ok final reflections on the event. The first part turned into a reflection on consent practices in west coast swing as well.
I’ve been dancing on and off for around 6 years. there’s a big range of the demographics who dance WCS, and I am a polarizing figure. Queer people, people who switch, and men who follow love me. However, there is a small percentage of straight women who hate it when I touch them, because I’m gender nonconforming. I wish that these people would say no when I asked them to dance!! if you are radiating discomfort, I also don’t want to be there! It’s psychologically fraying to dance with someone who is scared of me, and it’s scary to know that someone who doesn’t want to dance with me will say yes anyways.
However, I’m not entirely unsympathetic, because the middle of a dance or workshop is a pretty difficult place for a follow to dip out if they get uncomfortable.
This is to say: WCS has insufficient consent mores.
Jesse Lopez and Ariel Peck are hands down my favorite pros to get a lesson from because they start out every workshop with a five minute talk about asking your partner to dance every time and practicing saying no. I don’t think I’ve been to any other lesson where people were explicitly given permission to decline a partner in the rotation. Usually, the fact that you are attending is taken as blanket consent. And the fact that you agreed to dance with someone on the floor is taken as blanket consent to however they want to dance with you. That sucks, for all parties involved, for reasons discussed above.
Ok, anyways. Other thoughts:
- There are two types of people who say “oh haha I can switch but I’m bad at it” on the floor: people who are being honest, and it works better for everyone if I take their secondary role, and people who are lyyyyyyying!!! It’s always a little embarrassing (but nice!) when someone is both a better lead and a better follow than I am.
- A dancer referred to follows as “when she does this” and the instructor corrected him to “they.” Very cool much appreciated :)
- the ratio of pros to normies in the queer reception ballroom was way higher than in the main ballroom. And that’s gay privilege
- an element of being a pro that must suck is losing the same kind of access and anonymity on the social dance floor that normies have.
- I do miss my Midwest dance friends. It’s nice to have a built in group of people I know and can dance with. I have a limitation on the amount I’m able to initiate dances with strangers: see Friday night’s 4am emotional crashout
- I do really value eye contact on the dance floor actually! You obviously can’t and shouldn’t make eye contact 100% of the time, but good eye contact is part of what feeds connection and makes the dance feel good
- I’m a better dancer than I ever have been before, but I’m in a phase where my observation powers are higher than my ability. I’m noticing all the ways I can improve. When I follow I outsource too much of my footwork to the lead. There are a couple of moves that I consistently miss the lead on. When I lead I have a difficult time offering shaped space in the dance for a follow to contribute an idea, the spaces are too wide open. I’m definitely faking my way through stylistic footwork. I’m not comfortable with blues styling. Items to follow up on later.
- pleasantly, my knees are a bit sore but way less fucked than they usually are! I assume this has to do with improving my technique
- ough being awake until 8 am majorly fucks with my head. I wish I could take tomorrow off work
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Ok I forgive the event organizers. For night 2 they got a DJ doing a live, continuous remix and it fucks severely. I’ve had ten good dances in a row. Thank u jazz and blues and swing with a sick ass bass line for my life
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