#witcher 2019

She pushes to the front of the crowd with all the tact of an oafish witcher to demand how the singer knows Geralt of Rivia and if they do, could they point her in his direction, now please?

And there, in all of his moisturized glory, sits Jaskier, who promptly proclaims to all and sundry how he and the Witcher were bosom buddies until Jaskier decided to move on (due to no intereference from any sorceresses whatsoever) so Geralt could finally get on with his destiny and oh fuck you’re the Child Surprise, aren’t you?

Of course, this revelation is said within earshot of several Nilfgardian soldiers.

Cue chase scene where Ciri and Jaskier somehow find themselves escaping the Nilfgardians through the liberal application of a pot, three chickens, and fire. Lots and lots of fire. Surprising if there’s even a village left after all that fire, really.