#weird night

So first of all, it's fucking midnight, and there's thunder so damn loud it's shaking the house. Not even my house, my grandmas old ass cabin. I can't fall asleep, and I can't even lay on my right side because of my new piercing. I get bored, and get up to look outside because the wind is LOUD.

I cannot see SHIT because it's dark and such, and when I try to focus my eyes BOOM my sleep paralysis demon Peek jumpscares me for the first time in like 6 months.

It scared the shit out of me, so I go back to bed. Then a tall paper white creature scuttles across the floor on all fours :D YUP YOU HEARD ME.

Safe to say I got like no sleep.

I did however have a dream in the short amount of sleep I did get where Alastor owned his own motel but nobody liked it so he had no money and lived in an apartment with neighbors that doordashed shit every five minutes so he got super depressed and killed himself.

Series: Pain Share

Grief_E8842

Half the night I was up I was thinking about my roleplay characters and the other half I was thinking about the US empire, and about society and how it conditions us not to care about people who aren’t us or in our little circle, but also conditions us not to actually care about ourselves, about our mental or emotional wellbeing and to feel selfish or childish when we do, but to instead only care for a shell of ourselves, the one that conforms to a capitalist, white supremacist, patriarchal way of life, the one that breaks down every single day and refuses to acknowledge it, so we stay trapped in this fucked up, heartless version of ourselves that can’t find it in us to care about other people because caring about other people would mean we valued human life and we’re taught not even to value our own lives and instead just taught to work in the system until we break down completely and die.

NO. BECUASE. right back at u!!!!!! u are the best of the best i love u 🥺❤️