Lost In Him 4
Warning: dark content, rape, non-con, and explicit scene...
Notes: I'm giving you a long chapter, my dears! I hope I'd described it well enough for you to imagine it in your minds. The next chapter will be from Alericâs pov. I'm not sure where I'm exactly going with this work!! So your ideas are appreciatedđ btw you can imagine whoever you want as Aleric
Comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated! I would love to hear your thoughts on this type of werewolf fiction and what you think may happen in the future!
Make me smile with your words!đ
I thought I'd run into some crazy humans after what he said about werewolves, about him being the Alpha, about me being his beloved mate. None of it made sense. Maybe it wouldâve made sense in books or movies.
But this...this wasnât fiction. This was a nightmare for me.
Alaricâs large hand wrapped around my arm as he pulled me out of the room and down the narrow wooden stairs. I resisted, clutching the doorframe, the walls, even digging my fingers into the wooden carvings as we passed, but it didnât matter. He simply tugged me behind him as if I was a one year old child. I could only cry.
Somewhere in the haze, I held onto a fragile thread of hope. Maybe Kate would come. No... she would definitely come to pull me out of this nightmare.
The lower floor of his house looked like it belonged to another world, just like the upper floor. Everything was made of wood and stone; raw, uneven, ancient. There were so many strange doors, leading to places I didnât want to imagine.
He dragged me into what looked like a kitchen. There were bowls and knives and wooden cupboards. But there was no stove, no fridge, no sign of modern life. Just stone counters and the faint smell of smoke and iron. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this wasnât a kitchen. Maybe this was where theyâd put me on that counter⌠cut me apart⌠eat me.
He opened a small back door, sunlight spilling through.
âMy people want to meet you,â he said, his voice rough, âso, so badly. But it is not the right time. Better not to attract them by going from the front door.â
He glanced over his shoulder at me. âWe should clean you, give you...proper clothes⌠make you ready before the night comes.â
He ushered me outside as I tried to twist away, digging my nails into his skin. âLet me go!â I cried. âPlease, just let me go!â
Before I could continue with my beggings, three women appeared, rounding the side of the house. One walked ahead, the other two flanking her, moving with sharp precision.
The one in front was older, maybe in her fifties or sixties, her hair mostly white with streaks of black still fighting through. It was cut short, brushing her jawline. All three wore⌠not clothes. Strips of leather wrapped around their chests, which was...strangely straight. There was no sign of a feminine breast on them as if they had never grown breasts when they hit puberty. Their stomachs were bare with strange markings etched across their skin. Around their hips, hung skirts of animal pelt that reached just above their knees. They were tall and broad-shouldered.
If they walked through a city, theyâd never find a dress to fit those shoulders.
When they reached us, they bowed deeply, not to me, but to him.
âAlpha Alaric,â the elder woman said, her tone filled with reverence, âaccept our congratulations, please.â
Alaric gave a dark, amused laugh. âThe congratulations,â he said, âshould be kept for tomorrow.â
He turned his head toward me, and for the first time, the three women followed his gaze, as if only now noticing I existed.
âI am thinking,â Alaric went on, his eyes kept on me with such a hunger that you would assume he would just tear me apart there. " Let people introduce themselves to my sweet mate tomorrow and not tonight. Tonight... we're gonna be really busy.â
The elder smiled at me warmly, almost maternal.
âWe will accompany your mate, Alpha,â she said softly. âWe will prepare her for you.â
Alaricâs brow furrowed, and he extended his hand slightly, as if to stop her. âI want to prepare her myself.â
But the woman shook her head, âAlpha,â she said gently but firmly, âit is tradition. We will prepare your mate for the first night for you.â
Alericâs hand tightened around my upper arm. âBut I donât want to be away from her,â he said, his voice low, almost desperate. âNot even for one more minute of my life.â
The older woman smiled softly, though her eyes betrayed a flicker of respect mixed with fear. âI understand that, Alpha,â she replied, bowing her head slightly. âBut it is tradition.â
Aleric exhaled, a deep sound rumbling from his chest, half irritation, half acceptance. âTradition,â he echoed under his breath. âWellâŚâ he sighed, his thumb absently brushing over my arm where he held me, âI think we are going to have a lot more traditions from now on. Now that Iâve found her.â
His gaze slid down to me then with an impossible mixture of adoration and hunger in his golden eyes.
The woman at the front, her hair streaked silver and her back straight with authority, cleared her throat. âYour brother and the elders are waiting for you, Alpha.â
Aleric gave a little chuckle. For a second, he looked like someone who didnât quite know what to do with the sudden flood of responsibility. âYouâre right,â he murmured. âI had almost forgotten.â
Then his eyes were back on me. In a heartbeat, his hand rose to the back of my head, fingers sliding through my hair as he guided my face upward. My other hand was still clinging to his shoulder, my nails digging into his skin. His height forced my neck into a strange, aching angle as he tilted my face up to meet his gaze.
âThis is Gwen,â he said, nodding toward the older woman. âShe is one of our best she-wolves. Her English is good and she'll help you.â His tone turned firmer, darker. âYou will listen to her. You will do what she says, what she asks. You understand me?â
I stared up at him, confusion and fear tangling in my chest, words trembling on my lips. âPlease⌠pleaseââ
He didnât let me finish. His breath brushed across my face as he leaned in and his lips touched mine.
At first it was only a fleeting contact, a small, restrained peck that made my breath hitch. I twisted in his hold, struggling to free myself, but his grip only tightened. Then something inside him broke and his hunger took over. His lips pressed harder, moving over mine with an urgency that bordered on worship and possession. His beard scratched my skin as he kissed me like he had been waiting for this moment all his life.
When I refused to part my lips, he pulled on my hair until I gasped, and that was all he needed. His tongue slid against mine, tasting, claiming.
When he released me, his eyes gleamed, wild with triumph, joy, and something dangerously close to madness.
When I glanced around, I realized the three women were staring at us. All of them had faint smiles on their faces, like they had just witnessed something divine.
Aleric turned to Gwen. âIâm trusting you with her,â he said, though his tone carried reluctance, as if the act of leaving me was physically painful. Then, with a heavy breath, he dragged his feet backward, his steps slow and unwilling.
The moment he rounded the house, instinct took over. I backed away, my eyes darting between the three werewolves in front of me and the forest behind them, searching for any way out. I could almost feel the earth beneath my feet, calling me to run.
But before I could even shift my weight to sprint, Gwen moved.
She was unnaturally fast. One second I was ready to flee, the next her hand was already clamped around my arm, gripping the exact same place Aleric had held moments ago.
âDonât make this hard on yourself,â she said softly, though her voice carried the weight of warning. âPlease. For you⌠and for us.â
Her eyes softened just a fraction. âWe already love you. None of us wish to be harsh with you. But if you try to run... if you do anything that displeases or upsets our AlphaâŚâ She leaned closer, her tone turning low, final. âWe will step forward.â
Her words sank deep, cold, and sharp. I stared at her, trembling, realizing in that moment what I truly was to them.
I wasnât a guest. I wasnât even a person in their eyes.
I was something their Alpha had claimed.
And my only safety depended on staying useful, on keeping him pleased.
They began to move, silent, and coordinated. One of the younger women walked behind me, while another stayed ahead. They moved in perfect formation, front, back, and side, boxing me in completely.
I realized quickly that this wasnât just an escort. It was containment. They didnât even give me the luxury of space to think of running away. Every direction I could turn, one of them was already there. They were like walls keeping me safe, yes, but for him, not for me.
Gwenâs hand was still firm on my arm. Desperation clawed at my chest, and I grabbed her wrist, holding onto her as if she were my last chance at reason.
âPlease,â I whispered, my voice cracking. âYouâre also a woman⌠you must understand. Please, help me. I donât know what this man wants from me.â
My words stumbled out between breaths, jagged and trembling. âPlease, Iâm just a girl...I came from the city. I didnât mean to disturb anything, I didnât want to come here. I just... I didnât know where I was going.â
Tears slipped freely down my face. I tried not to sob, tried to hold myself together, but my throat was closing. My lips still burned from his kiss, and every time I remembered it, dread knotted inside me again.
Gwen didnât respond. She kept walking, her steps steady, dragging me forward with the ease of someone who didnât need to exert herself. My shoes scuffed against the dirt, half-tripping as I begged again, âPlease⌠you have to help me. Heâs going to kill me. Itâs obviousââ
Her head snapped toward me so fast it startled me into silence. Her eyes blazed with sudden anger. âDo not say that word,â she hissed, her tone trembling with restrained fury. âHe would never harm you. Never.â
I froze, staring at her. It was the same kind of anger Aleric had when I had said something similar to him, an almost sacred outrage, as if the idea itself was sin.
âHe will do everything to please you,â Gwen continued, her voice softening slightly. âAnd you will do everything to please him. That is how it is.â
Her hand tightened on my arm, her strength frightening. She couldâve easily lifted me over her shoulder and walked miles without effort. âYou donât understand whatâs happening,â she said, almost pitying me. âYou stepping into his lands...that wasnât a coincidence. That was the Moon Goddessâs will. You were led here.â
She glanced at me. âDo you realize what a blessing that is? To be chosen for our Alpha? You came from far, from a city of noise and lies, and yet your feet brought you straight to him. The Moon herself guided you to his side.â
I wanted to scream that it wasnât a blessing (that it was a curse), but the words stuck in my throat. Gwen looked so sure, so filled with conviction, that my protests felt small and useless.
âYou should be grateful,â she said quietly, still dragging me along as I cried. âYou should stop this behavior before you offend the Goddess herself.â
I lowered my head. My thoughts spun and blurred, panic and disbelief bleeding together. They werenât going to help me. None of them were.
The sound reached me before the sight did: the soft, rhythmic roar of water spilling from stone.
Under any other circumstance, that sound wouldâve calmed me. Iâd always loved the sound of water, the way it could cleanse the mind, quiet the heart. But now, that same sound only made my chest tighten with grief. The closer we got, the louder it became until the trees parted, and I saw it.
The waterfall was breathtaking. Water poured from a low ridge of rock, cascading into a broad, crystal pool that shimmered beneath the sunlight. Steam curled above the surface, catching the light like soft threads of gold: a natural spring.
The air was heavy with the scent of moss and clean earth. There were pelts on the rocks around it, neatly folded, and baskets filled with fruits and herbs. Everything looked ritualistic, deliberate, as if this place had been waiting for me long before I arrived.
Gwen ushered me forward. One of the younger women knelt beside the baskets, taking some leaves and roots out and started to mash them in a stone cup. Gwen released my arm as the woman at my back reached for the hem of my hoodie. I flinched and caught her wrist.
âWhat are you doing?â I demanded, my voice breaking.
Gwenâs calm eyes lifted to mine, answering instead of her. âThese things you wear are wrong for the body,â she said. âThey hold the dirt of your cities, smoke, oil, sickness. They must be gone before the cleansing.â
âYouâre the one not even wearing clothes,â I shot back, fear sharpening my words.
That earned a faint, amused lift of her brow. âWe are clothed in what is pure,â she replied. âYours are made from... poison.â
Before I could stop her, the woman behind me tugged the fabric, and my protests drowned beneath the sound of the waterfall.
When the hoodie was on the ground, the flimsy t-shirt with rock-and-roll symbols of my favorite singer made Gwen to release a sound in displeasure.
"This is all dark energy. Negative. All poisonous." She tore the remaining cloth in one motion before I could even comprehend.
I stumbled back, clutching at the rags.
âYouâre all insane!â I cried. âLeave me alone!â
I lunged sideways, but a strong arm caught me around the waist. The young she-wolfâs strength was effortless; she pulled me close as if I weighed nothing, my wrists pinned.
Gwen sighed, her tone turning almost maternal. âI warned you not to fight, sweet girl. We could bind you, but it would hurt, and the Alpha would grieve to see you like that.â
Her gentleness terrified me more than her threat. âYouâre all crazy!â I screamed. âIâll call the police! Theyâll come hereââ
Laughter broke from her. Gwenâs smile curved, pitying. âPolice? Even your black metal toys have not signals here. The air itself keeps them away. How your so-called police could know of your location...â
My strength left me at her words. The woman holding me loosened her grip only to tug away the rest of my clothes until I stood shaking in the cool air, left in my panties and bra with my bare feet sinking into the wet soild
I felt smaller than I ever had in my life.
Gwen studied me with an assessing calm, circling once as if she were reading the lines of my body like a prophecy. âYou are different,â she murmured.
I covered myself with shaking hands, but Gwen caught them, lowering them.
âDo not hide,â she said softly. âYou are to be remade, not shamed. The water will know what to do.â
She loosened the bra and it hit the ground, as I cried in humiliation from all their stares on my bare body. I yelped suddenly as Gwen cupped one of my breasts in her hand, brushing her finger over my nipple.
"We only have such full chest when we're with child or nursing. But look at you, sweet girl." Gwen said as weighted my breast in her hand.
I grabbed her wrist, knowing I couldn't even push her away with the strength they had.
"And those wide hips and the softness here..." she touched my stomach and lower back where I had shamefull fat. Something related to the sweets and pizzas I had all the time.
"Youâre ready to carry life inside of you. Youâll become a great breeder for Alpha."
I gasped at her words. Breeder? Was I...
My breath hitched in my throat as I was now fully aware of what Alericâs intentions were for tonight.
"Alpha must be delighted to have a soft mate already full but pure with no men's trace on her." I looked at her with confusion through my teary, scared eyes as Gwen gave me a small smile. "We can smell your virginity, sweet human. Moon Goddess always sends the best to our Alpha. Untouched and soft. For our Alpha to have his ultimate pleasure after so many years of waiting."
When my panties were also put in the pile of my clothes, I tried to hide myself behind my hands, but Gwen swatted on my hands as she looked at my pelvis. Her eyebrows furrowed down at my smooth skin.
âYou have no hair on your body,â Gwen murmured. Her tone had something judgmental beneath it, like she was observing a broken artifact. âWhat did they do to you in those filthy cities?â
I didnât answer. My throat ached from crying; my chest felt hollow. I only looked at her; pleading, silent, shaking.
Gwen clicked her tongue and shook her head. âWe all have hair. Hair is part of nature. It protects, and it connects. It grows for a reason. But youâŚâ She frowned, her eyes roaming over me, ââŚyou have none.â
She grabbed my arm and guided me closer to the water. My steps were shaky, the earth slick beneath my bare feet. The surface of the pond rippled in the sunlight, like a living creature waiting for me to step inside its mouth.
Her hand slid down to my leg, fingers brushing my skin, and she exhaled slowly. âWe will grow your hair back. Donât worry.â Then, as if remembering herself, she added with a faint smile, âOf course, however the Alpha wishes you to be, we will prepare you like that.â
The words made my stomach twist in horror.
The water was warm as I put my feet inside. Gwenâs hand still held my arm firmly, keeping me from falling forward as the pond deepened. The water reached my waist, my ribs, my shoulders... until it came just below my chin. It was deeper than I thought. My heart started to pound.
âPlease,â I whispered, trembling. âI donât know how to swim. I canât...Iâm scared... please, Iâll drownââ
I tried to climb out, clutching at Gwenâs arm, but she pressed both her hands firmly onto my shoulders, pushing me back into the water. âHush, girl,â she said. âNothing will harm you here. We are with you. The water itself will protect you. It is sacred, blessed by the Moon Goddess herself. If it meant you harm and you weren't the true Alphaâs mate, it would have swallowed you already.â
Her voice was too calm as I stared at her in horror. She truly believed what she said.
They all did.
A younger woman knelt by the edge of the pond and filled a wooden bowl, pouring the water slowly over my hair. It ran down my neck, over my shoulders, rippling away into the darkness.
âThis is the sacred water,â she murmured again. âOnly for you and the Alpha. It will bind you to him. The river remembers. It carries the voices of the Moon.â
I stared at her, my lips trembling. âYouâre insane,â I whispered, but she didnât hear or pretended not to.
They guided me to a flat stone barely submerged beneath the surface, perfectly placed as if carved for this very purpose. I sat there, now cold and weak, the water lapping against my shoulders, while Gwen and the women began.
They mashed herbs in a stone bowl, the scent thick and alien, something between mint, metal, roses, and... rot. It stung my nose. They dipped their hands in the mixture and began to rub it into my skin, moving in a slow, deliberate rhythm. Not random washing... no, it was patterned. Circular motions across my shoulders, down my arms, across my chest and legs in water, and then back again.
And as their hands worked, Gwen began to chant.
The words were in no language I recognized; syllables that rose and fell like waves, filled with throaty hums and clicking sounds. The other women joined in, harmonizing their voices, creating a haunting vibration that made the air itself tremble.
The herbs burned wherever they touched my skin, and I whimpered. âPleaseâstopâit hurtsââ
But Gwen only lifted her chin, chanting louder. âPain purifies,â she said between breaths. âPain is the gate through which the Moon sees truth.â
The sound grew. The chanting echoed through the forest, blending with the soft rush of the river and the distant cries of birds. When they began to wash my hair with another concoction, some crushed leaves that foamed faintly under their palms, I could barely breathe. The scent was sharp and earthy.
Gwen raised her hands toward the sky, her eyes closed. âMoon above, see her. Flesh to flesh. Blood to bond. Purify what is foreign, and prepare what is yours for your Alpha.â
They poured water over my head again and again until I couldnât tell if I was crying or drowning. I gasped for air as the water streamed down my face, my soaked long hair clinging to my skin.
âPleaseâplease, I canâtââ I tried to stand, but Gwen pressed me down by the shoulders again, her fingers digging into my skin.
âDo not fight it!â she said sharply. âThe water must accept you! You must let it!â
I thought I might faint then. My body shook uncontrollably; my teeth chattered. The world swam in the waterâs reflection, the sky spinning, Gwenâs face a blur.
It didnât matter how much I pleaded.
It didnât matter how much I cried.
They didnât stop.
Their hands were relentless, scraping the herbs into my skin again and again until I lost count. My skin burned, reddened under their calloused palms. I flinched, tried to twist away, but Gwen only pressed a hand to my shoulder, keeping me still.
And then suddenly, the chanting stopped. Gwenâs voice sliced through the silence.
âLook up.â
Her hand gripped my chin, forcing my face gently upward toward the sky. âLook, sweet girl,â she murmured. âThe Moon has come to see you herself. She is here.â
I followed her gaze, breath trembling in my throat. She was right. I hadnât even realized how the sky had changed while they worked. The horizon had dimmed into deep indigo, the first pale shimmer of the moon rising above the black tree line.
Gwenâs lips curved slightly. âSee? The Moon accepts you. If she didnât, she would hide behind clouds. But she comes... she comes to witness the mating tonight.â
I wanted to scream that the moon rose every night, that it wasnât some divine sign meant for me, that they were all mad: her, Alaric, every single person in this forsaken place. But the words stuck in my throat. They wouldnât have heard me anyway. They were too far gone in their beliefs.
They helped me step out of the water, each gripping one of my arms as my teeth chattered violently in the cold. The air had turned icy since dusk, sharp against my raw skin.
Gwen wrapped a thick piece of fur around me, rubbing it briskly over my arms and back to dry me. âThere,â she said softly, as if to a frightened animal. âThe Moon has cleansed you. You are ready to be dressed.â
One of the women brought her a folded bundle. Gwen unfolded it: a piece of soft leather, sleek and oiled, with ribbons dangling from the back. She wrapped it tightly around my chest, her fingers working the laces as if sheâd done this a thousand times before.
When she pulled the ties, the leather constricted sharply around my ribs. I gasped, trying to squirm free. âStopâplease, itâs too tight!â
She ignored me and kept tightening until I cried out. Only then did she pause, exhaling as if remembering something. Her hand came down gently to my shoulder.
âI forgot,â she said quietly, tapping on my skin. âYou are not like us. You have a⌠soft chest.â
She loosened the ties slightly, then stepped back to examine her work. The garment clung to me like a second skin, cold and alien with my small breasts were making a bulge inside it.
Then came the skirt.
It wasnât like theirs, short and free for running or hunting. Mine was longer, heavier, falling to my mid-calf.
Gwen looked at it with clear disapproval. âWeâll need to make you something new,â she muttered. âThis wonât do. Your frame is too small.â
I shivered uncontrollably, the night wind biting through the leather. My thoughts darted wildly; if I run now, could I make it? The ground was uneven, the forest endless, my feet bare.
Theyâd catch me before I even reached the trees.
Gwen draped a thick wool cloak over my shoulders. It was so heavy that it almost knocked me forward, and she caught my elbow to steady me.
âFor warmth,â she said simply. The fabric smelled of smoke and animal fat. I tried to balance it, pulling it tighter as one of the younger women stepped forward to arrange my hair.
My long, wet strands were pulled forward, divided into sections. Their fingers worked quickly, weaving it into braids: two smaller ones framing my face, and one thick braid trailing down my back. The sensation was oddly intimate, almost tender, and I hated it.
I wanted to tear their heads off.
Gwen returned, holding a small wooden bowl of oil. Its scent was strong and suffocating: sweet at first, then sharp like tobacco. She dipped her fingers into it and began rubbing it along my collarbone, up my throat, across my face. My skin flared, stinging where she touched me.
âPlease,â I whispered, trying to push her hand away. âDonâtâplease, it burnsââ
âStop it.â Her voice snapped like a whip. âThis is good. The Alpha will like it.â
When they were done, one of the women brought a small plate with pieces of fruit arranged carefully, like an offering. Bananas, berries, something that looked like figs.
âYou must eat,â Gwen said. âBut lightly. Your body must not be heavy tonight.â
âTonight?â My voice cracked.
âYou will not fall asleep on the Alpha with a heavy stomach,â she said, as if it were the most natural warning in the world. âYou must serve him as long as he wishes. You can eat properly afterward, with him. But not before.â
The words hit me like a stone in the chest.
My hands trembled as I picked up a piece of banana and bit into it. The sweetness was nauseating. My stomach churned, and my throat tightened. I hadnât eaten properly in almost two days, but now I could barely swallow. My body rejected even this small mercy. I forced myself to take another bite, chewing mechanically, my eyes fixed on the ground.
Gwen watched me with that same unblinking calm. âGood,â she said softly. âYouâll need your strength.â
I wanted to tell her that I didnât want strength, that I wanted to run until my lungs would be torn apart.












