Serendipity. A Beautiful Accident. My love story with Julian was one Iād describe as my fairytale-came-true. To be completely honest, I had a huge crush on him.
I was 16 then. Iāve only started my journey in college after attending an exclusive school for girls in my high school. When I entered freshman year, my friend Erina and I would often comment about how the cute population in the campus was in an all time low. Being a product of an exclusive school, we were too excited to be out in a world of co-education to say the least.
Julian and I were classmates over undergraduate minor subjects. I remember commenting to Erina how cute he wasĀ but that he was too serious to even be any of my acquaintances. He was the cute type of cute. He had chinky eyes that gave off very little of the soul behind it. He had an average height that was good enough for me because I was I could never get past or even close to 5 feet. He had really cute lips that purses significantly every time he speaks. But dear, those lips curl up in such a great sunshine when he smiles. He had that demeanor that was very reserved. He spoke very little in class and every time a teacher would ask him to speak out, heād answer in flawless English - and I find that attractive because not too many boys in the room could speak the way he does.
The first time we ever spoke to each other was when I was trying to let him write a note of dedication on Erinaās 17th birthday and he jokingly refuses my request because he doesnāt know her that much. Since then, speaking with him wasnāt much of a predicament. The longest conversation we had was before our PE class and we were chatting with other friends in the gym.
That night, I received a message from an unknown number. And so I asked who it was and where he or she got my number. The response I got was āI am your conscienceā. I was never patient with anonymous people and so I shut him down right there and then. It was only then that he decided to tell me it was him, Julian. God knows how my heart leaped and skipped a beat that moment. Deep down, I was hopeful at the friendship that was building up. Our communication had been frequent. We even started to have pet names for each other. We call each other Mumu - which in our language is a slang for monster. People used that term to scare little kids at night. The pet name was derived from him having a minor sleeping problem that keeps him up until the early hours past midnight. I on the other hand had always been nocturnal. Iām very productive when the moon is up and so Iād take the long hours of the evening up until past midnight to do my homework. And so, the friendship just grew more and more to be no less than just friendship and I was fine with that.
My first term in college had gone so swiftly.
My circle of friends in college grew bigger as my girl friends found a way to somehow merge with an all-boy group that included Julian. I sort of forgot how my admiration for him began to go out in the open as I could only remember sharing it to my best friend, Erina. But yes, he knew I liked him. There seemed to be no way people would believe me every time I deny it. But there was another girl.
Apart from me, people would tease Julian with Shen. Shen was one of my friends. Sheās smart, very demure, and Iād come close to saying sheād be the type of girl a guy with serious intentions would go after. She was really nice and so I was part of the group who teased him towards Julian. Needless to say, I was trying to redirect peopleās attention to that team up. That time, I was thinking that something must really be going on between the two. I mean, there was never a confirmation but Iāve always had a strong and good instinct about things. But that didnāt last long. Shen had to move out and spend her next years in college in another school to save up a few pesos for her parent.
Summer came and Julian went to Baltimore to spend his vacation with his family. His whole immediate family had migrated to the U.S. but he chose to spend his college here in the Philippines.
I on the other hand had to help man the internet shop which my mom owns.
While Julian was away, we chatted through social media to keep in touch.
There was one time that summer that I intentionally commented on a picture of him in social media with our pet name āMumuā. He was frustrated and I didnāt get it at that time up until people in our circle began to tease us with that. He didnāt want people to know we had a pet name because theyād immediately assume something romantic is going on. He even deleted my comment and I was upset with him because I didnāt think of it as such a big deal. I refused to communicate with him for some time.
June came and I was forced to see him again. Iāve never been the kind of friend who holds grudges for long and so we picked up the pieces and regained the friendship that we always had. I wanted so bad to get rid of my crush on him and people teasing us all the time that I chose to make myself immune to all the comments of people by going with the flow. It was as if I was teasing myself too.
June 25, 2010. I awoke on my eighteenth birthday, excited of what was to come, not only of that day, but of the years that would follow. My girl friends had prepared a series of surprises for me that day. They had random to close guy friends give me roses for the entire day. The last few roses came from the closest of my circle, Julian, being the giver of my 18th rose. I remember people teasing him to give me a hug and a kiss and by default, I teased him the same (it was too late for me to realize how stupid I was for teasing him that). Well, nonetheless, he gave me a decent hug and a brotherly pat on the head. I couldnāt ask for anything more that day; it was perfect to me.
July 23, 2010. I was still up in the early hours past midnight trying to finish one of the longest birthday cards in the world to me for Julianās birthday. It was going to be the card where our group of friends would be writing their messages for him, and so I made sure everyone would have ample space to write on. I came to school that day like a zombie, I was half-awake and dead sleepy. But I pulled it off and had all of his friends write down their message for him. That evening, he celebrated his birthday over dinner at his place. Some of our common friends were there. I was there too. As always, weāve been teased for more than once that evening. My friend even recorded a video of us sharing a slice of mango float together. After that night, there was a photo or two of Julian and I together on social media which went viral over our group of friends and there were comments here and there. I remember him texting me of his motherās comment on the photo, that I looked like his nanny. I was disheartened, just like any other girls would be if theyād heard that from the mother of the guy they admired. I mean, I always knew I wasnāt that pretty or anything, but I kind of hurt to hear the truth out loud.
And there was August, everything became a blur because all of the events came by so fast. Julian started acting weird. He was extra sweet over the Acquaintance Party and then he was asking me about my view on taking our friendship to the next level. I was caught off guard with his question and I remember telling him that I didnāt need that. I never needed that. People may say Iām a hypocrite for saying I didnāt want him to have feelings for me too but I never really wished that. I just enjoyed being his friend and I was always sure Iād still be his friend even if he chooses someone else to love. All I ever needed and wanted was the freedom to love him in silence. To have no one telling me I shouldnāt. An unrequited love was never a bad thing to me because I was a believer that love doesnāt always have to be reciprocated with the same amount of love, it just has to be free - in every meaning of the word.
But in no more lengthy lines, Julian and I officially became a couple on August 16, 2010.
