#weird compliments

I was on a bench near the stage waiting for my turn to sing (I chose Backstreet's Back, just so you know), and there's this girl next to me, standing on the bench dancing to the previous song.

I look back at her for like, two seconds, and almost immediately her boyfriend comes over. He puts his hand on my shoulder and says "hey you," and it's immediately obvious from the way that he says it that he's SUPER drunk, so I'm immediately shitting myself because I think this dude's gonna get physical with me for looking at his girl or something.

Instead, he leans in real close and says "yo you're tall, you're clean-shaven, you got the long hair, you look perfect, you're like the emo dreamboy, you know that, right?"

And I'm so baffled by this turn of events that I can only say "... thank you?"

Then he just goes over to his girlfriend and doesn't acknowledge me the rest of the night.

I'll go first: someone once told me I had really small hands, like "Burger King hands"