If I actually told you, I might have
Maybe if I actually told you
Maybe today if I Actually told you
If I told you how I was feeling
How I just wanted to hold your hand, kiss your neck
or how I loved how you distracted me from my own head
the demon that keeps me awake at night or what scares me out of bed in the morning
the pure fear of waking up
and not seeing you there
even though you never are
The pure fear
That if I can't walk 3 miles to see you
or that I can't see your smile
or the way you shy away from the camera when I Point At You
if I told you how I felt
If I actually told you maybe
just maybe I'll be able to wake up next to you
Even though you're never there
And never will be
maybe I can squeeze your hips
and kiss your neck
and tell you ‘I love you’
like ive wanted to for the longest time maybe I wouldn't have to have my sex-obsessed older brother give me a advice how to win you over
even though I know I won't ever do it
I don't want anything from you other than holding your hand
On a cold rainy night
I don't want anything from you other than knowing you're there
and that you love me back
maybe if I actually told you
I wouldn't be writing this right now Maybe if I actually told you I wouldn't be a boy in a blue bow tie with a stupid face mask on
that I only did that I would look better my self-esteem is all the way up in space
but sometimes it plummets
it doesn't always around you
Or when I think about you
or even if it's the memory of your presence
if my confidence was there
especially with you
maybe I could have actually tell you
