He tried, Alec really did, and for a minute, it seemed like he would be able to grant Jace’s wish from before. Death, the one thing the archer had been to selfish to grant Jace before. He wanted to make it right, wanted to make sure that his parabatai wouldn’t feel the pain of taking anymore lives, even if it meant dealing with a missing piece of himself.
He tried - he failed. The owl was strong, of course he was and all it took was one wrong move for the demon to take control of the fight. When the bones snapped in his hand, knocked the air out of his lungs, Alec knew the fight was over. He had struggled with both hands operational. He wouldn’t survive with one only. It didn’t bother him to die. Shadowhunters were raised with the idea that each mission could be their last, prepared to lay their lives down for the cause. But not like this. He didn’t want to die by the hand of his brother, didn’t want yet another death, his death on his parabatai’s conscious.
Alec fought, on his back with what little strength he had left to keep the tip of that arrow away from his body. But he couldn’t, of course he couldn’t. It was futile, but he couldn’t just let death come to him willingly. “Jace, I know you’re in there.” The arrow came closer and he could feel his strength failing. “I love you, I forgive you.” He cried out as the felt the metal pierce through flesh and muscle. “I’m sorry, Jace. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.” He felt tears prickle at his eyes, didn’t know if they were because of the pain from the arrow, or because he failed his brother. “Jace, I’m so sorry.”