ā are you okay? ā - derek <3
you almost laugh at the question. your foot is bouncing in place, to some rhythm you can't even keep straight. human fingernails press into the palm of your hand, hoping that the claws do not show themselves. you don't really have an answer for him. not one that will make either of you feel better. no one has had to see you like this for months ----- if you suffer in silence long enough you forget what a gentle voice sounds like, you forget what he looks like when he cares about you.
" yeah. " it wouldn't take werewolf hearing to know that you're lying, you're not sure most werewolves would be able to tell just from your heartbeat due to how fast it's racing.
" i don't know how you stay here. " the sentence slips out before you can stop it, quiet and under your breath but you know he can hear it. you wish you'd stopped it, because it's cruel, and it feels like a dig but it's not. it's shock, maybe. you swear it still smells like them somehow. it's been so long but the scent still lingers enough for you to notice, or you're imaging it. you wouldn't put it past your brain to torture you like that.
being back here is hard, and it aches but you had to come back. you had to figure out what was wrong. but now you're here again, and you can see the place on the couch erica used to sit, and where boyd used to read, and where the small pile of jackets used to be. but you can also see where boyd died, or where you sat when peter dug into your memories to try and find erica only to find out she was in a closet, dead. these walls are haunted and yet he stays. derek stays.
" just a nightmare. " it says almost nothing but everything all at once. you know he'll understand. you take a shaky breath, chewing hard on your bottom lip till it stings before turning to look at him. god, what a sight you must be. older now, but still as terrified as the day he found you in that grave. " did i wake you? "