#wereorc

Back when you were first dating, there’d been some silliness when your date had miscalculated his transformation and had turned into an orc partway through a date, but things had worked out. A few years later, he was your husband, and you couldn’t be happier. 

“So, we’re gonna go to the snow then.” You said. “We’ll find you a snowsuit somehow. I’m sure they come in hulk size, and we’ll drag the surfer boy to the mountains to play in the snow.” 

“Alright babe.” He said. “I know a witch who can probably enchant something human sized to fit.”

“A witch?” You asked. 

He actually paused the game at that, and turned to stare at you in disbelief. 

“You’re married to a were-orc, and you don’t believe in witches?” 

“That’s not what I said,” you huffed, not appreciating that it felt like he was making fun of you. You crossed your arms and looked away. “Just because one is real doesn’t mean the rest are, anyway.” 

He hopped over the couch and scooped you up, nuzzling at your neck. 

“Aww babe. It’s okay. I just think it’s cute.” The kisses continued as he dragged you back to his nest on the couch. “Come snuggle for a while. Tomorrow we’ll plan that vacation you want, and we’ll go somewhere snowy.” 

You curled up against him, and he wrapped his big arms around you and went back to fighting his virtual enemies. Occasionally you commented on things he hadn’t noticed yet, and the two of you passed a cozy evening that way. 

The next morning, Brad surprised you with plans that he had figured out for a vacation into the snowy mountains. Normally you did most of the vacation planning, but he’d really stepped up this time. You squinted at it suspiciously. He laughed. 

“You seemed excited, so I wanted to help you make it happen,” He said. “We still need to figure out snow gear, but I have a buddy with a house up that way that we can use for free.” 

“Oh. Really? That’s great.” You grabbed a notebook and started making a list of what still needed doing. There wasn’t much. He’d figured out when and where, and even found a shop with gear for rent so you didn’t have to buy everything for one trip. 

By the time the vacation came around, the two of you were well and truly ready. The excitement had you practically bouncing around as Brad– in his orc form thanks to the full moon– loaded up the car for the trip into the mountains. Rented snowboards and sleds, along with all the gear you’d need to survive a week in the mountains were packed into and onto the SUV. 

You rounded up the snacks, and finally climbed into the car only forty-five minutes later than you’d intended to leave. Brad smiled, and put on a podcast you both enjoyed, and soon it was road trip time. You snacked, you laughed at the jokes on the podcast, you ate more snacks, you stopped for gas and a pee break, you backtracked because someone (you) couldn’t read the map and GPS on your phone wasn’t working right. You snacked some more. 

And after a few hours in the car, and a really rather fun day, all things considered, you were in the mountains, surrounded by snow. Brad grinned at you, and hopped out of the car, his breath making visible clouds in the cold air. 

“You stay in the car where it’s warm. I’m gonna go get a fire started inside.” He declared. You nodded, and watched him walk away. The view from this angle sure was lovely. His human form was unassuming; he wasn’t ripped; he was a bit squishy, and you rather liked it. His orc form, with the seeming miles of green skin and rippling muscle was a change of pace that kept things interesting. Both of them had cute butts. 

As soon as he was out of sight, you made a dive for the back seat, grabbing some mittens and a coat. You hauled both on, and got out of the car, looking for a good spot to hide. Once you found it, you got to work, making a small heap of snowballs. 

When your husband returned to the car, it didn’t take him more than a second to notice your absence. As soon as he did, you were ready. You sent the first volley arcing through the air at him, splattering ice and snow across his feet. 

“Hey!” He shouted, torn between amusement and indignation. “Stop that you brat!” 

“Make me!” You said, launching another. 

He laughed, and ran at you. Quickly, you threw a succession, the balls of snow not fazing him in the slightest as he charged. You shrieked and ran. So he changed tactics, scooping up a huge armful of snow, and packing it into the biggest “snowball” you’d seen in your life. 

“No! Don’t you dare throw that snowba-” he threw it. It landed with a thud at your feet, but the splash damage was intense. “Goddamn it.” You laughed. “Okay. Truce. I’ll teach you how to do this properly tomorrow.” 

“I dunno,” The were-orc said. “I think I did just fine.” He pulled you close and kissed you. “I had the biggest snowball and I got the girl.” 

“Nerd.” You said, and shoved him into a snowdrift. 

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