#win18

Finally I can regroup the important and interesting conversations I’ve had lately bc that’s been the best social staple of my Stanford experience - the four or five different people I connect with per quarter

- yesterday I met up with a friend from 103 who I rarely saw this qtr and we talked a lot about relationships and what’s been new with us and idk I just think fondly of her

- convo w my ex’s ex was The Best and talked to his other ex all together lol

- got to write with poet ex and fill him in on everything and talk

- the night spent with phd was ?? wonderful? I’m kinda into him again LOL rip

- had a tinder date with a TA younger than me and ran into a mutual friend of ours and she kept hugging me and it was pure and the date was fine it was mostly a friend hangout but he’s super smart and I took notes while he was talking to use in my poetry LOL

- became close with another writer/mental health girl this qtr and she’s awesome

- one tinder match and I had a nice text convo about what we’re looking for and he seems to really like and respect my honesty which is nice

- have to do some emails but will update l8r it’s also lovely and warm and I like my outfit today

-had a super great GI visit recently

- had a nice convo with a guy in facilitation class last week who thanked me for sharing everything I always share

The fuckening™️ def occurred this week, one of the toughest weeks I’ve had in awhile but there were some gems so imma document it real quick

The bad:

The breakup was obviously rough and hurtful, I’m mostly over it but it’s still tough to think about

Overhearing the shit in my class about the people who didn’t like me....bad times

I got really sloppy last night and cut up my face bc I fell somehow and I’m sure I embarrassed myself a lot which sucks

I’m not doing super well with a lot of friends tbh and I have a lot of fear that ppl don’t like me and that was made kinda salient this week

I’ve been super mentally absent

Been sleeping poorly cuz I have death anxiety and the Stanford health center continually tells me that I am dying so idk how bad I am???

The good:

I just went to an art museum with my Florence friend and it was lovely! She still likes me lol so that’s one

I had a connection with this girl I really like this week who’s basically me but cooler and better and I went out with her yest so I’m obv anxious that I fucked up but she messaged me when she got back that she had fun so(???)

The class situation was taken care of, the head TA is a homie

I stayed up counseling a girl who was having a breakdown and it def helped me feel better that I could help her

My ex has been a good support, I unironically enjoy hanging out with him

My other ex and I are friends again bless

I slept for fifteen hours the other day and it was beautiful