#weightstruggles

I love, but hate watching old videos of me from the year 2022.

I was thriving... Until I wasn't.

I was comfortable in my body... Until I wasn't.

I miss her.

I miss me.

The old me.

The confident me.

Will that ever be me again?...

Will I ever feel like that again?...

Will I ever feel... pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, and comfortable again?...

Who knows...

But pretty I don't think I am anymore...

Why don't we get warned that once we hit adulthood our bodies will change?

We're so use to growing up being a certain size, having a certain figure, and seeing ourselves a certain way.

But we aren't warned about the side effect that stress, anxiety, depression, medication, and hormones can do to our bodies and self esteem as we age.

I am tired of dealing with the constant weight fluctuation.

Feeling like I'm loosing weight one minute, but then realizing I actually gained...

I am tired of saying...

"This will be the day I get my shit together." "This will be the day I start my fitness journey." "This will be the day I start eating healthy."

I am tired of feeling insecure and feeling useless, fat, and ugly the minute I notice the minor imperfections.

I'm tired of feeling like I have to change the minute I bloat in a crop top.

I know I shouldn't feel this way but... I wish I was the skinny slim girl I once was...

Some see me slim and perfect, but I can't seem to see me that way.

...I wish I did

All I see is a girl that went from being 100lbs to 165 lbs to 155 lbs and the constant up and down continues...