#whenwillthisend

The human brain never ceases to amaze and annoy me at the same time. I woke up from a quite long drama life I had in the subconscious realm. In the dream, I’ve somehow walked back into his life after a significant chapter on his own story ended - a chapter I never even dared to ask nor question yet kinda accepted to keep the dream telenovela moving. Our old buddies from highschool and his family was there at his house like some kind of small gathering was happening. Like an afternoon tea where people catch-up about what's latest in their life and all I did basically was listen and smile because I kept feeling uneasy - I don't quite understand why I walked back in his life knowing in my normal memory that he already has someone else.

After sometime, our friends started to leave as it's getting late - had a brief moment while cleaning-up the living room where I was alone with his mom and she said she's glad that I still accepted him even if he already has "Baby Santos" (my mind's really weird - where the heck did this name even came from??) and continued speaking where she brought the topic about his then ex-lover that had some kind of surgery or illness or something that gave complexity to their situation which ended their relationship. I was stunned because.. like I said earlier, I never was able to ask nor question that part of his life and I knew nothing of the state.

I stepped-out of the house gently and decided to take a walk towards a nearby park, my pace faster knowing he went out and was walking too a few moments after me. My mind kept echoing the case his mom told me and it was just plain clear that I need to be out of the story because I don't want any of it, I don't want to be a part of this. Doubts continue to crept in - and a moment later he walked past over saying "ang lalim ng iniisip mo" and I freaked-out. In a blink of an eye, I am back to reality - woke up confused because technically, humans will tend to have very little fragments of the dream they had but mine seems to be still clear as sky in my memory.

It's 11:30 in the morning on a Saturday and it really makes no sense for me to write and keep this here. But then again, a story worth-telling where my subconscious directs a full-blown cinematic universe in my head—plot twists, emotional damage, and all. Somehow his face, his voice, his presence - and even Tita's felt quite warm. Like a familiar feeling I've always knew that never left. Bittersweet of some sort.

rocking back and fourth between thoughts that fall out onto my pillow