#winged!castiel

Sam leaned back into Castiel’s side. The angel wrapped a cautious arm around his torso, light enough that Sam could push it off without much effort, but when Sam hummed and laid his hand over the back of Castiel’s, he relaxed, and his arm became a grounding pressure that helped quiet Sam’s brain down a little. Sam shifted until he was comfortable and closed his eyes, squeezing Castiel’s hand and listening to the steady turn of pages as Castiel read.

Sam had tried to read earlier himself. First on his laptop until he gave up as the brightness of the screen made his head hurt, and then an actual book but at that point, his mind had been too full to process any of the words he was looking at. He’d tried napping, to see if that might reset whatever was messing up his head, but that only worked when he could actually fall asleep. He felt exhausted and restless, brain too loud and yet nothing in it beyond a static sort of buzz that made it impossible to focus on anything.

At least he had Cas, and Cas was familiar and warm and willing to sit in silence with him for however long Sam needed.

Castiel moved slightly, and Sam opened his eyes. He felt it before he saw it, an impossible breeze tickling the back of his neck, a warmth like sunshine spreading over his right side, that angelic ozone smell that always lingered around Cas growing stronger for a moment. Slowly, easily, one of Castiel’s wings extended, disobeying the laws of physics to fold through the back of the couch and over Sam’s body. Sam could see through it, though the image on the other side was scattered across the numerous feathers like the facets of a gem. Castiel’s reflected the colors around them, the warm glow of the lamp nearby, the green fabric of the couch that Dean had insisted brought the room together, the dark gray of Sam’s sweatpants. They all gave the wings an earthy sort of glow that Sam found comforting.

He reached out to touch Cas as carefully as Cas had to touch him. The arch of Castiel’s wing slid up into his hands like a cat eager for affection. They were smooth and soft under Sam’s hands, warm like water under the summer sun. The feathers rolled out from each other and smoothed back into one continuous body like the tide as Sam combed his fingers through them. They felt less like a bird’s wing, and more like the memory of one, what Sam had felt when Dean had snuck the two of them into the zoo and Sam had gotten to pet an owl, the awe of getting to touch something wild and yet so gentle. It was a good memory, and Cas reminded him a lot of that owl with his cocked head and the little squint around his eyes that Sam thought was adorable.

The wing settled over Sam, no weight to it like Castiel’s arm but with an undeniable presence. The texture of the wing under his hands was soothing, and Sam couldn’t help but keep running his fingers back and forth, until the motion was less curious exploration and more comforting repetition, drowning out the buzz in his skull. Castiel’s feathers rippled, turning so that wherever Sam touched, shades of green reflected under his fingertips. Sam could almost swear that the feathers became softer to the touch, fuzzy like moss growing over river-worn stones.

Sam heard Castiel let out a deep breath as Sam’s fingers passed through the feathers once more. He hesitated a moment, unsure if Cas was okay with this, with Sam using him to stim. It was helping a lot, and Sam felt a lot more present than he had a few minutes ago, but if Cas was uncomfortable, he was pretty sure he could stop. He really didn’t want to, but he would. Castiel turned his head, and Sam felt him press a kiss to his hair, nuzzle against the top of his head like a bird. Sam ran his fingers over the feathers again, and Castiel made an utterly contented noise. He didn’t seem to mind being Sam’s stimtoy one bit. Sam managed half a smile for the first time that day and kept petting the angel, listening to the soft sounds Castiel made with each sweep over his shimmering wing.