Like several many in India, I was an engineer. I set up part of wireless mobile network at Huawei Telecommunications. I started as a Graduate Engineering Trainee and soon was working independently, with minimal supervision and later was leading teams. After working for 2 years in various engineering functions I felt that my job was getting repetitive and wanted to try something new.

It is common knowledge in India that MBA is the key to a better salary, changing functions and becoming a Manager. So I was in the process of taking the Common Admission Test (CAT) and it’s siblings XAT, FMS etc. in 2009. Having appeared for those exams in 2006-07 during my senior year of my engineering undergrad, I wasn’t too hopeful. At the same time I came to know of my seniors who had graduated in a year before in 2006. They recently enrolled into institutes like Schulich School of Business at York University, Toronto, Canada and Asian Institute of Management at Philippines, Manilla. I knew about the GMAT exam, but never gave it a serious thought since I never had the money required to pursue a Masters from abroad. My seniors told me that it’s possible to get scholarships based on the GMAT score.

A bulb just lit in my head. “So maybe I’ll crack the GMAT, get a full scholarship, get my MBA and make tons of $$$ - easy!!” I was at 24 and full of hope. I found a used Kaplan GMAT book - erased the pencil marked answers and spent like 2 weeks preparing. I took the GMAT got 600. Not earth shattering and I knew people get into schools with that score. I checked the average GMAT scores under class-profile and most said 550-750. So I believed I was in the ballpark. Since all schools mentioned on their website that they look at candidates holistically and not just the test score, I thought “I will write stellar essays and get through”.

Why do I want to do an MBA? To earn a bucket load of money. Ok, this was simple, but I cannot write that up in my essay. In my essays I wrote that I wanted to pursue a career in Brand Management. I knew very little about marketing as a whole let alone brand management. My experience had no overlap with that business unit. I had no target companies where I would pursue a career post MBA. I had no preference for location. I never cared to connect with anyone working in brand management to learn more. All I really wanted was to make the big bucks. Doesn’t matter how.

I met several people from admission committee (AdCom) during The MBA Tour and QS World MBA. I had good conversations with everyone including Mason School of Business - College of William and Mary. So In addition to Mason, I applied to schools like Kelley at Indiana University, Case Western Reserve in Cleveland, Wake Forest University etc. 

Meanwhile, I retook the GMAT since statistically speaking, people see an improvement of 70 points on their 2nd attempt. First section AWA. Done, next up was Quant. Like most Indian applicants I had little trouble with mathematics so quant is kinda easy. Section over, now comes the Achilles’ heel – Verbal. I knew GMAT was an adaptive test. It was critical for me to get the first few questions correct, otherwise my score will dip. One by one I answered the questions to what I thought was correct. After all it sounded right to my ears when I spoke it in my mind. I mean, I communicated in English just fine! I gave TOEFL without any prep scored 105 off 120. I was taught in English throughout. Heck I was into AC/DC and The Beatles. 

At the end of the exam, I had a choice to see my score and submit or to cancel. My heart was pounding, I was sweating, I was praying for a good score to flash on the screen. What will it be? 650, 680, 720?

610

After the anxiety comes the feeling of dejection. But I had hope. I had good conversation with several AdComs I meet during the MBA fair. I decided to focus on my application. Wrote essays, reached out people for recommendation. Completed and submitted my applications. I was awaiting information on the next steps. I couldn’t sleep well. Was getting up early to check my email since it would be evening in the US when people would have replied.

I was elated to see an Interview invite from College of William & Mary! I suited up at midnight India time for my telephonic interview with Amanda Barth. The interview started well, but during the conversation she asked me “Why do you want to do MBA?” I panicked, words weren’t coming into my mind. I choked and bombed the interview. Few days later, got the result. Denied. Which was a common theme for all my applications – most without even an interview. 

I was devastated. Not only had I spent so much money and effort I lost a year of the admission cycle. I locked myself away from everyone and everything for the next 5 months. I had many questions, “Why do I really want to get an MBA?” “Why do I feel that I have reached a ceiling in my career?” “Why does my job feels repetitive?” Earning money was a byproduct, cannot be the cause.

I reached out to several current students, alumni, AdComs and tried to better understand what makes an MBA student employable at the end of a 2 year program? How is that students come in thinking they would do Finance ends up doing Marketing? Then I slowly started to see myself from skills point of view. What skills do I have now? What skills am I missing for the job that I want to do? The difference is my skill gap. Can the MBA help me bridge that skill gap?