#whywontitstop

I mean, so in love that it hurts? So much so that you can’t do anything without thinking of them?

If not, I’m sorry

If so, I’m very sorry

What really is love, though? Is it an emotion, a feeling, some sort of status or sense of being? Can you touch it and hear it? Can it be felt and diagnosed like a sickness? Or, perhaps it’s beyond the realm of the metaphysical; perhaps it’s something intangible, indefinable. Why, then, can you feel the knots in your stomach every time they speak? To what can I attribute the anxiety and uneasiness with every breath? What is to blame for my crippling emotions? Perhaps “love” is simply created. Let us say it is purely of human creation, that it is some form of social construct bound to the varying facets of the society within which we live. Where then do sexual urges arise? Surely we cannot indoctrinate an entire species to crave something so seemingly innate. But, let’s say—for the sake of argument—that primeval desire and yearning were created over time. Let’s assume that as we progressed, Pandora’s box of love, lust, and otherwise were poured out onto humanity. Can we teach someone to love or exude the lack thereof? Or are they too assigned based on the hit and miss of divine creation? But then what is a crush? Is it a type of love that has yet to be developed? Or is it something different, a differing form of love that too can vary in intensity?

At the darkest, stillest, quietest, part of the night. That's when you feel the most insecure, right? The lowest you've ever felt. Even if every thing seems to be going smooth in your life, in your relationship with the person you feel like you love. But, something inside you seems to make you feel like, "what if the last one was better than me?" & "what if they don't treat me the way they treated the one before me?" Your mind races, your heart sinks, and the tears begin to fall. That moment of intense insecurity, and loneliness fills the entire room and your left sitting there in the dark with your face in your hands. That's why you try to ignore sleeping, because the second you take your focus off something, the thinking starts and the insecurities flow in.