Maybe if I ended my life, right now. Then, I would make my mother proud. Maybe if I had never been conceived she would begin her days and end her nights with a smile. Maybe if I had never gazed in her eyes with my beautiful smile and big brown eyes.. I’m sorry if I’m your curse, I’m sorry that I’m taking far too long for you to wave your goodbyes as you watch the hearse. I’m so sorry if my 20 years being angered you so much that it enticed the thirst for the drugs of your choice. I’m sure there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to get me away from you. Why? I’m yours. I love you. I beg you to love me and you replace it with hate. Mother if I gave you a gun you’d make sure to use it on me. You told me you’d personally pick my grave and to just be brave and get it over with. That you’d water it with your own piss and spit. Why? I’m a beautiful young girl who needs their mother like all of the other girls do. I’m sweet, I’m loyal, I’m loving, In fact I’m the opposite of you. I’ve got no one; Love me, hug me, hold me, console me. My depression has always been my bestfriend, I guess it’s just us two until the end. Because you mother, ever since I was born, have always invited suicide in. It’s you mother, always have and always will. You win.
Dear abandonment, A letter to my mother.
