ate like a billion cals today... its like I dont even want to be skinny

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ate like a billion cals today... its like I dont even want to be skinny

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April Goal: 20 p0unds down. No excuses. No settling. No fuçkųps.
No kind of affection will ever feel as good as watching your body wilt into nothing
what am i supposed to do?
In the past 4 days I've been doing alright with ANA, but there are a few problems that I have stumbled upon.
So, I started by starving for 42 hours, but I couldn't make it to 48, because I felt like I might faint if I move even a little. I had to lay down to sleep, but when I woke up, it didn't get better, if not worse. I decided to try again, after binging after that - I ate around 800 kcals so I don't faint. I tried to make myself throw up, but I couldn't.
After that, I didn't eat for another 40 hours, but then the fatigue hit me again, and I felt unbearably cold, dizzy, and so weak I couldn't stand without almost throwing up - so I decided to eat. I ate a small bowl of pasta and chicken, it must've been around 150 kcals, then I ate a protein pudding with 87 kcals. I felt like binging so I ate some chocolate worth of like 400 kcals, but I didn't swallow them. I spit all of them in the toilet, then I didn't swallow until I brushed my teeth right after.
Do y'all think that I have absorbed any calories from the chocolate? I feel so bad, bloated, and like I failed. Please, somebody helppp meee!! How many calories should I burn today, blablabla, I need some help from people who are more experienced with ana.
Hey i need wl moots because im weak alone 😔, im 16 my cw is 80kg (ik,disgusting) and my gw is 40kg (long way to go) i need help princess

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hej hej! to moj pierwszy post na tym koncie wiec chcialabym zebysmy sie poznali
mam na imie felicja a to niestety moje juz chyba czwarte konto na tumblerze :( poprzednie konta zostaly usuniete wiec odrazu na starcie chcialabym zaznaczyc ze nie kazdemu spodoba sie to co bedzie tu postowane, zdaje sobie sprawe ze jest to trudny i nieprzyjemny dla wielu temat wiec bardzo prosilabym o blokowanie mnie a nie zglaszanie, mam napisane to rowniez w bio wiec zyje nadzieja ze to konto zostanie
w anie siedze od 11rz a na tumblerze chyba dopiero cztery, nie jest to tak duzo ale mysle ze to ile czasu potrafie tu spedzic tez robi swoje. moje konto bedzie w pewnym rodzaju „pamietnikiem" przynajmniej teraz tak mysle ale wiadomo ze z czasem wszystko moze sie zmienic. jesli potrzebowalibyscie pomocy, rozmowy lub czegokolwiek to nie bojcie sie napisac, naprawde nie oceniam bo sama bardzo sie tego boje.
jestem tez zalozycielka dwoch grupek motylkowych na messengerze z ktorych bylam bardzo dumna (nadal jestem, teraz pp grupki sa mniej aktywne) i swoja droga myslalam czy nie zalozyc kolejnej ale zobaczymy jeszcze jakie zasiegi beda na tym koncie i czy uda mi sie zebrac jakas grupe zainteresowanych
jak juz mowilam od 11rz w tym wszystkim siedze ale bedac kompletnie szczera to przybralam na wadze i to wcale nie malo, bardzo chcialam napisac wam moja wage aktualna, ile przytylam, szczerze to myslalam ze moze dostane jakies komentarze i sie wezme za siebie ale nir jestem w stanie. czuje tak okropny wstyd ze nie moge. mam 173 wzrostu a moje ugw to 48kg BARDZOO chcialabym osiagnac to do konca roku ale czy sie uda to przekonacie sie razem ze mna (i hope so)
z checia poznam was i wasze historie w komentarzach wiec piszcie! buziaki:**
all from anaismyreligion website <3
moots??
hi gang i’m 17 rn and my cw is 75kg (gross)… my gw is 50 but i am weak as hell and need others around me, anyone willing?