep happiness sensation. Nothing about that reaction could have be faked in any way, when he had realizing only later, into the seconds of overjoy he had felt…he have been nothing more…Lelouch. He had reacted exactly into the high school student he had been during quite some time, without caring about sometimes be a literal fool of himself. It had feel off pursing that revelation before growing amused. A depth sentiment of contentment to have managed to make C.C laugh have wrapped his heart. Himself hadn’t expected that happiness some mere comfortable position would bring, neither how C.C would be so pleased to saw him react naturally by something so minor…instead of calling it off as he would be previously do it for the sake of some ‘pride’ he owned, Lelouch have preferred to blush. Still hugging that pillow with joy. Still smiling playfully at her.

Does the night was still around beyond the windows? Does quiet recollections about a past life have triggering once more the need to returning into reality before the presence of dawn? Did the morning was already present in the sweetness he felt just now? The absence of another touch almost created an immediate fear sensation meanwhile one of his hands catching up there were nothing he was holding, that he wasn’t held neither. C.C. She was his only thoughts in the morning. So many memories involved him watching her beloved witch remaining at the side of the bed, meanwhile daily life calling back to his engagements. There was always a constant free gaze towards the grey witch who changed his life with a compassionate and loving gaze asking for her happiness --- a promise he hoped to make at some point, when his naive mind was ignorant of her wish. Such instants have been cherished when he had turned Emperor, watching towards that closer blank. There was no one to share his diaper anymore. The spring of his existence had abruptly withdrawn during the arrival of winter and he was aware that this expectation would never end --- because his existence no longer even allowed him to be human, to expose to eyes of the world his ability to feel… he had managed by a happy stroke of luck to forget this period of his existence --- this interior void which devoured him in every atom in his organism, where he seemed to be entering into acceptance and give the impression of completely detaching from every aspect of his existence as if his world was only a game of chess that ended. Nevertheless, a remnant of pain had remained. Nevertheless, all his hope of being able to touch this happiness which was forbidden had destroyed him more.

Slowly raising his eyes as if he didn't want to remember again, as if he could pretend that this pain had never existed, Lelouch noticed golden eyes which looked at him tenderly. He ignored how many time she have moved gently into their position, allowing herself to watching the man she had abandoned herself as if she could afford to return the favor for all the warm looks she had received. The possibility to blowing away some sarcastic comments as welcomes crossed his mind but was soon forgotten, as the instant was different of anything else they shared before. Regardless how many time they could pass together, regardless how in various ways they showed how much they cared for each other, neither liked conventional ways. Probably something in his eyes was an opening but before his mouth could offer any oral response, he felt the softness of lips on hers.

Old habits died hard --- though everything he was fully used from the past week had disappear into an luxury comfort that would make an usual person cringe of jealousy, Lelouch was very attached to having some chess piece into his hands, even into the overall calmness around him. Small uninteresting detail like this simple need standing him into his own humanity: the entire world might be an entire chessboard he had turning into the main mastermind and player, no matter the move he will created, life would be impacted. Each delicate mouvement would put others people existences with them, and each little impact of his actions would deciding the rest of their life along with it --- it had been something he embraced before, appreciating how people moved, when he could feel the excitement of getting results of the pieces...but right now, he was facing an greatest meaning. Anytime, he could deciding to killing someone if he wanted, to removing any kind of troublesome piece into his chessboard because their free will would be problematic. Anytime, he could changing the entire world though words. However, Lelouch didn't feel an sentiment of overkill: a crushing sadness sentiment instead overcome him. 

The reasons of his actions slowly coming to an end and soon enough, still unsure about how many time it would be take, his presence wouldn't be necessary into his own chessboard. The goal would be reached --- the perfect and unchangeable peace he would be created by foolish some closer people around him, to left them with a betrayal sensation because it was necessary into the game and nothing else, when even his first-time excitement about hitch would disappear...for someone atrociously young, Lelouch was feeling catching up with an oldness sentiment: he lived far too long, had been hurt beyond what could be bearable ...did he imagined one day he would have to kill with his own hands the name Lamperouge for embracing his birth name? Did he imagined that the symbol who was Zero would have to disappear for becoming the shape of an Emperor who was conscious of his power? Maybe...since the beginning he always have been part of a chessboard but had refused to admit himself he had been a piece until he reached the happiness to turn out game master. Maybe...since the beginning he always have been fated to reaching that point when his human perspective seemed heavily limited, obsolete compared to metaphoric perspective. 

The power of the king will isolate you, had said C.C during their first time he get the Geass. An amused smile reached his lips, knowing there was no one around, to exposing to himself his own agreement to that conclusion. It wasn't the power itself that was fating him to that loneliness ; it was what he was doing with the power, it was the consequences on his view that changing him to live with the sentiment no one could understood as much at he did perspectives. Existence had always loved tricks with him, to playing with his hopes for better crush it filled with the sensation of irony --- he turning out to be an monster though accidental word when blood shattered around by his fault when peace had been close before ; he turned out to becoming an monster when he had coming to face the entire lie of his existence...a ache that will not fade away. His existence was doomed the moment he thought he lost his mother. His existence was fated to been unimportant the moment Charles vi Britannia exiled him, who started an preestablished gear. He had following fate advices without noticing it...but there will no any world where Lelouch Lamperouge or himself as Zero was needed...Lelouch vi Britannia will be the reason of the world damnation. 

Sighing to that last thought as himself preferred to laugh at the irony, a single thought towards his father returned quietly to him. He was grateful in the end his father always had been his first and closer enemy --- that untouchable force who didn't cared a bit about him and treating him nothing more than as piece into a chessboard he was controlling...thanks to him, he was now able to understood perfectly that gameboard perspective into their ensemble and to be able to creating what he wanted by becoming an silent Atlas taking responsibilities for everything. His name would be a warning on itself. People will be scared of him. People will hate him. People will not understood how someone that young could be heartless and cruel towards his own species as they were less that the humanity they represented...the night was the most troubling moment for him, where he was feeling alone, when Lelouch as Lelouch wanted finding again the comfort of some presence...

He wanted to forget how painful it was to be human. He wished his own immorality could be easily accepted by the density of his heart towards the reflection to anything he have done. He wanted, during a while, pretending he was again Lelouch Lamperouge, a man having royalty removed of him, a man in which nothing that frustration that left to him, a man who had enjoying victory....a man who was also protected by his Zero mask. Lelouch would keep to showing how an horrible human soul he was to the rest of the world, how deep and how heartless he could be into his actions. It was what he payed for, after all.

Surprising to hear a sound as he was lost into his thoughts, the vision of some green hair walking up into his half-dream awake state. C.C might have enjoyed the occasion to knowing him alone and dwelling on himself. Lelouch missed the closeness they previously shared into single moments as existence removed such instants as he suffered the same thing with Nunnally. He could believed into her sister enough for reassuring himself she will understand why her big brother was doing it, why he had letting her time coping with a existence without him. He didn't believing in the same thing concerning C.C, when the emptiness of the bed reminded him he was fated to some kind of second endless torture though the hope that could bring some redemption scheme, when he was recollected only they were into the same page, when he could catching up how hard it must be for her to pretending not be affected by everything. Back in the time when he was Lelouch Lamperouge, he would have asked slowly to sharing a bed. It won't be anormal. It would be just resuming some habit between each other delayed by others matters. Lelouch vi Britannia cannot send the message directly, for the appearance sake. Lelouch Lamperouge had died long ago when the metaphoric world reached acknowledgement and will never come back.