Advice for Remy, Day 191. Don’t be suckered in by people who tell you to stay calm when wasps buzz around you. Just run. . I am not a fan of wasps. In fact I bloody hate them. And if there’s one thing I hate more than wasps it’s when people say to you ‘just stay still, they won’t harm you’. Well that’s all well and good, but firstly, no, absolutely not. And secondly, rubbish - they will. And thirdly, do you honestly think, Margaret, that I have any control over my flailing extremities right now? Do you think I’m planning these movements with my limbs? My arms and legs and body and face and internal organs are all terrified of wasps and, when they see them, all try and move in opposite directions of their own free will. I’m not in control at all at this point. Well imagine my delight when we found a suspiciously large amount of wasp activity outside the front door. Further investigation revealed that they were entering and exiting the porch canopy via a large hole left by the removal of an old light last year, which I’d been too lazy to fill in. They were coming and going at a rate of many every second, so this was no passing swarm. Well, tough times called for tough actions. Like the alpha male I am, I emptied a can and a half of wasp killer towards the hole through a crack in the front door, cowering every time one came towards me. Some hours later when all was quiet, we tentatively poked a camera in and found this hideous monstrosity - a beautifully terrifying wasps nest the size of a large football. My toes are still firmly curled and I’m not entirely sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight. But at least now we know. So tomorrow’s plan is to burn the house down and start again. I’m sure everyone will agree that’s a reasonable and measured course of action.