#wilty fluff

Oof, forcing me to narrow it down... My top three guests are Jon Richardson, Victoria Coren Mitchell, and Claudia Winkleman. If I had the golden ticket of putting one of those three on series 16, no questions asked, it would be Victoria.

I... also have too many favourite episodes.

10x6 for Rhod's unusual hand, Claudia's animals, Jamie setting fire to a sauna, and the unadulterated insanity of This is My. 12x3 for the Lee's hang-glider, Olivia's puppet, Jon's guitar teacher, and the underground pingpong ring. 13x2 because it got four clips for Unseen Bits. It would be cheating, though, since so many of my favourite bits were cut. Overall, 10x6, I would say.

My favourite lie is a clever question, since so many iconic clips are incredible because they turn out to be true.

Any lie of Lee/Bob/Claudia, Frankie's "I have written and published a book of love poetry" and Russell's "I got picked on at school because my mother was the dancer in the titles of Tales of the Unexpected" are two personal favourites.

Still.

I don't think anything will ever outdo Lee Mack and the royal wedding.

My two favourite things about WILTY are the chemistry between Rob, Lee, and David, and the psychological mind games inherent to the format.

That clip is just... the point where it all comes to its peak. Weirdly, the wardrobe is one of my favourite elements of the clip--that Rob and David are both 'dressed' and Lee's sitting there giggling in a t-shirt and looking like he hasn't shaved. It just adds so many layers of *chef's kiss*. And when Lee reads the card, David's laugh has... just that slight edge of fear that you can hear when he reacts to Bob Mortimer sometimes. Perfection.

Steve Wright: David Mitchell and Lee Mack are here, now! I just said to Lee, I said, “Don’t spill that coffee.” What did you say?

Lee Mack: I said “Do or don’t?” Because sometimes I forget the key words in information, I’ll be thinking, “I know it’s something about the coffee and spilling. Maybe he wants me to throw it at him now.”

[laughter]

Tim Smith: Best to get it right, anyway, Lee.

Lee: Don’t spill the coffee.

Steve: Don’t spill the coffee, don’t spill the coffee! How are you, David?

David Mitchell: I'm very well, thank you, yeah.

Steve: I now do a little bit of an impression of you, but I can only do your name, so when I say as, uh [he impersonates David] “David Mitchell.” How’s that?

David: I thought I was saying my own name. That's, you know—which is, that’s the main thing I say. That’s also the best phrase to pick from me, ‘cause I—

Steve: It’s not very good, is it?

Lee: You must realise we work constantly with a man who can’t stop doing impressions, so to have a day off from him is part of the appeal of coming here today.

Steve: Sorry.

Lee: And you open with an impression of David. Why don’t you do Michael Cain?

Steve, laughing: No, I can do Rob Brydon.

Lee: Can you?

Steve: No. So listen, David and Lee Mack are the team captains of course of the award-winning BBC comedy panel show, Would I Lie to You? which is back on BBC One for its tenth series. Over the course of each show—as if you didn't know—David and Lee and a cast of celebrity guests reveal amazing stories about themselves, some of which are true and some of which are not. The aim of the game is, of course, to fool the opposition into mistaking fact for fiction and fiction for fact. It’s a great game.

Lee: Are you sure you haven’t picked up the bit of page that says Call my Bluff?

[Steve laughs]

Lee: they’re very similar.

Steve: They are. Call my Bluff was a great show wasn’t it?

Lee: Oh I loved Call my Bluff.

David: This is like the coffee—should I spill it? I think they said you shouldn’t keep mentioning Call my Bluff—

Lee: Oh, don’t mention call my bluff, I’m sorry, oh yeah—

David: —When we’re promoting Would I Lie to You.

Lee: I’ve only gone and spilled the coffee and mentioned Call my Bluff haven’t I?

Steve: I don't think it’s even a similar format.

David: It’s not similar at all, I don’t know why you thought of Call my Bluff.

Steve: Yeah, what’s the matter with you, Lee?

David: That's just off-the-wall thinking, that is.

Lee: You’re absolutely right.

Steve: Say sorry.

Lee: I realise now it was stolen from Give us a Clue.

[laughter]

Steve: How long have you two been in it?

Lee and David: From the start.

Lee: I wasn’t in the pilot, that was Alan Carr.

Steve: And Angus did the original—he was the host originally, right?

Lee: Angus did the first three series, I think, three series, then Rob had him killed and Rob stepped in.

Steve: Now what about tonight’s show? What can you tell us about tonight’s show, David?

David: Well, on the show—

Lee: I'm glad you said 'David', I can’t remember.

Tim: You’ve got it written down in front of you, Lee!

Lee: Oh, sorry, not remember, read.

[laughter]

David: Reading is the middle-class remembering.

Steve: Ooh, very nice.

Lee: Me and David have completely different catchphrases.

[laughter]

Tim: Go on, David.

David: On the show tonight are David Haye—who Rob Brydon punches in the stomach—Romesh Ranganathan, Mel Giedroyc, and Martin Kemp.

Steve: Excellent.

David: That’s a good line-up.

Lee: What’s interesting about when you see it tonight, when Rob hits David Haye, he hits him in a way that you think is a friendly punch, but he’s gone a bit too far, and then he looked round at me as if to go “Pretty impressive, eh?” and we were thinking “No, you’re an idiot! He’s going to kill you!” But Rob’s eyes go “Eh? You’re pretty impressed.”

Tim: Why does he hit him? For any particular reason, Lee?

Lee: Well, we don’t want to give away the specifics of the round—he says, meaning “I have no idea, I can’t remember, it was recorded four months ago.”

Tim: Not written down in front of you? David: I think thematically, it’s surely to do with the fact that David Haye is a boxer.

[laughter]

Lee: Oh, it’s definitely to do with David being a boxer.

Steve: Ah, that would be it.

Lee: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

David: Rob Brydon doesn’t usually lash out. I think, oddly, he’s chosen the very worst person to take a swing at.

Lee: It wasn’t just a really crass heckle put-down. David said something, he didn't like it, so he just hit him. There was far more wit involved than that.

Steve: This is going very well, isn’t it? Tonight Rob is confused, in fact, because there are two Davids on the same team. He quickly decides—I’m not reading this—to call David Haye the Hayemaker, and David Mitchell the Librarian. Listen up.

[What follows is an audio clip of episode 1 of series 10]

Rob: David—well, actually, two Davids. We’ll call you the Hayemaker and the Librarian.

[laughter]

Rob: What are you thinking, David?

David: Well, I think I don’t believe it.

Lee, laughing: Do you realise—I like the system you’ve got there—“We’re going to call you the Hayemaker and the Librarian. So what do you think, David?”

[Part of WILTY’s theme]

Steve: We’re back with David Mitchell and Lee Mack, in just a moment, don’t go away everybody! [Break] We’re back with David Mitchell and Lee Mack! Talking about their show, Would I Lie to You? Now, uh, how many shows do you do at once then, guys? I mean, I know you might do a couple a day or something like that—

Lee: Look, can we just point out straight away, we do not do a couple a day, and we need to knock that on the head quickly before the BBC go ‘Ooh, that’d save money.’

David: Yes, there’s no way—we couldn’t possibly do a couple a day—

[Chorus of ‘No’s from Steve and Lee]

David: Not with the amount of comic energy it takes even to be mildly amusing. It’s exhausting.

Lee: Yes, what people don't realise is we do one a year and we started this show in 1974. And you’re only now starting to see them.

Steve: That’s working well. Now—

Tim: When are you given the stories and when do you start rehearsing your presentation of them?

Lee: How dare you.

Steve: He has no rehearsal, Tim!

Lee: We genuinely, hand-on-heart, have no idea what’s on that card until we turn it over.

Steve: Some people, I notice, on there, are clearly bad actors, and you think—

Tim: Or are they, though, because sometimes—

Steve: No, they are—

Tim: Or are they double-bluffing?

Lee: Double-bluffing, yeah.

Tim: Yeah, double-bluffing, yeah.

Steve: I think—with all due respect, I think David clocks them before you do. I think he clocks them—

Lee: Not sure you can say that, “with due respect.”

[laughter]

Lee: “With all due respect, I think David’s better than you.”

[laughter]

Steve: No, no, but I mean, you look quite carefully, you study them, don’t you?

David: I don’t think I ever know. I think I get worse and worse. I started doing the show thinking I could tell when someone was lying. Now, I don’t even know what truth is. That’s what the BBC does to you.

Steve, laughing: “I don’t even know what truth is.”

Lee: And also I happened to be looking on Wikipedia, which is always a way of finding out whether things are true or not—

Steve: Oh, naturally, yeah, of course.

Lee: And apparently somebody’s bothered—I don’t know who, but obviously they’ve got a lot of time on their hands—to say how the show’s been going over ten years, and apparently it’s a draw so far.

Steve: Oh, that’s interesting!

Lee: If the person doing it is correct.

Steve: Oh, you’re quite competitive. I thought you were just doing it for fun.

Lee: No, not competitive, I’m lazy. I should be writing stuff on the computer for my sitcom, but I don’t, I think “I’ll look on Wikipedia, because it’s easier than—”

David: That’s interesting, so it’s level?

Lee: Yeah, I think so.

David: So the whole experience—it’s all been futile?

Lee: Yeah, it’s been pointless—well, it has been for you, but we’re just—

David: If it had been Pointless, we would be doing more than one show a day. They churn them out.

[laughter]

David: They record them double speed and then slow them down.

Lee: And they have to employ lots of very small people to make Richard look tall. He’s only five-foot-six.

[laughter]

Steve: Are you surprised that Xander is so good on there?

Lee: We don’t watch other formats. We’re far too competitive.

[laughter]

Steve: Uh, okay, so, what are we gonna look out for, on the series? Give us some highlights, then, Lee.

Lee: Well, that’s a good question, because, I now can’t remember what I did this morning and you’re asking to remember back now quite a few months. But there was definitely some moments—

David: Brian Blessed, he was on.

[various ‘Ohh’s]

Steve: No need to mic him up.

David: No, he’s actually a very quiet man in real life.

Tim: Was that a long record, with Brian?

Lee: Well, put it one way, by the end, Gordon was actually dead.

[laughter]

Steve and Tim: Very good!

Lee: Yeah, there’s a very specific reference there for that joke, wasn’t it?

Tim: Yeah, that’s great.

David: Also—I am reading from a list—I mean, that’s alright—

Steve: Yes, of course!

David: The same happens with the news, people respect the news, they’re just reading it out. Nadiya Hussain is on, Sir Tom Courtenay, Claudia Winkleman, Richard Osman, again—

Lee: Richard Osman.

David: Yeah, we all had to be miniaturised to make him look tall.

Steve: Rob Brydon is back in the host’s chair tonight, the guests are Bake Off host Mel Giedroyc, as you said, heavyweight boxer David Haye, musician and Radio 2 host Martin Kemp, and comedian Romesh Ranganathan. That’s tonight, and then it’s on every week at 8:30. And you mentioned the sitcom—

Lee: Not Going Out.

Steve: Not Going Out, so that’s coming back, yeah?

Lee: Yeah, family sitcom now, we’ve moved it on seven years, and we’ve got three children in it, to replicate my real life.

Steve: Oh, wow, that’s great, though!

Lee: Yeah!

Steve: Are you writing it?

Lee: I’m writing it—I’m in the process of writing it now, hence me delighted to be away from the computer.

Tim: Is that true? Lee: I’m not just trying out truths and lies. I’m not just going “If they believe this, I’ll use it on the show.”

Tim: Just checking—the Duck Quack Echo thing, that’s—

Lee: Duck Quacks Don’t Echo, that’s currently on Sky One now, which uh—

Tim: I like that.

Lee: I like it as well, because it pays much better than the BBC.

[laughter]

Steve: David Mitchell and Lee Mack, everybody! Thank you very much, guys.

David: Thank you very much.

[clapping]

Tim: Join me, guys!

Lee: Yeah, c’mon. Hooray.