#when nothing is working

This guy continues to simultaneously shatter and enlighten when I read his stuff. Like just page after page of reading a paragraph, experiencing emotional “kicks in the gut,” and having to wait like a week to process and then keep going. His name is Dr. Larry Crabb, this is a portion from his book Finding God: 

“Shattered dreams, however, provide a unique opportunity to change our minds about the predictability of life. When sincere efforts to do right do not produce the blessings we expect, we lose confidence in a manageable order.

Sometimes, of course, we blame ourselves for not following God’s plan as well as we should have, but even in the middle of self-contempt, we begin to realize that good living does not guarantee desired blessing. And we should nurture that thought. Living responsibly, though important, should not be our top priority in life. Life will not always reward good performance. Things are not that predictable. When unexpected problems develop that cannot be explained by earlier failure, we lose confidence in our ability to keep our lives together. We sink in a deep mire where trust in God is our only option. Perhaps that explains why true passion for God grows best in the dark.

Nothing matters more than developing a passion for Christ as we try to handle life’s struggles responsibly and wisely. Our primary purpose is not to use God to solve problems but to move through our problems toward finding God. We must develop a confidence in God that keeps us going even when hard problems continue. And that confidence develops only when confidence in our strategies to make life work is shattered. For that reason we can welcome ongoing difficulties that make us question our ability to avoid and overcome them.”