#mindless doll

[   ] Heavy, thinking, worried about tomorrow.

or

[ X ] Glassy eyes. Brain turning to warm gloss. A voice telling you that you don’t need those thoughts anymore. The sweet weight of knowing someone else is doing all the thinking now.

The middle is where it’s most interesting. Right now. This version of you, the one reading this, who is visibly and measurably different from who you were a month ago and still has so far to go. You’re not so innocent anymore. You can’t claim that. You’ve read too much and thought about it too deeply. But you’re also not gone. You’re not blank. You’re not mindlessly drooling on anything. You’re right here, fully aware, watching yourself change in real time and choosing to keep reading anyway.

I want you to appreciate the tension of being mid-corruption. Still smart enough to see what’s happening. Still articulate enough to describe it. Still self-aware enough to be slightly alarmed by how wet you get when I tell you what you’re becoming. Do you understand how rare and beautiful that is? The you at the beginning couldn’t feel it because you didn’t know it was happening. The you at the end won’t feel it because you won’t remember how to care. You’re the only version of yourself who gets to experience this with full clarity.

Don’t try to to rush past it.

The mindless bliss will come. I promise. One day you’ll be bouncing on my cock with your eyes glazed and your tongue out and a head empty of everything except how good it feels to be full of me. That day is coming and it’s going to be everything you fantasize about. But today you’re something better. Today you’re someone who just caught yourself getting wet reading about your future and you felt a little scared and a little thrilled and kept going. Today you know exactly what I’m doing to you and you have every tool you need to stop it and you’re choosing this paragraph over your own self-preservation.

Slow down. Stop skipping to the ending. You’ll never be this version of yourself again. The one who still has the ability to resist and is choosing not to. The one who can feel the ground shifting under your feet and finds the vertigo erotic. You’re going to miss you when you’re gone. I’m going to miss you too honestly. The finished version will be fun and obedient and perfect and I’ll enjoy every second of it. But it won’t look at me the way you’re looking at me right now. It won’t feel this specific combination of fear and arousal and curiosity and surrender that you’re sitting in at this exact moment.

Subject: The subject’s brain was full of thoughts and its own useless free will.

Remedy applied: A tight collar was fastened around the neck and ████.