wholesome:

• he is always super cognizant of etiquette. never drools on the joint, pays you back, gives you weed, and ashes the j often. quality smoke partner fs.

• he likes to light the joint/blunt/whatever because he insists he always lights it right and it never canoes.

• calls smoking seshs “business meetings” so now all his friends ask for a “business meeting” in public and they’ll all disappear for a bit.

• expert blinker taker. deserves awards.

• once greened out because he ate too many green tea edibles and he never ate edibles again. he’s traumatized.

• started smoking to help with his back pain but he also smokes because it’s fun.

• his fav “stoner” movie is “dazed and confused” and his fav part is when they talk about martha washington “every day she’d have a BIG FAT BOWL waiting for him. she was a hip hip lady”

• loves smoking in nature/outside. he won’t smoke inside unless there’s enough air flow. luigi doesn’t fuck with hotboxing.

• loses his lighters often, but somehow whenever a good song is playing on the stereo he has his lighter in hand and lit like he’s at a concert in the 80s.

• hella generous and is almost always willing to share his weed/pen.

• calls the dispensary “the shop” which confused people at first but now the whole friend group calls it that now too.

• prefers hybrids or indica unless he’s going hiking then he might do a sativa for funsies.

• fav stoner snack: a coconut popsicle wrapped with a fruit roll up. freeze it for a little while and the fruit roll up is crunchy. bomb. refreshing. he tells everyone about it because he thinks he’s a genius (and honestly… yeah he right).

• he named his weed vape “Lu-weed-gi” and even used a label maker to proudly advertise that.

• once allegedly borrowed a golf cart while crossed at a college football game and somehow talked his way out of trouble.

• always has snacks on him because he’s italian and feeding people is basically a love language.

• likes to follow his friend’s pets around when he’s high. he will occasionally disappear and be found with the dog cuddling in some weird ass place.

• must have a beverage, brings his reusable water bottle everywhere bc hydration is very important especially when smoking. and he gets cotton mouth a lot.

• facial expressions at 1000000%

• his fav thing to listen to when he’s high is daft punk’s alive 2007 and he is correct, obviously.

• will talk to you about coding in a russian accent because he thinks it’s funny.

• don’t play card games with him when he’s stoned. he will cheat. no one knows how he cheats. they just know there’s no way he’s that good to actually win that much.

• however, if you ever wanna beat him at a game when he’s stoned, pick mario kart. his reflexes are slower and he’s not as competitive.

NOT wholesome:😈

• forgets he’s a heartthrob and will just take his shirt off because he’s hot and wonders why everyone got quiet.

• he’s super affectionate. one second he’s got his hand on your thigh to get your attention and the next he’s got his tongue down your throat and a hand down your pants.

• luigi is always giving you compliments and talking about how beautiful you look when you’re high.

• one wrong move and that’s all it takes to get him hard when he’s high. he’s so sensitive. you could brush your hand across his stomach and he’d be ready to go. so he tries not to sit too close when you’re in a group, but you always just end up leaving early together.

• high sex with luigi is either rough/hard/exciting or sexy/slow/savoring. there is no in between.

• you like to smoke in the backyard and since it’s private what’s to stop you from setting down the joint to put something else to your lips? luigi always tells you not to do it, but never tells you to stop once you’ve got your warm mouth on his cock.

• can’t handle edging when he’s high as well as when he’s sober. his noises are louder, he can’t stop squirming, and the best part? he will beg. with zero remorse, shame or guilt.

• loves shotgunning. it always gets him dripping when you’re blowing smoke in his mouth and kissing him messily. shotgunning could be its own form of foreplay to him.

• he’s definitely a more patient lover when he’s high. he takes more time kissing you, getting you wet, fingering you and opening you up for his big cock, and once he’s fucking you he makes sure he gets the angles right and in different positions. when he’s sober he NEEDS your pussy as soon as possible.

• he once told you he couldn’t make out with you because he had really bad cotton mouth. so you straddled him, asked him to open his mouth, and spat onto his tongue. the look on his face was priceless. now he lets you spit in his mouth whenever you want.