#week10

AU idea where everyone died except for Tech. The cracked mirror over his image references the clone superstition that being the only survivor of your squad means you're back luck.

Inspiration from this quote from TBB Sanctuary (spoilers): "When you're the only surviving member of your team, others aren't often welcoming. They consider you bad luck." (page 143)

Crosshair gets shot.

Crosshair jumps off a cliff, trying to land on a smaller one below. He misses.

Crosshair gets stabbed.

Crosshair is crushed by falling containers.

Crosshair stands too close to an explosion. He blows up.

Crosshair is surprised in his gunner's nest. He doesn't make it.

Crosshair's other hand gets cut off.

Crosshair lying on the floor, lifeless.

Crosshair gets tortured, his wailing a sound you'll never forget.

Crosshair, smeared with blood. His own blood.

Crosshair, slumped in a corner, unmoving.

Crosshair, dead.

Dead. He's dead. He's dead and he won't come back again. Not ever.

You'll be alone with all those horrors in your memories. You'll never be happy and careless again without him.

You're the one who is tortured. Who falls off the cliff. Stabbed. On fire. Dead.

Dread fills you, pain everywhere. In every fiber of your body. It hurts- it hurts so much- and you're alone. All alone.

You wake up, screaming.

It's dark, the air too hot. You're sweating and shaking at the same time. Your lungs scream for air, you're breathless.

Where are- Where are you? It's dark. Too dark, you can't see a thing.

Outside there's some noise, it sounds like a broke radio: all you hear is an unsettling kshhh that comes in waves, but it's not as aggressive as you remember it.

It's hot. So hot, that your hair stick to your face and your bed feels disgustingly wet.

Suddenly, there's a scream.

No, not a scream - a bird. A bird that twitters this weird melody. You know that melody from... from... home.

It's your neighbor's bird. At this unholy hour.

You swallow, start to reach around.

Wood, something soft, and then metal. You tap the metal, and it gets brighter in your room.

Your room. With the yellow walls, the wooden furniture and the many photos and paintings on the wall.

You're at home.

At home.

You take another shaking breath.

It was just - just a nightmare.

But you're still unsettled.

Crosshair- he was dead, killed in too many different situations.

You swallow, your throat feels dry, and you reach for your glass of water on the nightstand.

You empty the glass.

It calms you down a bit.

But you're still shaking, so badly.

You know it was just some stupid nightmare, but - but you just couldn't calm down completely.

Is he fine?

Yeah, of course he is. He's just two rooms over, probably sleeping like a baby. Without any nightmares.

But, what if not?

Before you think twice about it, you're up and sneaking through the dark halls and only stop in front of his room.

Quietly, you knock and after getting a sleepy "what", you open the door quietly.

It creaks, and makes you jump.

"Sorry- I- I just- are you okay?" you ask him.

His room isn't as dark as yours - his curtains are open and a silver ray of moonshine lights up the small room.

He looks at you from his bed, buried beneath his blanket.

"Yeah, of course I'm okay. It's in the middle of the night, what did you expect?" he asks, not amused by you waking him up. You know how much he appreciates his sleep and at the same time he's just right - of course he's okay. It's in the middle of the night.

"Oh- I- s-sorry," you stammer and try to walk out backwards again, your eyes on his.

He looks at you contemplating, sitting up after a second.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asks after a few seconds. Your hands were still shaking, and you are still just about to cry.

"Yeah- yeah I just- I had a nightmare, and you died and- I was alone and- Just wanted to make sure you're still here and okay," you stumble over your words, and you see how Crosshairs face softens.

"Yeah I'm fine. I- are you?" he says, and you could hear worry in his tone.

You swallow and try to say yes, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You're still scared shitless, and agitated. Nothing was fine.

Crosshair seems to notice as much.

"Do you want to talk? Come here, you can... Do you want to sleep here?" He then proposes and your breath hitches.

You know you like him a lot. Like a lot a lot. And sometimes you feel like he likes you too. In the same way, you like him. But then again - none of you never took it a step further. You are just friends that could be with each other a lot. It felt like the two of you were too shy to do anything about it. But this time, it feels like he just made such a big step at once. And you are ready to take him by the hand and walk that step with him.

Of course, he still could just mean it in a friendly way - but he didn't need to ask you if you wanted to stay the night.

He could just have asked you to talk to him and then send you off again.

But sleeping in his bed feels... intimate. It is special. And it definitely isn't something you'd do with just a friend. Not in Crosshair's world, at least. And not in yours, either.

You know that. And he knows it, too.

With a head full of thoughts, you almost forget to answer. Only when Crosshair's voice sounds across the room again, you remember that he indeed asked you to talk with him, and to be with him tonight.

But Crosshair's words are not what you expect: "Forget I asked," he says after a few minutes of just silence.

You swallow. "No- I- you'd want that? I- of course I want to," you whisper and take a step closer.

Crosshair just looks at you.

"If your offer still stands..." you add.

Crosshair takes a few moments, in which you fear he already changed his mind and instead of getting a step forward, you just took three steps back, but then he nods a single time.

You come closer and carefully sit next to him.

He lifts his blanket and lets you slip under, close to him.

You feel his warmth, his body. His chest raises with every breath he takes, and suddenly you're just so close.

"You just... died. So many times," you whisper and start to tell him about your disturbing nightmare. You feel how tears well up in your eyes again, but you pull yourself together and stop yourself from crying. He's fine.

Crosshair listens, and nods. When you finish, he's quiet for a few seconds.

"I- don't know what-" he begins to say, hesitating. Then he sighs quietly.

"I'm not the best at comforting others," he admits quietly. "But... Wrecker really appreciates hugs," he then says. You see some insecurity in his eyes, and you soon realize it's because he doesn't want to hurt you or say the wrong things. So instead, he just asks: "Do you want a hug, too?"

A small smile appears on your lips.

"If you're okay with that, I'd love to," you whisper back. You're not sure if you see it right, since it's dark and his face is just lit by the moonlight, but for a second you think his face becomes a little peachy.

"Wouldn't offer if I wasn't," he says and carefully lays an arm around you.

You sigh quietly, embracing him and his warmth, and put an arm across his stomach, too.

Together, you slide down and you nestle your head on his shoulder, drawing small circles around his stomach.

Even though the night started in such a horrible way, it's easy to find an upside about it all. You and Crosshair were far away from talking about your feelings for each other, and you sure as hell have a long road in front of you. But you were pretty sure you just took a big step on this road, and you are ready to gear up and take some more.

You fall asleep just moments later.

This time, you don't have any nightmares or other disturbances, and for the first time in a long, long time you feel well rested when you wake up. Still in Crosshair's arms.