#week whatever

today in art: miscellaneous things from around the school, but drawn with extra *cHaRaCtEr*

I think technically speaking the assignment was to draw the locations in the way that tells a story, or shows the essence of the room, but I was in a weird mood today so I just... did whatever, I guess. Have an evil elevator.

About a month later and I finally have another post. It’s interesting though because I still feel like I have no motivation but here we are. I haven’t taken my medication consistently so I really don’t know where this motivation is coming from. Nonetheless, we are here so let’s get into it!

I start school tomorrow and I’m most definitely not prepared for it. It’ll be my senior year which is a thought I’m not yet use to. Not only that but I’m actually really scared to start the year, almost as scared as starting my first year of high school. Either way, the year is starting soon and I will go through it regardless.

I just got back from California a few days ago as I went to KCON:LA. Though it had been a blast and such an amazing experience, it has completely drained me and exhausted me mentally. On the good side, I was able to see SEVENTEEN, MAMAMOO, AB6IX and so many others perform. I would be lying if I said I didn’t cry. To witness Lee Dae Hwi and Chwe Hansol perform with my two eyes was a blessing and I wish I could go back and rewatch it. I’m beyond pleased and proud of everybody who performed and gave it their absolute best for themselves and fans. Thank you KCON:LA for granting me so much happiness. Whilst in LA I did meet this one guy. An absolute sweetheart he is, as well as a cutie. I wish I got to talk to him more but his jacket was more than enough.

I’m attending a wedding this weekend and though it stresses me out, I’m excited to dress up in traditional clothing as well as dancing my heart out. I don’t get along with my family well so it’ll be an interesting interaction and quite honestly, a lot of negativity. It’s been awhile since they’ve last commented on my appearance and everything bad about me. 

With the weather being inconsistent, I change my room constantly. Whether it be my posters or shelf, my room is in constant construction as I’m always unsatisfied. Not only that but as I create more art pieces, I no longer have room to hang things up. These past few months, I regained my passion for art and warmed up to other mediums. I’ve always used watercolor and acrylic paint but recently I’ve been using brush pens. Though i’m not fully familiar with brush pens, I’m excited to see my growth. 

I personally have been having a really rough time. I’m starting to distant myself from reality and it’s been tough. I’m at a point where I’m starting to feel insignificant and that everything is a facade. I question things like my friendships and relationships, wondering if they’re really worth it. I’m doubting myself and everything I’ve created and worked hard to keep.

I overwhelm myself with my thoughts at times. My romantic feelings have been a jumbled mess for the past year and lately I’ve been pushing it to the side. I attempt to clear my mind by writing songs and poetry but I end up writing about the same person though I know I have no feelings for them. I overthink too much and I know that. It frustrates me when he tells me things about other girls, am I jealous? Do I genuinely like him? These are the things I think about constantly but soon, I get so exhausted and just isolate myself so I no longer need to face reality.

That’s always been a problem of mine. I’m isolate myself too quickly. Whenever the slightest thing goes wrong, I resort to keeping to myself and refuse any sort of help. In all honesty, I just ask for validation and reassurance, just comfort that I’m still human. It’s a game of tug-a-war between myself that I’ll never win. Most times I think I’m asking for too much but at others, I feel so small and think any sort of validation would be enough. 

Maybe I can keep it all to myself just a little longer. 

oKay brokenbroken hours are approaching so i’m signing off before it gets too depressing, goodnight~

To start out we started brainstorming ideas about he aesthetic and practicalities of levitating Belfast indefinitely and what kind of things would we have to consider to keep the situation sustainable.

This involved looking up statistics about Belfast such as the carbon footprint of the city’s daily function, the population and the government mandated facilities such as schooling and hospital services.  

Population of Belfast City (According to Wolfram Alpha) 281000

33ft above sea level (pre-floating)

220 schools registered in the district

2 Universities (UUB and QUB)