#whatwe

It’s because we care that we say what we feel, but it’s usually the act, rather than the deed that gets us into trouble. Although we may get to say what we feel, others won’t always admit they could have handled themselves better.

It’s also a shame that others aren’t always honest with us when it comes to us saying what we feel. When the other person goes on the defensive and makes the issue about us, getting where we want to be will always be slightly more difficult. But being true to our feelings, to ourselves is something we must continue to do.

But for those who lack the courage or confidence to say what they feel, perhaps it’s something they must learn to overcome. In the long-term not saying what we feel, adds to the anxiety we feel and will begin to create illness. There can be no emotional peace in not saying what’s on our mind.

Anything unspoken will always bubble away below the surface, until eventually the pressure mounts, we lose our perspective and what is the truth is lost. If the truth isn’t lost and we’re just upset, we may lose the ability to speak in a conciliatory and orderly fashion.

It’s always better to say something when things are clear and before our feelings take over. Sadly, there is never a right time to speak out. What we say tends to rest on how the other person feels and where they are in their own personal space.

Back to a feature page tomorrow.

In a world that has become more divisive we should be unique, open and honest what we see isn’t always what we get. We also must speak our truth, but do it in a way that others will listen, but not be dictated to.

What you see with me is what you get. I’m not one way in my blogs and another way in my personal life, but as we go about our daily lives we expect others to behave in the same way we do and don’t stop to question their motives, until such a time we realise we have no choice.

I grew up believing people were genuinely good, but experiences have shown me my thinking can’t stay like that. There eventually comes a time when we must become more cynical to question other people’s motives, that what we see isn’t always what we get. The only time I am cynical, is if there is a fundamental reason for me to be cynical.

Unfortunately, some of us who are constantly cynical will continue to live our lives that way, which often comes from a lack of trust. For whatever reason, we don’t trust what others say, or we take what they say with a pinch of salt. Showing others a different version of us will never play out well long term, nor will it help others understand or get to know us.

I believe it’s hard enough navigating life, let alone with people we can never know. We mustn’t be naïve enough to think that how we conduct ourselves is how others will conduct themselves either. We must learn to open-up more so that people get to see the real us with no filters. If more people got to see who we really were, there there would be no need for cynicism.

It’s sometimes enormously difficult to read people, to understand their motives. It’s important that what we see is what we get. As we hear and read in the daily news, the world would be better for it.