#toldyou

Maybe if I actually told you

Maybe today if I Actually told you

If I told you how I was feeling

How I just wanted to hold your hand, kiss your neck

or how I loved how you distracted me from my own head

the demon that keeps me awake at night or what scares me out of bed in the morning

the pure fear of waking up

and not seeing you there

even though you never are

The pure fear

That if I can't walk 3 miles to see you

or that I can't see your smile

or the way you shy away from the camera when I Point At You

if I told you how I felt

If I actually told you maybe

just maybe I'll be able to wake up next to you

Even though you're never there

And never will be

maybe I can squeeze your hips

and kiss your neck

and tell you ‘I love you’

like ive wanted to for the longest time maybe I wouldn't have to have my sex-obsessed older brother give me a advice how to win you over

even though I know I won't ever do it

I don't want anything from you other than holding your hand

On a cold rainy night

I don't want anything from you other than knowing you're there

and that you love me back

maybe if I actually told you

I wouldn't be writing this right now Maybe if I actually told you I wouldn't be a boy in a blue bow tie with a stupid face mask on

that I only did that I would look better my self-esteem is all the way up in space

but sometimes it plummets

it doesn't always around you

Or when I think about you

or even if it's the memory of your presence

if my confidence was there

especially with you