#webjournal

JeanLewisCade

I am not sure why I always feel like something is wrong. Why when someone tells you there is nothing wrong and they are okay, but all you feel is negative energy. 

Feels like I skipped a few steps of understanding emotions and myself. Understanding what a strong person is, but not seeing that person in myself. Trying to find myself while trying to establish strong relationship with my partner. 

Is that engery call anxitey? What made me feel disconnected in the first place? WHY DO I FEEL I TOOK A SHORT CUT IN LIFE. Did I learn how to care for others before myself - or do I just care too much for others? 

AM I a people pleaser that tells people about themselves -- AM I a people pleaser period? AM I just a scared little bitch who needs to learn to speak up for herself. 

Personally, I think if I know how to speak up for myself with out thinking someone is going to take it the wrong way I wouldn be a bitch but because I dont I am. I NEED the confidence - but I dont know how to get the cofidence. 

How do you tell someone something with out being rude or disrespectful? What if I dont want to be a nice person anymore? 

I haven’t posted in a while even though many cool things and ups and downs have happened.... I forget in the cool parts or say I’ll do it later, and then during the downs feel self-conscious because I forgot to post the cool things, too, and don’t want to be negative~! Plus I feel like, ehhh maybe this isn’t worth posting about... I realized again today, it doesn’t matter. I should start posting whatever I want again... So... Hello again~!