#wanda angst

You built the campsite together—tent pitched, fire crackling, a circle of rocks to sit on. You laughed when the tent pole snapped back at you, her calloused hands guiding yours with patient amusement. That first night, you leaned into each other beneath a sky impossibly clear, stars sharp against the dark. The firelight warmed your faces while smoke lingered faintly in the air, and for a while neither of you spoke, afraid to disturb something perfect.

Eventually, Wanda shifted, her voice rough from silence. “Hey, we should probably put the fire out and get some sleep.”

You hummed, peeling yourself from her warmth reluctantly while she doused the flames, fatigue softening her features. Crickets hummed in the background as you both crawled into the tent, zipped inside your sleeping bags with blankets thrown over top, legs tangled together, breathing slow and even.

Then she sighed. “I need to pee.”

You tugged your jacket closer as she unzipped the tent. “Be careful.”

She smiled, leaning in to kiss you briefly. “I always am. I’m not going far. I could go right next to the tent, but I don’t think you want to smell that.”

“God, Wanda. Just go.”

She laughed. “I’m trying. You’re the one saying be careful and shit.”

Her footsteps faded, leaves and sticks crunching softer and softer until the wind swallowed the sound entirely. The warmth beside you thinned with every passing minute, cold creeping into the empty space she left. You told yourself not to worry and laid your head down to wait.

Five minutes.

Fifteen.

Thirty.

Your heart begins to race before you even fully sit up, body rigid as you strain to hear her returning steps. Nothing. Just wind, and the restless hum of the forest.

You shove your shoes on and step out of the tent, the night air biting instantly. You follow the direction you think she went, calling her name, your voice small against the trees. You don’t do this—camping, wilderness, unknown creatures hidden in the dark. You don’t know how any of it works.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been walking when you hear it—something moving nearby, too heavy to be the wind. You call for Wanda, but she doesn’t answer, and the silence twists your fear into something sharper, the question shifting from where are we to who—or what—is out here with us? Before you can turn, you’re suddenly yanked down behind a bush, a shriek ripping from your throat as panic floods you.

You look up to find Wanda crouched over you. “Shh,” she whispers, eyes bright, “there’s a rare animal just over there… don’t spook it.”

Annoyance surges through you, hot and immediate. “I couldn’t care less, Wanda. I thought you were hurt.”

“I’m not,” she says quickly. “I just stepped away to pee and saw an ivory-billed woodpecker. I followed it. I didn’t mean to scare you—I’m sorry. I just got excited.” She presses a soft kiss to your forehead, apology made physical. You don’t pull away, but you don’t lean in either, just breathe out slowly and remind yourself she’s okay.

The bird is long gone, likely startled off by your scream. Wanda stands and helps you up, brushing dirt from your clothes before lacing her fingers with yours again. “Let’s head back to camp, yeah? Finally get some sleep?”

You nod, exhausted, and follow her down what she believes is the path back—though time feels just as slow as before, and the trees still look painfully, endlessly the same.

Five minutes. Ten. Fifteen. Twenty.

With each passing second, the air grows heavier, and so does the feeling in your chest. It starts small—just a flicker of concern—but it swells quickly, pressing against your ribs. You glance at Wanda and know instantly she feels it too. Her expression shifts, confidence slipping into confusion. Her brows knit together, her jaw tightening as she scans the path ahead.

“Wanda—” you start, but she cuts you off before you can finish.

“No, baby, we’re not lost,” she insists quickly. “Let’s just go back the way we came and head the other direction. I just made a wrong turn.”

She lets out a laugh, but it’s thin—strained at the edges, missing its warmth. Still, you cling to it like it’s something solid. You offer a small smile in return, because right now you need her certainty, even if it’s forced. Your hand tightens around hers. You can’t be lost. That’s something that happens in movies. Dramatic. Unreal. Everything that felt “movie-like” before suddenly seems harmless in comparison.

But the thoughts come anyway.

If you’re lost, anything could happen. Your belongings. Her car, left behind. The food in your bag, the scent of it carrying through the trees. Animals. The cold. Maybe someone would find you. Maybe they wouldn’t. And if they didn’t—

The spiral is quick and merciless, to the point you don’t even notice when Wanda falls quiet.

She’s stopped walking. Completely still now, no longer guiding the two of you forward. Her eyes move rapidly, searching, calculating. The moonlight spills through the trees, bright enough to cast pale silver across the forest floor. It should feel comforting. It doesn’t.

She’s only carrying a few things—barely enough to matter. Every tree looks identical. Every direction feels the same. She knows you came from uphill. But which uphill? They all look like the right one. Every area leads to an uphill.

She knows, at the very least, that you haven’t wandered that far. It only feels endless because every direction looks identical—trees like copy and paste, slopes repeating themselves in cruel symmetry. Logically, the campsite can’t be miles away. It can’t be.

But logic doesn’t matter as much as energy does.

If you pick a direction—any direction—and you’re wrong, you could spend hours walking in a slow, stupid circle. Burning calories you don’t have to spare. No food. Barely any water. Night pressing in. Panic clouding judgment. That’s how people get truly lost—by refusing to stop moving.

She knows that.

The problem is, she also knows you.

So she squares her shoulders and smooths her expression before turning to you, building a calm she doesn’t entirely feel. She won’t let you see the flicker of uncertainty tightening in her chest. If you panic, this gets worse. If you spiral, she’ll have two problems instead of one.

“Okay,” she says evenly, like this is nothing more than a minor inconvenience. “Here’s the plan. We make a fire here tonight—I still have my lighter. We conserve energy. And we start fresh on the trail back tomorrow morning when we can actually see.”

For a second, the forest feels impossibly quiet.

“What?!”

The word rips out of you before you can soften it. Your stomach drops, disbelief flashing hot across your face. Stay here? In the dark? In the middle of nowhere? The idea feels like surrender. Like admitting you’re actually lost.

Wanda’s jaw tightens just slightly—but her voice stays steady.

“It’s smarter,” she says. “Wandering around at night is how we make this worse.”

“Wanda.” Her name leaves your mouth sharp, almost cutting. “Do you know where camp is? Because why can’t we just walk back now?”

The question hangs heavier than you meant it to.

For a split second—barely there—something flickers across her face. Not fear. Not exactly. But hesitation. Her eyes shift past you, scanning the trees like the answer might be carved into one of them.

“I know the general direction,” she says carefully. Too carefully. “We came from uphill. If we keep chasing what feels right in the dark, we’re just guessing.”

Guessing.

The word lands wrong.

“So we are lost,” you press, your voice thinner now, the anger fraying into something closer to panic. “You don’t actually know.”

Wanda exhales through her nose, controlled. Measured. “I know enough not to waste energy walking blind. It’s colder, visibility’s worse, and you’re already exhausted.”

You hate that she’s making sense. You hate even more that she won’t just say it plainly.

“I just don’t want to stay out here all night,” you admit, quieter now. “What if we’re further than you think?”

Worst case. You swallow, the words echoing louder in your head than they should. Wanda notices immediately and cracks a small smile, the kind that’s meant to chip away at the anxiety rising in your chest.

“Hey,” she says lightly, nudging you, “at least we’re together. How bad can things really be then?”

A chill sweeps through the trees and she reaches for you without hesitation, pulling you close. You rest your head against her chest, listening to her steady heartbeat, letting it anchor you.

“Okay… we re-trace in the morning,” you murmur, more to convince yourself than her.

“That’s my plan,” she says softly, patting your back once.

Then she gently pulls away to get to work, gathering dry twigs and snapping small branches with practiced ease. The lighter flicks a few times before a flame catches, and she shields it carefully, building a modest fire meant to last the night—enough warmth to fight the cold, enough light to keep the darkness from swallowing you whole, enough, hopefully, to keep morale from cracking before morning comes.

It takes a little coaxing before you finally settle onto the ground beside her. She says it's called cowboy camping, where you sleep directly under the stars. That she's done it before. She’s built a makeshift bed from what she could find—a flat rock for a pillow, the earth softened by pine needles, and her body pressed behind yours, trying to be a human blanket.

She wraps an arm around you, holding you close as you sink into the rough comfort. The fire has long since gone out, leaving only the muted sounds of the forest around you. Slowly, your breathing evens, her warmth pressing against you, and you drift into sleep.

Sun rises yet again, birds chirping. You rub at your eyes, sitting up, untangling from her. She looks a mess. Dirt in her hair, tangled slightly towards the roots possibly from grabbing it in her sleep as she does. You lean over her, pressing a kiss to her neck, mumbling a tired greeting.

You two stretch, mark out signs that hint towards being the trail back to your camp, and you walk about back. Start to, at least. Morale at a decent level. Walking with some energy, hiking back one way that looks more familiar than the other areas.

An hour or two passes. The trees blur together again. Wanda’s expression falters, and your fear spikes, noticing her hesitation and realizing you still haven’t found your way back.

"Did we take another wrong turn...?" you ask softly, arms crossed over yourself, the cold creeping in.

"No, no. This looks familiar, I walked past this funky bush."

The tracks you hoped to follow are gone, swallowed by fallen leaves and brush. Paths that once seemed familiar start looping, repeating, blending together. Maybe that bush is just another copy of the one you passed five minutes ago. Landmarks begin to feel like tricks, teasing your eyes and memory.

It swirls in both your heads, especially Wanda’s. She’s the one with experience here, the one chosen to lead you back. Her mind races, calculating the best plan, but she hesitates, careful not to push too hard or stress you further.

Time passes. The sun has climbed past its peak, inching toward late afternoon, shadows stretching.

Wanda slows to a stop.

"We’ve been walking for some time, and it’s going to get dark soon. We need to find a place to stay for the night and have time to set up camp. We’ll look the other direction tomorrow."

It makes sense, so you follow along, but the thought nags: this is your second night away from the camp.

"So… we’re lost," you murmur, sitting on a rock as Wanda crouches nearby, adding sticks to the growing fire pile.

"No, no. Not lost. We were going to camp three nights anyway. This is our second night, just another experience. We’re really not far from camp—I bet we’ll find it tomorrow."

At the very least, you have your fanny pack, grabbed before you set out to search for her. A few essentials to keep yourself safe: a plastic flask with water, one granola bar, your phone, and a hair tie. Barely anything, but enough for the night. Another fire is made. You lie side by side, her warmth behind you, and try to fall asleep, the forest quiet except for the faint crackle of flames.

The next day is a repeat of the day before. You wander, moving with a sense of purpose but still unsure where anything leads. Every tree looks the same, every bend in the trail mirrors another you’ve already passed.

Wanda proposes an idea.

“Let’s walk a circle around where we first camped,” she says, trying to keep her voice steady. “If we cover the area, we might run back into the tent—or at least recognize something familiar. That way we stay close to where we know we were.”

You nod, though doubt gnaws at the edges of your mind. Following her plan feels safer than wandering blindly, yet the forest swallows every step, and the markers you leave behind vanish beneath fallen leaves and shifting brush. The day stretches long and repetitive, each hour bleeding into the next, and even with a plan, the forest’s endlessness presses down heavier than ever.

At night, when you lay together, you instinctively lean closer to her, seeking comfort in the quiet, feeling raw and sensitive to everything around you.

What if you’re truly lost? Would you even survive? Would you see your family again— your mom, your friends? What about everything you had hoped to do? You brush it away by closing your eyes, and gripping Wanda's hands that hold. Hoping to wake up from the mess, find the camp and the car and the food all tomorrow.

The days roll over. No camp is in sight.

Food and water have become scarce, and it feels as though you’ve been walking in circles. Literally. Exhaustion settles deep into both of you, and every small frustration bubbles quietly beneath the surface.

You stumble over a hidden root, and Wanda calls out, sharp with concern.

“Watch out...!"

“I am watching!” you snap back, frustration edging your voice.

Later, a whispered suggestion from you is met with a terse response, and silence falls again, heavy and brittle, broken only by the crunch of leaves beneath your feet.

You sit now at yet another fire. Arms wrapped around your legs, watching the fire flicker and all you can think is about how you hate fire. You hate campfires, nature, you hate the feeling of dirt.... You never want to ever see or feel or hear any of this again.

Wanda's been trying, and you know this. You wouldn't have gotten so far if it weren't for her. You glance at her momentarily as she walks back and forth. Gathering something, setting something down, fidgeting with another, looking around. Quiet restlessness.

You flinch as Wanda drops a bundle of sticks too close to your side, zoned out you didn't see her walking up close to you.

“Careful!” you snap. “God, you’re going to set me on fire. You've done this every night."

She stops, eyes narrowing. “I am being careful. Maybe you’d see that if you helped instead of sulking and sitting about.”

You bristle. "Well if you can't help but notice we're fucking lost, Wanda. Maybe if you could admit it to yourself it would help us both out."

Her eyes flash, hurt and frustration warring. “And what does that do for either of us? Admitting it? I know we’re lost! We're lost, alright? You win! You think I don’t feel it too? You’re not the only one exhausted, you know. Especially when you sit around like this."

You swallow hard, trying to rein in your voice, but the edge is still there. “Oh, so I’m supposed to fix everything? Maybe you should’ve thought about that before we even left. You're the smartass who thought we should even camp and look where that lead us."

Wanda goes silent for a moment after her words, just staring at you, chest heaving. The forest seems to press in around you both, amplifying every ragged breath.

“You’re smarter than that,” you finally say, voice trembling with anger and exhaustion. “You know I didn’t plan for this.”

She scoffs, harsh. “You just wondered about into the night! Oh how fucking smart that was! I thought you died, and now here we are—about to die!”

Her words hit like a punch. You snap back, voice rising: “Well, you’ve been no help either! The only reason we’re even doing okay is because of me! You act like I’ve done nothing, but I haven't even seen you try."

"Im trying to even accept what's happening!"

She throws her hands up, huffing, walking about, "you don't think I am either? God, you're only thinking about yourself...... but what's new."

"What does that even mean...? You have something to say?"

You probe, poke at her. You don't want to, the words stumbled out of your mouth before you could grasp at them. A part of you, hesitant, wants to see what she would say, how she cares....

"What about how I feel? I'm terrified. You're right. We're lost. And we can die in the next few days. But you know what I've been doing..." she says lowly, stepping towards you, finger pointed. And you want to shrink more than you have.

“Every single thought I have is about you. About how to keep you safe, how to not let you get scared. I haven’t had time to process it myself because I’m too busy worrying about you!”

You stiffen, voice rising without thinking. “Well that’s not my fault! I didn’t ask you to!”

"Well would you rather I sit back and let you guide us fifty feet buried into the ground?!"

"God," you stand, "no. I get it. I hear you, baby. I'm useless, and selfish. Im a fucking burden to you to care about."

Wanda freezes for a moment, jaw tight, then her voice cuts through, trembling with frustration. “A burden? That’s what you think you are? You really can twist everything into a blame game, huh?!”

You glare, chest heaving, voice cracking. “I’m not twisting anything! I’m just saying how it feels! I’m scared, Wanda! I’m tired! I’m terrified we’re never getting out of this!”

She takes a step closer, eyes flashing. “Scared? Yeah, me too! But at least I’m doing something! You’re so busy hating yourself, you can’t even notice everything else around you!"

Your fists clench. “Oh, so now it’s my fault I’m human?! Maybe I should just leave, see how well you survive on your own."

Her face hardens, voice low and sharp. “Go ahead."

The words hit like fire. You both stand, trembling with exhaustion, fear, and frustration, shouting at the only person who actually matters. The forest presses in around you, the fire between you crackling, and every sharp word cuts deeper than the last.

You feel fifty feet buried into the group at this very moment. Your eyes looking into hers. Steely, dirt smudged along her face, body tense. With not another word you turn, walking through the leaves. Not far at all, just a bit away. To cool off, get space.

The crunch of leaves under your boots feels deafening in the heavy silence. Your chest heaves, each breath sharp and ragged. You glance back, half-expecting her to follow immediately, but she stays by the fire, motionless, staring after you.

The distance is small—maybe ten, twenty feet—but it feels like miles. You press your hands into your knees, leaning over, trying to calm the thrum of adrenaline, the jagged edges of fear and frustration still scraping at you.

From the corner of your eye, you see her shift, arms crossing tightly over her chest, jaw clenched. Not a word passes between you. The forest around you is indifferent—shadowed trees, the crackling fire, the wind through the leaves—but somehow, the weight of it all presses heavier here, between you.

You want to speak, to apologize, to reach out, but the words are lodged in your throat. Instead, you just breathe, listening to the quiet, letting the tension hum in the air, both of you trapped in your fear, pride, and the unspoken need for the other. All broken by the weight of everything.

Later that night you come to lay across from her. Skin against the cold dirt. Little rocks rubbing uncomfortably against your skin. The fires been put out since then, you heard the steam as she did so earlier. Anger from her words bringing you to turn your back to her, tears pricking your eyes as you beg your body to let you sleep.

An uncomfortable night later, you wake to the sun creeping over the treetops. Your bleary vision notes that Wanda is already up, moving ahead of you. Silent. Distant. No kiss on your neck, no mutters about finding camp today, no whispered plans to get home tomorrow… or seeing your cat again.

You rise, body sore from sleeping twisted on the uneven ground, goosebumps prickling along your skin.

Nothing is said. You just watch her take off, wholly unlike her. Your chest tightens. You follow, heart clenching painfully, each step driving you further. Your mind churns like a storm, teasing your worst fears, your worst habits, your own sense of helplessness.

The only thing that has kept you going through all of this is her.

And now she moves ahead, pace quick, effortless. You’re only a few steps back, but it feels like miles. Step too fast, and you might lose her entirely.

Your vision blurs. Tears well up, making it harder to see the rocky ground ahead. A jagged stone, one you might have noticed if you’d watched her steps, catches your foot. You stumble, twisting your leg, and fall awkwardly, the wind knocked out of you.

The sharp, nearly zombie-like sound of your tumble brings her to an immediate halt. She twists, eyes wide, finding you sprawled on the ground, hands clutching your leg, a soft pained whimper escaping your lips.

Her heart, soft for you even though it hasn't felt like it has. Beneath her cool exterior, is the guilt gnawing at her since last night tightens like a vice. She's right. This is my fault. My recklessness put us here. My decisions put her at risk.... I am the reason she could die. She's just been trying to fix it all, and she's doing the opposite.

Her chest aches. Her hands tremble as she kneels beside you. You're reaching for her the second she's close, crying into her shirt about how it hurts. Her expression is raw as she looks about at you. At your face, contorted in emotions. Your ankle that's now twisted, shin scratched and bleeding. All mixed with dirt, sand, small rocks.

She's shushing you gently, reaching around you to pick you up. She walks the way towards a clearing. Off the path towards anything that could help. A flat surface to set you on, or running water, something.

A flat rock ahead she takes you to. Laying you down, spreading your hair off of your sweaty face. Seeing your expression mixed in pain breaks her.

"It hurts," you cry, reaching for her. "it hurts...."

She gives you her shaky hand, "what specifically hurts.... your foot... ankle? what happened....?"

You grip onto her hand with a vice grip, saying nothing but heaved air, hiccups. And her expression falters all the most when she realizes what's hurting you so much, what's really upsetting you.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispers, pressing her lips to your cheek where the tears streak down. “I’m never leaving you behind. God… I’m so sorry…”

She stays there, unmoving, until your sobs quiet, until your breath evens out. Her lips trail softly across your forehead, down your cheek, brushing the tip of your nose, lingering at your eyes. All the while tears of her own exhaustion break through.

Gently, she kneels by your ankle, carefully removing a strip from the bottom of her long pants. Her fingers work deftly despite the shaking, brushing dirt away, trying to clean the scrape and wrap it as best as she can. Every movement is deliberate, tender, protective.

“You’ve got to stay still,” she murmurs, voice barely audible, lips close to your ear. “I’ve got you..... I've got you."

The bandage is snug but not tight, her fingers lingering a moment longer, holding your ankle in a quiet promise of care. She leans back just enough to look into your eyes, letting you see her determination, her fear, her love—all entwined in the same glance.

She stays right there, unmoving until your tears calm. Her lips meeting your forehead, cheek, nose, eye. Tears pricking her own eyes. "I promise to you that we will live..."

You glance to her, bottom lip wobbling, "If we are to die... Id prefer no place else than where I am right now with you."

Wanda’s eyes meet yours, wide and glistening, her breath catching as she takes in the vulnerability etched across your face. For a heartbeat, she just looks—the exhaustion, fear, and unspoken words reflected back at her.

Then, almost instinctively, she leans in, quick and decisive. Her lips press against yours, soft at first, then firmer, urgent. You reach a hand up into her hair, leaning into it. Pushing up with your back hand. Pain, fear, it all forgotten.

Each kiss winds and wisps into more like wind picking up. Hands on each other. Your hands tangled in her hair, her hands trailing from cupping your face to hold your waist. Your legs wrapping around her waist, kissing with desperation. Craving closeness.

Her kisses trail down to the corner of your lips, your jaw, your neck. And you shudder, keening, pushing up into her touch. Lips sliding down your body, your chest, between your breasts. Her eyes, dark with tears still shining flicker to your expression. Noting how your expression contorts at her touch, your sensitivity to her.

She tugs you to her, kissing along your chest to watch you squirm, and gasp hotly. Her hands tugging at your pants already, unbuckling them with passion. Your minds already a melted mess. Chest rising and falling fast, shirt unbuttoned. A hand thrown over your face, occasionally biting into the skin as you feel her fingers dip to feel your cunt directly.

She kisses at your ear, rubbing against you over your underwear. Feeling you shudder once again, rolling your hips with her movements.

"Wet already," she husks, teasing, embarrassing you. She knows how much you hate being told how wet you are, hearing the slick sounds. But it arouses her to a point of feeling drunk. To have you wrecked to a point, to know you're turned on by her.

She pushes your underwear to the side, touching you directly. You moan her name, gripping her tight with the one free hand you have. Biting hard onto your skin, muffling your sounds.

She's quick to push them into you, whispering hot nonsense about how you should listen... focus on how her fingers move in and out of you... how you're dripping everywhere.... how beautiful you look...

She brings her fingers out for a moment, to lick them clean. Eyes caught onto yours. Next you know, she's crouching between your legs, careful of your injured one. Sliding your clothes just enough to slide between them. With your underwear moved to the side again, she licks you clean. Entrance to the top of your clit, and you choke on a whine.

"Wands..!"

She's messy. Licking, sucking, providing pressure to watch you choke on another moan. Catching you off guard mercilessly, time and time again. Getting you close to a high, feeling close like you're as light as a feather. Hips squirming, your fingers scratching at her scalp. Begging her to not stop, for more, gasping sharply. All until she's bringing you to come, feeling hot all around.

You pant softly, eyes closed, still catching your breath. She kneels for a moment, steadying you, then moves to help you with your clothes, adjusting them carefully, making sure everything sits right against you.

Once she’s done, she leans over you again, brushing a strand of hair from your face. Her lips find the corner of yours, soft and fleeting, a quiet promise wrapped in a gesture

"I love you."

he next morning, despite everything, despite the odds stacked against you, the forest feels a little less suffocating. Your chest feels lighter, almost ignited again, the tension of the last day and night softened by sleep and the quiet determination lingering between you.

You sit side by side, knees brushing.

“Hey,” you say, voice small but earnest, “thanks for… you know, last night. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

Wanda glances at you, a small, tired smile tugging at her lips. “You’d still be alive, don’t sell yourself short. But… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad I could be here with you.”

You breathe a laugh, soft and shaky. “Glad I’m here too, I guess.”

She stands off the log, and as you move to a large wave a pain akin to lighting shoots up your leg.

“I… I can’t,” you murmur, a whisper of insecurity.

Wanda stops instantly. She says firmly, dropping to her knees. “Come here, I'll just carry you."

Before you can protest, she lifts you carefully onto her back, adjusting so you’re secure. You rest your head on her shoulder, a flush of guilt warming your cheeks. “I feel like… I don’t know… I’m slowing you down..."

“You’re not," is all she replies with.

They move forward, Wanda carrying you with careful, determined steps. She passes a bush that seems vaguely familiar, but keeps it to herself, eyes forward, not letting the distraction break her focus. Sort of listening to you carry on a conversation about a hobby you've been enjoying.

You chatter softly about a hobby you’ve been enjoying lately, letting your words fill the quiet space between you. Wanda hums along, nodding, responding in small, distracted ways—but her eyes are scanning ahead.

And then she stops. A flash of recognition in her gaze. “There,” she says simply, voice tight with relief.

Ahead, the camp comes into view: tents clustered together, faint smoke rising. The conversation dies on your lips. Wanda’s pace quickens, each step confident, determined. You cling a little closer, heart racing, letting her take the lead.

She carries you straight through the clearing, past the tents, and toward the car parked just beyond. When she sets you down near it, both of you pause, catching your breath, eyes wide in silent shock. The ordeal feels like it’s finally catching up to you.

Wanda kneels by the car, searching quickly for the keys, worry flashing across her face. “Please let the battery be alive,” she mutters under her breath.

You watch her with a mix of awe and exhaustion. She finds the keys, slides them into the ignition—and it starts. The engine hums like a miracle, and relief crashes over both of you.

She turns to you, brushing a strand of hair from your face, and presses a kiss to your lips, soft and grounding. “You okay?” she murmurs, leaning back against the car.

You nod, still shaky. “Yeah… I think so. You?”

“I’m fine,” she says, voice steady now, though her fingers tighten around the keys. She glances at you again. “Do you still have your phone?”

You nod again, reaching into your pocket. She takes it from you, noting the battery is low but preserved, it had only been used for a flashlight before. “Good,” she says, a small sigh escaping. “We’ll use whatever gas or power we’ve got to get somewhere with signal before I call EMT or services. First, we get out of the woods. Then we make sure you’re taken care of.”

You lean against the car, letting the shock and relief wash over you both. "God, baby... we made it... we're going to be okay," she whispers, almost laughing softly with disbelief again, kissing you yet again. Teary. The guilt still gnawing away at her. You cup her cheek, smiling tiredly.

The forest, the fear, the pain. All of it seems distant now, nothing due to the quiet triumph of finally making it back.

Even though it’s clearly tense, the argument isn’t loud. That almost makes it worse.

Wanda comes home late again,third time this week. Her shoulders are tight, the skin under her eyes darker than usual. She smells faintly of sweetness and gunpowder, her nails chipped.

You wait up for her on the couch, half-asleep beneath a blanket with your eyelids heavy and your jaw slack.

“You shouldn’t have waited up,” she mutters as she drops heavily into the chair across from you.

You stare at her before stretching your arms with a yawn. “You said you’d be home hours ago.”

“It got busy.”

“It’s always busy, you’re always busy.” The words come out sharper than you intend.

She wrinkles her nose. “I don’t mean to be.”

You nod, because you know, and you get it. You always get it, always being the supportive, patient girlfriend.

You’re tired of always being the understanding one. Tired of biting back the sharp words, of swallowing your frustration so she doesn’t feel attacked. You carry the weight of patience like it’s a second skin, always explaining, always forgiving, always bending. And some nights, it burns, the way your own needs get lost beneath hers, the way being ‘understanding’ feels more like a job than love. You wonder if she even notices, or if this is just who you’re always going to be.

“I’m going to bed.” You stand up, the blanket falling to the floor.

Wanda watches you stand, the quiet thump of the blanket hitting the floor echoing in her chest.

She wants to say something, anything to make you stay. But her throat feels tight, like always when she’s tired and guilty and unsure how to fix things without making them worse.

Her fingers curl into her sleeves as she stares at your back. The house is too quiet now. Too empty for someone who just walked through a door five seconds ago.

You’re halfway down the hall when she finally whispers, “I'm sorry.”

You pause, glancing at her before looking at your sock covered toes. “Are you?”

Wanda stands, the chair creaking as she makes her way to you. Her arms slip around your waist, her face pressing between your shoulder blades.

“Of course I am,” she murmurs and for some reason this makes you angrier. “Baby, I’m sorry.”

You shrug her off, pushing out of her arms. The movement is quick, and she’s tired and unsuspecting, and Wanda loses her footing. She stumbles back, her eyes wide with shock, not from anger, but from the sudden rejection. She catches herself on the wall just in time, one hand slapping against it with a quiet thud. Her breath hitches. The air between you turns brittle.

“J-just stay down,” you whisper, blinking hard. “Just stay away.”

For a second, she doesn’t move. Just stares at you, and you see something new on her face. Not sadness or exhaustion, but hurt. Real hurt. That cuts deeper than any yelling ever could.

Her arms fall limp to her sides. No excuses come this time. No half baked apologies or kisses of reassurance. She glares at you, and you glare right back until you spin on your heel and walk away.

As you slip under the covers, you half wonder if she’ll come to bed or if she’ll sleep on the couch. You aren’t proud of what you did, how you touched her with anything less than adoration, but you’re too frustrated and tired to try and make peace with her. You shut your eyes, rolling over before begging sleep to take you.

Down the hall, Wanda stands frozen in the dim light. The house feels too big all of a sudden, too quiet, too cold.

She doesn’t go to bed.

Instead, she pads barefoot into the kitchen and fills a glass with water she won’t drink. She simply stares at as she repeats your words, the tiredness ebbing at her.

It has finally happened.

You have finally tired of her.

Her chest aches, not from work exhaustion or magic burn, but from being hated by you without understanding why.

She slips from your apartment like a ghost. Her hand shoved into her pocket, she shows up on Steve’s doorstep without notice, but he lets her in all the same.

“She’s done with me.” Wanda whispers as he hands her a mug. Her eyes drop to it, and he shrugs.

“It’s decaf,” he hums. “I just, like it when I’m thinking.”

“Ah.” Wanda takes a tentative sip.

“Did she really say that though?” He asks. “That she’s done?”

Wanda shakes her head, curling into Steve’s couch like a child, knees tucked up, mug cradled in both hands.

“No,” she admits quietly. “She didn’t say that.”

Steve waits. He always waits well.

The silence stretches, and Wanda stares at the steam rising from the decaf tea, wondering why someone would drink something so weak on purpose, and it makes her feel worse somehow.

“She pushed me,” she says finally. “I came home late again, and I smelled like smoke and sweat… and I was tired of being scolded.” Her voice cracks slightly. “So when she got mad, I just, kept trying and she snapped.”

She takes another sip, mostly to hide that her lip is trembling now.

“She shouldn’t have done that.” Steve mutters and Wanda puts down the mug.

“She’s harmless.”

“Still.”

“Do you know how easily I could hurt her?” Wanda snaps, and a muscle in Steve’s jaw ticks. “I could crack her spine with a twist of my wrist. I could make her lungs no longer expand. I could end her life without a blink.” her fingers are trembling as she speaks. “So if she wants to get a little mad at me not putting her first, she has every right.”

Steve doesn’t flinch, but his posture shifts, subtle, like a soldier bracing for impact.

He looks at Wanda, not with fear but something worse: disappointment. The kind that cuts deep because it comes from someone who genuinely cares.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “She has every right.”

A beat passes. The clock ticks on the wall.

Steve leans forward, elbows on his knees. “But you’re sitting here telling me how much damage you *could* do… and I don’t think that’s what this is about.” Wanda stiffens. Her breath hitches again, not in rage now, but shame creeping in like cold water under a door. “I think you both owe each other an apology.”

“She doesn’t want to see me right now.”

“Well when she does,” Steve probs. “It better be with an apology.”

Wanda gives a half hearted shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe. It just, it feels like it’s always like this. Like she’s…she’s so far from me and I can’t reach her anymore.”

Steve sighs, that deep, weary sound of a man who’s seen too many good people ruin things with silence and pride. He reaches over and gently takes the mug from her hands, still half-full, and sets it on the coffee table. Shifting, he wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her into a one-armed hug.

“I get it,” he says softly after a moment. “You’re tired of failing each other.” Wanda leans into him without meaning to, eyes stinging again, not crying yet, but close. “But if she’s pulling away… maybe you need to try harder when she is there.”

“I don’t want to lose her.” Wanda whispers, her cheek pressed to his shoulder.

“Then don’t.”

Wanda closes her eyes before inhaling. “It feels like I already am.”

Steve doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Just holds her until her heart beats not so hard. The house is quiet, no TV or no music, just the soft hum of the fridge and the occasional creak of old wood settling.

He knows that tone, that whisper before breaking down. He’s heard it from soldiers returning from war zones, kids who lost parents too young, people on the edge of something they can’t fix alone.

And Wanda sounds like someone already grieving.

“You’re not losing her,” Steve says finally. “Not unless you stop trying. So go to her.”

A tear slips out then, one quiet traitor that rolls down her cheek into his shirt sleeve. Sniffing, Wanda nods. “Yeah. okay, you’re…you’re right.”

The walk home feels longer than the one leaving it. By the time she unlocks the front door, it’s nearly six in the morning, and she’s blearily tired. Dropping her keys on the counter, she makes her way to the bedroom, an apology already on her lips. She loves you, she needs you, but more importantly, you need to know that.

The door creaks as she walks in, and she says your name softly when she finds the sheets empty. Peering into the bathroom, she walks back out, wondering if she had missed you in the livingroom, but empty couches greet her. She checks the kitchen, and it’s then that she sees it.

The little folded note, a W written on the front.

Wanda freezes in the kitchen doorway, heart thudding.

The note is small, folded neatly into a square, placed right on the counter where she could see it. The W is written in your handwriting, slightly smudged like you wrote it quickly.

She picks it up carefully, fingers brushing the paper. It feels fragile somehow, like something that holds too much for its size. For a second, she just stares at it, the first sign of you since last night’s fight, and her breath catches. Then slowly, she unfolds it with quiet hands and begins to read what’s inside.

W,

We tried our best. I know we did, but this is too much. I’m too much. I should never have put my hands on you, and I am so sorry. It made me realize that I don’t know if I’m made for this life. The waiting, the worrying, it gets to me. But you are. The job is your life, and I understand. Know that I will always be proud of you. I just can’t be by your side. I left my key to your apartment in the sidetable drawer. I packed most of my things but whatever else is there, you can keep. Be safe always. I’m sorry.

Wanda reads the note once.

Then again.

And then a third time, slower this time, as if each word might disappear if she blinks too hard.

Her hands don’t shake, not yet. They’re numb. Cold. Her blood has turned to ice in her veins despite the warm kitchen around her.

I left my key.

You can keep whatever’s left.

The last line- Be safe always. Not I love you. Not See you soon.

It was a goodbye written by someone who thought they weren't allowed to stay anymore.

The note slips from her fingers and flutters quietly onto the counter like ash falling after fire burns. Her heart hammering, Wanda presses a palm to her sternum, trying to remember to breathe.

Sliding into a kitchen chair, she snatches up the letter and reads it again.

This time, the words hurt.

Not just sadness, pain, sharp and jagged, like someone had reached inside her chest and twisted.

She reads it a fourth time. And a fifth. Each reread feels worse than the last because she starts to understand: you didn’t leave in anger. You left quietly. Gently, even.

Like you were trying not to make it harder for her.

And that’s what destroys her, the kindness in your note despite how badly things ended between you two last night.

“I'm too much.”

Wanda swallows hard against the lump rising in her throat. Her eyes burn now, not with tears yet, but with something close to panic: you're gone.

You packed your things, you left your key. You wrote an apology letter like this was some polite breakup after years of marriage, but no, it wasn't even that far along yet.

And now it never would be.

x

Ao3 link

Wanda blurbs

June of Doom/Swoon June ML

Far above the apartment, another feather drifts through pale light.

The sky here has no direction. The light exists everywhere at once. Endless pale sky with no visible sun, yet there’s soft light that has no clear source. Distant clouds float calmly from the faint wind that has no temperature.

The horizon stretches endlessly but nothing feels far away. There are no visible edges. No corners.

Feathers slowly attach to another, slowly connected to hundreds floating tiny particles. They all gently formed into a figure, you.

Once you reach full form, you gasp for air then look around. A pale soft mist like surface forms under your feet as you regain your balance. You notice you are somewhere you have never been before, it feels way up higher than usual. Thin clouds appear like smokes every time your wings drag around following your move. You become aware of the space, it seems familiar because you have heard it before. It’s The Hall of Balance, where the Elder and Higher Angels hear the matters of the heart.

Not many cupids have been here. You have heard about this hall before from other angels, It’s the hall that you thought you would never ever break any rule and be summoned to but here you are. You know the reason why you are here.

Heaven does not welcome you. The air feels still, even the light surrounding seems too quiet. It feels quieter than you remember. You can even hear the slight movement of your wings but not The Higher Angels’. The sound when they land gracefully almost doesn’t exist, not even when their majestic wings fold. Their robes fall like drifting clouds around their feet, and a faint halo of lights from each feathers’ faint silver glow .

The air grows heavier with quiet authority. “Y/n Y/L/N.” A blended divine voice that has a resonance as a deep bell, sharp as lightning, yet smooth as flowing water called your name. You turn your head to the source of it with unseen form and bright light but not blinding, brighter than the surroundings. The presence before you feels singular yet the silence around it feels larger than one being. The voice belongs to The Elder. Other Higher Angels stand nearby quietly, observing while doing their duties as witnesses of The Trial.

“Yes.” You answered, fixing your stand full of respect.

“Your assignment, Case 626-212: Wanda Maximoff was the reason that you have been summoned to this Trial.”

The Trial, centuries of serving your duty as Cupid, you have heard about it but you never thought that you would be in it. You don’t want to. No Cupid ever does.

You wait if the Elder has more to say.

“All cupids must remain impartial. Emotional entanglement is forbidden. The law has stood since the first heart was guided.” The rule echoes out from the bright light. The Higher Angels remain where they stand, their wings folded in a quiet witness

“Yes but Wanda didn’t do anything wrong. She’s already lost enough.” You instinctively defend Wanda in a calm and respectful manner.

“She didn’t. You did.” The voice responds to your defense. You freeze for a beat because of the fact that was just pointed out.

“Yes. I did.” You take the responsibility.

“The neutrality rule has been violated. Therefore you will return to your duties in heaven, and your assignment on earth will end.” A standard solution was pitched out for you and it hit your gut.

“Honored Elder, with all due respect, I was sent to help her. Wanda believes in love, she is just afraid to lose love again. She needs love that stays.” You slightly argue then you pause and hesitate to continue your words. “I can’t leave her like that.”

“Did you fall in love with her?” The Elder asks you directly with a firmer tone.

You lose your words for a few seconds, your wings’ glow flicks again as soon as you have the answer in your mind.

“Yes.” You lower your gaze slightly. The Higher Angels nod subtly, acknowledging your confession.

Then you glance up again as you say, “I love her.” You admit it to The Elder and to yourself. Your wings lightly tense.

Silence gathers around you again and deepens. You look at the Higher Angels witnessing your confession. You feel a pull from your wings again, a strong one.

“There is another option.” The Elder wisely stated. You look back to the light right away after what you just heard.

“Cupids may choose to be with their assignment.”

Surprise and confusion look clear on your face hearing the mentioned hidden rule. You thought you knew all of the rules, but you were wrong.

“Both choices come with consequences. Should cupid choose to be their assignment, the connection between them and heaven will be severed.” The Elder slightly warns you as the hidden rule explained.

“A few among the Cupids have shown such deep compassion. You are one of our finest Cupids because you have guided many hearts to love. It’s clear to see that you love your duties.”

Your voice softens. “I do.”

Your words continue, “I really do.” Tears roll down slowly on your cheeks before falling onto the clouds under you.

“Should you choose heaven over your assignment, you will be forgiven and may return to your duties while as its consequence, your duties on earth will end for good.” The Elder restated the main solution in a neutral and calm tone.

“Then...” Hesitation exists for a few beats, you swallow hard. The weight of the choice settles in your chest. “I accept the consequence.” you add. Lights gather around your wings again. They settle behind you, steady again. No flick of glow anymore, it’s steady just like how it is supposed to be, when no rule was broken. The faint tugs on the base of your wings have gone.

“Very well.” The hall falls into silence one more time. You can see the Higher Angels unfold their enormous wings again. Take a half step forward.

_____

The last rays of sunlight quietly fade as the night takes over the sky. The red and orange shades on the sky are slowly replaced by dark blue tones.

Wanda steps out of the elevator half heartedly when the door opens on the 7th floor. Going home is way harder than working late at the office. She unlocks the door then pauses a little before she opens the door to her apartment.

Keys go on the hook right away and the coat settles on the rack. Wanda leaves her shoes where she takes them off. The apartment still feels the same, quiet, lived in yet empty. No chaos, just quiet absence from you. The stack of mails and remote are back to where they usually are. Her blanket lies unfolded on the couch with half of it reaching the floor.

She stops her steps just to scan the living room quickly, recreating the image of you when you were still there. Then she glances down to stop her own mind from doing so as she reaches for your feather from her pocket. It has been her shadow wherever she goes since you left. With a soft exhale, she walks to the kitchen.

The jar of honey stays on the kitchen island. Wanda lays the feather gently as if it’s a fragile thing that needs to be protected.

In her effort to go back to her routine again, she sets the kettle of water on the stove before she goes to her room to shower and change.

Another sigh escaped her lips as soon as she walked back into the kitchen. Your feather was the first thing she checked. Part of her broken heart hopes that maybe there is a flicker of glow. Every tiny hope hurts her because she knows nothing will change. Your assignment with her is done and you are where you are needed now.

She reaches out for a random mug in the cabinet but her hand stops mid movement. She shifts from one foot to another towards where the drying rack is. Without hesitation, she grabs your mug that she cleaned this morning.

Both of her hands still wrap around your mug even after she sets it on the counter. Her glossy eyes stare at your mug while she is trying hard to fight back her tears. She holds your mug the same way she held your hands before she let you go, as if her life depended on it. Her shoulders rise up slowly then sag down with her shaky breath. The silence and the emptiness are too unbearable for her. Her eyes slowly close, tears run down her cheeks at the same time your name escapes her lips barely in a whisper. “Y/N…”

A knock bleeds through the silence and she slowly opens her eyes. She sniffles and wipes her tears off her cheek. Wanda doesn’t move from where she is, almost deciding not to open it. She is too emotionally drained to respond to anything and anybody.

Then she hears another knock, firmer. This time her heart leads her steps to the door.

She opens the door slowly, her breath hitching when she sees you standing right in front of her with a weak smile. “Finally, what took you so long just to open the door?” You tease her with the last energy you have in you. She notices how pale you look and the scratches above your left eyebrow. The shock in her limits her movement.

Wanda blinks a few times. “Y/N, You..you are back.” she says it like it’s a fact that she needs to confirm. Her eyes scanned you from your hair, to your face then her eyebrows furrow in concern when she notices something different on your shoulders.

“Can I come in first, darling?” Your tone was soft and familiar but this time you wait for her answer.

Her eyes glisten slowly. “Y-yeah.” Her voice barely out of her lips. She steps away. Her eyes follow your movement when you step in. Her gaze stays on you as she closes the door behind her. Wanda notices the faint difference on your back under your thin shirt. Her breathing speeds up a little while her mind spins and her body loses the ability to move for a few seconds.

She looks at you standing in her living room.

She studies you carefully from behind as she gets another step closer. She brings her sight back to the part where she noticed since she opened her door. Reassuring herself if it is what she thought it was.

A visible scar. No wings. No glow. There are no more hidden wing structures under your shirt. Only skin with a mark of what you left behind for her.

Her lips slightly open in silence from what her eyes finally confirmed. She gets to you as close as she can. Her hand hovers behind you before touching. She hesitates to run her fingers along the scar at first but she does, tenderly and carefully. You flinch slightly when you feel her finger touch your shoulder, you slightly turn your head to her just a little bit as if it will hurt you if you turn more.

“What did they do to you?” Her whisper has a mix of protectiveness and concern tone. Her breath stutters once and her finger falters for a quick second then brushes against your skin again. You can feel the warmth and the softness from her finger from your shoulders then down to where the base of your wings were. Her hand slightly trembles as if she can feel how you feel after you lose your wings.

“They gave me choices. So here I am.” You tell her calmly.

“Was this your choice?” She asked. Her heart has the need to know that it wasn’t forced. You finally turn around. Her eyes drift down and she finds more scratches near your elbow and on your forearm.

Your eyes search for hers then look into her glistening green eyes. You answer her weakly almost in a whisper. “Yes.”

As soon as she hears the three letter word, she nods once. She takes one last step, closing the tiny gap between the two of you. Both of her hands cup your cheeks, your eyes close as soon as you feel them. Your hands naturally reach for hers, and you lean to her touch when her thumbs gently rub your cheek, absorbing her warmth like there is no tomorrow.

Then your eyes meet hers again. Soft light around the two of you, no words and no celestial presence. Just you and her with the love you both have for each other. No more rules against you and Wanda.

She blinks once, then her lips curve a soft smile at you. Her eyes twinkle.

“Let’s clean the scratches.” Her finger gently pushes some of your hair away from the scratches on your forehead.

“I’m okay. You don’t have to.” You smile at her, paying attention to every single feature on her face. Every inch of it.

She chuckles softly. “I know, but I want to.” Then she smiles back at you. With that, her grip wraps gently around your wrist before she leads you. You and Wanda naturally drift to the kitchen.

_____

You lean on the kitchen counter when she asks, “Wait here.” It wasn’t a command from her, it was just a simple form of care from her while her mind is thinking of things she should do next.

“Okay.” You oblige. You see how she looks serious and worried, eyes following wherever she moves.

“You need warm tea.” She murmurs but pauses in a fraction of a second, then turns on the stove. She sets another mug next to your usual mug. “First aid kit box, where did I put it?” She mumbles once more. Her steps falter, giving the kitchen a quick scan while her mind trying to remember where it was before she continues faintly answering her own question. “Oh yeah, it’s in here.”

You smile while watching her. Happiness sparkles in you. She notices your smile when she comes back with the first aid kit box in her hand.

“What is it? Why are you smiling?” She lets out two questions in a row.

You laugh a little, weakly. “Nothing. You just worry too much. I’m okay, love. They are just small scratches.” Wanda stops mid movement for a fleeting moment hearing the pet name you called her with, then a subtle smile naturally appears. Warmth feels her heart.

“I know, but they still need to be taken care of.” she responds. She starts to clean them gently and carefully. You look slightly down to her. The space between you and Wanda fills with her quiet concern. She glances at you then looks back to your scratches.

Her face gets the closest ever to yours. Her breath lands softly on your face and her soft scent evokes your nose. You don’t react much to the pain because your brain is still busy recalibrating what just happened. The woman you fell in love with is right in front of you, again.

Her soft voice slips between your thoughts and you bring your focus to what she says. “You are staying.” She says and her eyes glances at you.

“I am.” Your weak voice answers her with a quiet certainty.

Then her eyes drift down to your elbow and forearm, taking care of the scratches carefully. The kettle whistles like nothing extraordinary happens, the routine is back on its track.

Wanda prepares the tea right when she is done cleaning your scratches. You notice your feather on the counter.

She stretches her hand out to give you the tea that she makes in your regular mug, you take the other mug instead and let her have her tea from that usual mug. Wanda doesn’t question you, she smiles at you.

Both of you have the tea together side by side, back in the comfortable domestic silence. It feels so right. Occasional glances happen between you two.

Minutes go by so easily and feel so light. Right after Wanda notices you are done with your tea, she sets her mug down. You instinctively reach for her mug to clean it but she stops you. “No.” Her words stop you. “Just leave them there. You should rest, please?” She insists.

You nod.

With your wrist in her hand, you follow. When you both reach the space between the kitchen and living room, you walk towards the living room thinking that you would rest on the couch.

Her light pull on your wrist stops you. Perplexed, you look at her but you follow her lead towards her bedroom.

You remember the bedroom rule she set in the beginning and stop right at the door jam. She notices you stop walking then her soft gaze looks at you. “It’s okay.” She says it without hesitation and lets out a comforting small smile. Wanda opens her bedroom door slowly and steps into her room with you. The bedroom rule dissolves quietly.

Dim lights spread in the soft darkness of the room. You look around quickly. The room feels intimate but calm.

She walks into her closet real quick and comes out with clean clothes. “Wear this. I know you must be exhausted, you don’t have to change in the bathroom. You can just change right here, if you want..” She suggests.

“Okay.” You agree. Wanda was right. You are exhausted. Losing your wings feels like losing part of you, not to mention the weight difference you feel on your back makes you feel the gravity has changed.

As Wanda prepares the bed, she glances at the scar on your bare back. She quickly looks somewhere else and lets out a shaky subtle breath. Wanda can’t bear the thought of how hard and how painful you might feel from losing what has been part of you in your whole existence. Her heart wrenches just from thinking about it.

You walk to the bed once you are done getting changed.

Both of you finally settle down in bed under the blanket after that, laying on your sides face to face with a close gap between you.

You look deeply in each other's eyes, breathing closely. Her fingers trace along from your hair to your face then your cheek very delicately. She studies your face, paying attention to every single detail of it like she needs proof that you are real. She then takes your hand, turning it over slowly and carefully as if she is expecting something broken but a smile follows. “You are still here.” Her voice sounds so relieved while she is holding back a tear.

You smile back at her and nod. “And I’m not going anywhere.” You give more reassurance you know she needs.

Her hand reaches over your shoulder where your wings once anchored. Her smile is replaced by a concerned look now. She inhales then exhales slowly before she asks, “Does it hurt?”

Eye contact stays between you two. “It did.”

You pause.

“But watching you cry that morning would hurt me more.”. You continue.

Then with a softer tone you reassure her more, “I don’t regret it at all.” You smile at her. Wanda leans closer to you, her forehead almost touching yours.

She runs her fingers again where your scar is. “I hate that it hurts you.” Her voice sounds shaky as if it hurts her too.

She pauses, closes her hand around your wrist again as if she is afraid that you might vanish again.

Eyes looking at you then she whispers, “I’m not letting you go again.” Small silence comes back for a little more.

Affectionate gaze fixed at you like she is memorizing you in her mind. She gently brushes strands of your hair off your face. Her hand then cups your cheeks and thumb brushes your cheek softly.

She takes a small inhale as her lips slightly parted. Neither of you look away.

Wanda closes the distance first. The gap is mere an inch now. Hesitation visits for a half second, then she kisses your lips gently before you can say anything. Lips barely pressing together. Both of you are still for a moment, a breath finally shared in the kiss. The soft kiss was brief but intentionally.

Wanda doesn’t pull away completely after the kiss. A small exhale escapes her lips. Both of you stay close.

“I love you.” She tells you without hesitation at all.

“I know. I love you too.”

Eyes searching each other again, you both breath slowly. Neither of you move away, not even an inch.

Instead of pulling away, you make a small shift forward. You kiss Wanda again, softer this time. Your lips brush hers, with your hand lying on her arm now. The kiss lasts a little longer now. No urgency and both of you relax into the kiss. The kiss lingers.

After the kiss, foreheads touch each other and her hand is resting on your shoulder.

You and Wanda share a quiet smile. Both of you are finally allowed to stay close with each other.

“You were gone for two days.” Wanda playfully complains.

With a small apologetic smile, you reply, “In Heaven, it was only two hours.”

She squinted lightly at you after your words. Disbelief but relief written on her face. She remembers you told her that time works differently up there. “Two hours.” Wanda pauses her words briefly then she adds, “It was the worst two hours of my life.”

“You owe me a lot of tea for that.” She demands playfully , followed by a nose scrunch.

“I can make it now.” You quickly offer her a truce.

Your answer lured a free soft laughter from her. “No, you should rest. Doctor’s order.”

“Okay, Doctor Maximoff.” You reply jokingly.

Wanda shifts closer and finds your hand under the blanket then laces her fingers with yours.

She doesn’t let go.

_____

Morning light slips quietly through the window and is filtered by the time it passes the curtain. Today, Wanda wakes up before you.

Wanda woke up lying on your chest in your hug and you are still asleep. Hearing your heartbeat and your quiet breathing today makes the best morning she ever had since three years ago. She slowly slips out of the bed, trying not to wake you up.

She looks back at you in her pause and she can’t help but smile before she walks towards the door.

Her steps to the kitchen feel as light as her heart this morning. Wanda feels warm despite the cold air around her.

She pulls the drawer where you hid her coffee, pauses for a fleeting moment just to look at the coffee and she smiles before she takes it out. She starts the routine by brewing the coffee.

Next, the fruits are out and set besides the cutting board.

A few moments later, you wake up from the soft noise in the kitchen, and instinctively look for her next to you. Her side of the bed is empty then you see the light from the hallway slipping through the slightly open door and her shadow moves around.

You get up and sleepily walk to the kitchen. Hearing her hum a familiar tune. The same song you both listened to on the way back from the grocery store a few days ago while preparing breakfast. Of course, it draws a smile on you.

You hug her from behind gently so you won’t startle her, but she does anyway.

She gasps. “Y/N, you scared me. I didn’t hear you walk in.”

“Good morning, love.” You lay your chin on her shoulder, arms wrapping her body. 

She turns to you, you wrap your arms around her waist. Her hands lay on your shoulders. “Good morning. Why are you awake this early? You should rest more.”

“The coffee smell woke me up.” Then you realize one thing, you squint a little.

“You bought more coffee?” You ask her.

“Nope, I found where you hid the coffee.” She laughs.

“I will hide it better next time.” You roll your eyes playfully. “No, don’t hide our coffee again.” She refused your words and laughed.

You and Wanda then wash the mugs from last night together. Once you are both done, she turns to you again.

“How are you feeling?” She asks full of care, her eyes checking the scratches on your forehead.

As she tries to check the other scratches on your elbow and forearm, you grab her left hand and give a quick peck of kiss. “Never been better.” A smile followed right after your answer.

Relief and joy written all over her face, topped with her warm smile.

The coffee machine beeps signaling the two of you. You and Wanda look at it at the same time. “That aggressive beeping again. It interrupted our moment.”

Wanda laughs a little at your joke while shaking her head a little. As soon as Wanda tries to reach it, you stop her. “No. No. Let me.”

“Okay.” She agrees, looking at you with such adoration and goes back to what she was doing.

You pour the coffee for both of you and you notice the bagels just popped out of the toaster. She lays the plate and you take out the hot toasted bagels. Both of you are back in sync again in no time. Wanda hands you the cream cheese without looking at you then you prepare the bagel with it.

Once the bagels are ready, you grab the fruit bowl and slide it close to her right before she is done cutting the fruit. She glances at you and smiles then puts the fruits in it.

You hand her coffee and both of you lean on the kitchen counter side by side.

While both of you are having the coffee, you notice a jar of honey on the island. “You bought more honey. Good.”

“Mmhhm.” She gets one of the bagels and holds it up to feed you. “And I bought more of your sugary colorful unhealthy cereal too.” She takes a bite after you.

“Hey, it’s healthy.” You tackle her opinion.

“The milk is. Maybe I should hide the cereal from you.” You reach to her face and your thumb brushes off a tiny speck of the cream cheese on her upper lips. 

You gasp dramatically and quickly pull your hand away from her. “Don’t you dare hide my cereal.” A fake pout shows on your face.

Both of you laugh while looking at each other. Then continue having breakfast together in the very comfortable silence of this happy morning.

Wanda watches you drinking more of your coffee. “You are not in a rush.” She beams and her eyes sparkle.

“Should I be?” You ask.

“No.” She shakes her head once.

Wanda pauses for a good two seconds before she adds, “Good.” Joy dances through her heart. She feels like she is floating and elation bubbles up in her.

Both of you hold eye contact and smile. Wanda holds your hand.

She didn’t let go.

Cupid was here and love stayed.

A/N: Let me know what you think. I would really appreciate your comments, reblogs and input. Follow for more and see you in next.

Cheerio!

Chellez TjS

As if you still haven't figured it out, one of them walked forward and offered his hand for you to shake.

"Billy?" Then he pointed his thumb to the guy beside him. "And Tommy? You used to babysit us when we were eight years old?"

Forcing a nervous chuckle, you said, "Of course, Billy and Tommy. How could I forget?"

How could you ever forget?

Ten years had passed and it was as if it was only yesterday when you last saw them.

"Gosh, you're both so tall, you had outgrown me," you said, now laughing as you compared each other's heights. Although you hoped it wasn't a shaky laugh.

They both joined in laughter. "Nah, I'm taller than Billy now," Tommy added.

"By an inch," Billy protested. "And that doesn't even count."

There was a short pause as you tried to regain your calm posture. You wouldn't want the twins to know how their presence truly affected you. But you couldn't stop the rapid beating of your heart for what was about to come no matter how hard you tried.

So you placed your hand on your chest as you said, forcing a smile, "It's been so long."

"Yeah, it is," Billy confirmed. "We haven't seen you around in Westview anymore. Do you live here now?"

"In New Jersey actually," you replied. "I'm just here for work."

"Wait, you work here?"

You shouldn't have said that but you nodded. "I teach Creative writing."

"No way," Billy said excitedly, clutching Tommy's arm. "We're actually planning to enroll here for College. Mom's at the lobby right now talking to the Dean. Tommy here hasn't fully decided yet on what course to take."

Upon the mention of Wanda's name, you immediately tensed, clutching your chest a bit harder, as if you forgot how to breathe.

"That's— That's great, you guys," you stuttered a reply. "You'll both gonna love it here."

"Wait, Mom's heading this way," Tommy said as he waved at someone from a distance.

Quick as lightning, you glanced at your wristwatch and moved a step backwards. "Shoot, I'm terribly sorry but I have to be somewhere five minutes ago. It's great to see you guys though."

"Oh, it's okay Y/n," Billy said. "We'll just see you later then."

YOU MUST have run like crazy after you left like you were really in a hurry. You had joined marathons in the past couple of years yet you weren't trained to avoid someone like this as fast as you could.

Your heart was still thudding so loud in your chest upon reaching your office. Closing and locking the door, you leaned your back against it as you closed your eyes and tried to regain your own breathing.

That was a close one, you thought.

"I didn't know you jog in your suit," Kate greeted, making you jump.

You opened your eyes and saw Kate on her table. You had completely forgotten you shared the office along with three other faculty members.

Exhaling heavily, you turned around to peep through the glass door. No sign of any brunette that had haunted your dreams.

"You okay?" You jumped again when Kate suddenly touched your shoulder.

"Sorry," you answered as you looked at her.

"Why so jumpy?" Kate gave you a concerned laugh.

"I- I just. . ."

Kate stopped laughing and held your shoulders. "Okay, breathe, Y/n."

It took you almost a minute to regain your normal breathing. Then you stepped away from your bestfriend and took a seat on the side of your desk.

"I just saw Tommy and Billy," you began breathlessly.

Kate waited but when you didn't add any more words, she asked, "Who are Tommy and Billy?"

"Wanda's twins," you replied.

Her brows furrowed deeper as she thought for a while. "Wait, Wanda the milf you hooked up with in college?"

You glared at her before she quickly apologized. "Sorry, but I also have eyes, Y/n, she was definitely a milf back then. But what are they doing here?"

"She's looking up universities and colleges for her boys."

"Does she know you work here?"

"Probably, I don't know. I just told Billy and Tommy though, so they probably told her."

And when you started to hyperventilate again upon the realization, Kate stepped forward.

"Look, calm down-"

"How am I supposed to calm down?"

"Because you're already safe, Y/n."

"What?"

"She can no longer threaten you for something that happened ten years ago. Gee, she might even have saggy skin that you would no longer recognize her."

Kate was right. You had your own apartment now. Your own car. Your own stable job. Plus, you were finally having your book published. You have built your own reputation here.

And you won't ever let her destroy that. She doesn't have the upper hand right now.

"You're right," you said, smiling. "I'm no longer a helpless student."

"Right, and if any, she'd be the one who's stupid to think she can actually scare you."

Kate had a point. You shouldn't be scared as you were ten years ago. That little old you did not exist anymore.

BUT WHEN the first person you saw the next morning standing outside your office was none other than the woman herself, it would seem that all the self assurance you did last night vanished at the sight of her.

And of course, she didn't have saggy skin like an old woman do. Wanda still looked like a goddess with perfect long brown hair and the mesmerizing greenest pair of eyes you have ever seen. She looked like she hadn't aged a bit. It was unfair.

When yours and her eyes met, you completely froze, as if you haven't gotten used to look at her like that. It used to end up with you screaming at her in your nightmares, for how cruel she was for making you both love and hate her.

"Y/n," Wanda called softly. And you hated to admit her voice still sound so angelic in your ears.

"Miss Stark," you greeted back, clutching the strap of your bag tighter, as if you needed it as a weapon in case she'd attack.

"I . . . I'm not anymore." She smiled shyly as she waved her fingers sporting no rings at all. "So you can still call me Wanda."

You simply just nodded back and wondered how you completely lost your voice.

"Ummm, my twins," Wanda began, noticing the awkward tension between the two of you. "Billy and Tommy, they told me you met them yesterday and I just missed you. We're still looking where they wanna go. But I think Tommy now likes it here because of a familiar face."

You tried not to overthink it. But Wanda's smile brought you shivers.

"What's he taking?" you managed to ask.

"Either Psychology or Biology."

You nodded, now avoiding her eyes. "Well, it's in another building, right after the entrance. You might have missed it, the pathway was covered with shrubs as tall as lamp posts."

Wanda swallowed as she nodded then shook her head. "Yes, no, I mean yes, I have been there this morning. I talked to them earlier before I got here. Do you know Dr. Hill? I kind of asked her about you and my, you're famous around here, she told me where your office is," she chuckled shakily, "and here we are."

You licked your lips nervously. "Yeah, here we are."

Wanda took a small step forward, her fingers appeared to be trembling. "I actually kind of wanted to talk to you about—"

And you immediately knew what she was going to speak about.

"It's a long time, Miss Maximoff. I kind of forgot about it now," you interrupted with a forced smile.

You knew Wanda tensed upon the mention of her maiden name. She hadn't heard you use that name before ever directed at her.

She smiled back rather forcefully as she nodded. "Right, right. Regardless, I just really want to apologize. What I did was so—"

"Heartless?" you suggested coyly.

She stopped and looked at you, her green eyes piercing right at you.

You chuckled as you stepped towards your office. "Believe me, my younger self would really hate you right now. But years have gone by, let's just forgive and forget as the saying goes."

After inserting the key into the keyhole, you entered the office rather hurriedly. But a soft delicate hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you. She pulled away instantly and you cursed youself for feeling disappointed, for wanting to touch her.

"If it's not any bother, Y/n. Can we have this talk over some coffee? You know, catch up with all those years that passed. I . . . You’re having your book published and I'm really excited for you—"

"Really preoccupied right now," you butted in, forcing a frown. "Sorry-"

"Not right now." She laughed as she went on. "Me and the twins were actually staying at The Avengers hotel just right around the corner just beside this-"

"Yeah, I know where that is."

Wanda nodded. "How about tonight then?"

"Tonight," you appeared to be in thought, "I got to be somewhere." And you knew you really sounded like you were only making things up just to avoid spending time with her. You still hoped Wanda would catch that.

But she didn't.

"Okay, how about tomorrow then? Tommy will be looking forward to talk with you about this university. I'm also kind of thinking if I should rent him an apartment or apply him to the dormitory, whatever suggestion you have will be greatly appreciated."

God. You had no idea how Wanda could get so desperate.

"Okay, sure. Sure," you finally relented, wanting to just get rid of her.

This brought a genuine huge smile on Wanda's face as she reiterated what time and if she could get your number. You gave her a fake one, although it appeared only as a typo.

SOMEHOW, Wanda still figured out later that night and you received a message from an unknown number you knew was from her.

See you tomorrow :)

But you didn't go the next day, as promised.

Even the next day after that, as you replied you couldn't to her messages. At least, you were still nice to respond back.

"I HEARD some hot lady was looking for you," Kate teased the moment you entered the office one morning. It had been a week since your last encounter with Wanda.

The other faculty member, Yelena laughed. "Look, I didn't know who she was when I bumped into her. I might have hit on her but that's besides the point."

You completely ignored them as they went on laughing.

Kate added, "Okay, from now on, when you guys see Wanda, you should tell her to get lost."

You turned this time. "Nobody would do such a thing."

Kate frowned. "Don't tell me you've already gone soft for her. Do you even remember what you went through—"

"I do, unfortunately I still do, Kate. But I don't want it to appear as if she still affects me that much."

"Hate to burst your bubble Y/n, but why are you still avoiding her?" Yelena asked after a small pause, noticing you nervously taking a seat at your desk. "I mean if you want to move on from someone, you need to have closure."

Kate disagreed. "There needs to be no closure between them. Wanda doesn't deserve that. She deserves to rot in hell for what she did."

"And I wish for that too, Kate," you said. "But nothing good comes out of it, it's been ten years."

"Well, do it for yourself then," Yelena suggested.

"What?"

"Closure for yourself, not for her."

IT WAS finally nighttime when you reached your apartment. It wasn't a shady area, you had grown accustomed to it. But you were still cautious.

You knew you could afford a much safer place but it would have to do for the meantime. You were saving up for a house someday in the suburbs, far from the city, with white picket fence and small little feet running around the backyard. Although, it would require someone special to spend that life with and you had not been active on that part. The gods above wouldn't just send you an angel to love, readily available for you. Life doesn't work like that.

The guard stopped you the moment you almost hopped into the elevator of your apartment building.

"Some woman was looking for you, Miss Y/l/n," he said, straightening his eyeglasses. "I think her name starts with one, but I couldn't remember if it's one the number or something else."

You sighed, immediately knowing. Then you stepped out the elevator. "Did you tell her where I live?"

He shook his head. "No. I told her to text you and wait."

"But we have no waiting area?"

"I think she went inside that coffee shop across the street."

BUT SHE wasn't in there when you went to check. The shop was barely empty with last few customers for the day.

"Y/n," the barrista named Christine called. You were a regular in that shop, having to buy coffees every day before you go to work. "Some lady was looking for you."

She said it with a flirty smile, but you hadn't really noticed it until Kate pointed it out one time she visited your apartment and you both decided to get coffee.

"Yeah?" You were hopeful, but glancing around, not a familiar brunette could be seen.

"But she was also looking for alcohol and we don't serve them," she explained. "She probably went to Hydra's bar, I think it's still open."

You knew then to go after her, suddenly panicking as you grew worried for the older woman. You're still a human. You still care for her.

And right you were, there was a commotion inside the bar as two men appeared to be in a heated argument with Wanda on the counter.

"I already told you I'm not interested," you heard Wanda snap drunkenly, although she had no success in getting the men's hands off her.

Growing furious at them, you quickly stomped towards the counter. "Hey, Mom! You're here," you said, forcing a smile.

"Mom?" one of the men asked, making him disinterested and step back. "I didn't know you're already a mother."

You pulled Wanda from the counter as you paid the bartender. He only smiled apologetically your way.

The other man maintained his stance. "Don't worry. I could handle you being a milf."

But you shoved him away, making him lose his balance and stagger until he fell on the floor.

Anger filled you as you hurriedly made your way to the exit with Wanda in tow. She was holding unto you tight, although the way she was swaying, made you wonder if she had waited for you for a long time and had a couple more drinks.

"Mom? I like that." She giggled. "You hadn't called me that for years and outside the bedroom."

Your face flushed red as you carefully crossed the street and led her to your apartment.

"You smell so good, Y/n," she went on, her head on your neck and hand cupping your face, as she laughed heartily. Then her nose leaned in and sniffed you noisily, lips barely touching your skin bringing goosebumps. "I miss you terribly."

Quickly apologizing, you climbed off her and hurriedly went to your drawers.

You had managed to carry her into your apartment. Once you had placed her unto your bed with difficulty, her eyes opened wider as if waking up when both of your faces were merely inches away. You even staggered from her grasp, falling right down on top of her. It would seem others would see this as coupling. You panted breathlessly as your gazes met, your arms holding yourself on each side of her head while hers wrapped around your neck, bodies pressing against each other. Oh, how you miss her too.

Although very against your will, you lent some of your fresh clothes for her to wear for the night. And she looked so much beautiful with her in it as she made her way to your bed. You could feel her eyes at you on the comforter on the floor but you stayed silent, wanting her to understand how you want nothing to do with her. This was just a nice gesture, nothing more.

As you slept, you dreamed about that one night she saved you.

There was a time that anything that remotely felt like a fight was a no go. You never wanted to fight with Wanda, nothing about arguing with her seemed pleasant. In the beginning it was obvious she was scared and all of it was new. You danced around obvious issues the two of you had. One issue was a rather big one being Vision. It was strange their connection. It was something you knew would have easily gone the other way had you not been in the picture. They understood each other; you felt like the odd man out in your own relationship with her. It wasn’t until you exploded one day that the issue was addressed. Thinking back Wanda should have seen this coming. It almost ended the relationship before it really even began. She was tempted to call you, she really was. But she’d just crossed a very big boundary. Instead she texted Kate.

Her text was read almost immediately the text bubble kept appearing but nothing was sent. Wanda instead sent another message. ‘I’ll meet you at the gate, lose Y/n for a minute and I’ll give you her passport.’ She only received a thumbs up and she was on her way. It was high time Wanda started taking action. She wasn’t going to fail you now. 

You were lying. You had no idea where you got the confidence from but it was a complete lie. You loved her so much it hurt. She didn’t read your mind that time and it hurt that she believed you. Tears welled in your eyes, this day wasn’t supposed to go like this. You were supposed to leave peacefully, and now you had no idea what you were doing. She shook you. Wanda came into your life and turned it upside down and now she’s done it again. It was rough. Kate had been fidgety for the past twenty minutes. “Are you okay?” You managed to get the words out. She stilled wide eyed. “Uhm shouldn’t I be asking you that?” You hummed. “Probably… I’m just tired of the same thing over and over again.” You sighed. “There are so many things that I wanted to say. But she was right in front of me and the words disappeared.” Kate nodded, her eyes still fixed on the road. 

“Do you think… that uhm you’ll get back together?” She asked the obvious question. It only made your shoulders deflate more. Not because she asked, “It’s not up to me.” but because of how pitiful the answer was. And it was entirely up to her. You hadn't even been able to bring yourself to draft the papers. The fear that she’d actually sign them still managed to keep you up at night. What if she did, what then? “My heart… it aches constantly. Like something was ripped from me.” Kate cleared her throat. “You’re leaving Y/n… You're going abroad for god knows how long.” You nodded. “How else can I show her what she’s doing to me? Years Kate I’ve put up with it for years.” Kate nodded. “I did not suffer in silence, I let her know at every turn how she was compromising us.” Your words were laced with anger and conviction. And so quickly the sadness gave way to raw anger.  

Wanda felt she should have thought this entire situation out more. Here she was in her car on her way to the airport, filled with hundreds if not thousands of people. And the most daunting part being that you’re unaware. Her mind was already starting to hold her hostage. She made the treck mostly on autopilot. Then there was the whole getting through security, nothing her powers couldn’t handle. Only she somehow couldn’t. She had not felt this lack of control since ultron, she was tripping where she had learned repeatedly not to. It was overwhelming navigating through the masses of people trying to get to their flights, homes, families. Everyone's thoughts traversed constantly. Eventually and not without struggle she had found Kate, near a coffee shop.

“Finally! I thought you’d make this hard for me.” Kate’s words washed right through her. The only thing she could hear now was an angry ring, mocking her. She shook her head softly trying to dissipate the sound. Then she stilled, she could sense it. Her powers out of pure reflex sought you out. And another pang of sadness ran through her. She’d never been able to sense your anger. A slap in the face a testament as to how unwelcome she truly was. A tug at her arm brought her back. She was clutching your passport in her hand. The folder already in Kate’s possession. Kate sighed. “Are you okay?” She relented and finally asked the question. That seemed to snap her out of whatever trance she was in. She let go of the Passaport like it burned her. Kate noticed her distress and asked again. “My powers… are acting up, I'll be fine.” Kate nodded, not fully convinced. 

Kate had decided she’d throw Wanda a life line. She did not think someone could make a change so drastically in a matter of hours. This Wanda that was standing in front of her was not the same one she witnessed yell indignantly at you. This Wanda looked defeated, vulnerable. “She’s still waiting for you…” Kate said. Taking the woman in, and for a moment she wasn’t sure Wanda had heard her. Then tears started rolling down her face. “I don’t think she is…” the words came out tersely and clipped. “She's angry, she has every right to be. That doesn’t change the fact that she’s waiting… so give her time.” Kate sighed, taking a step back. “Fight for her…” She turned on her heel and walked away. Wanda seconds later managed to do the same. Her resolve slowly cemented.

Kate made her way back just as you started looking for her. She looks slightly flushed. Two coffees in hand, a folder tucked in between her arm and torso. Your eyes widened at the sight. “I didn’t even realize I was missing that!” You exclaimed. Taking a cup out of her hand, and the folder at the same time. “Kate, you're a lifesaver.” She nodded, taking a long sip of her drink. Then silence followed, you could have sworn you felt something. It made your heart race. You remembered the familiar feeling. A slight fuzz just out of reach in your mind. You couldn’t help but look around. Could it be, or was it just her lingering in your mind. Then once again Kate brought you back into the present. “Here your boarding group is about to be called.” Kate pulled you up from your seat making toward the line now forming.

Right as your ticket was scanned. She pulled you to the side slightly. “Promise you’re coming back.” You managed a small smile. “I will, I don’t think your mother will keep me away forever.” You joked. Keeping an eye on the people boarding. Kate nodded trying to reassure herself. “You forgot your passport… she brought them here. That's why I was gone for a minute.” Your heart started racing. “I didn’t want to keep it from you.” Then before you could even respond an airline worker was ushering through into the boarding tunnel. The last thing Kate managed to say was for you to call her when you landed. 

A/n: Please leave a like if you liked it!!! Late because I completely forgot to schedule. :(

It was late at night, you were watching a film after the long tedious day you had when a sudden knock on your door pulls your attention away from the television.

Choosing to ignore the insistent knocking because of the late hour you higher the volume on your tv. Causing the knocks on your door to suddenly seize.

But after a few minutes they begin once again so you let out a sigh before standing up from your comfortable couch and making your way over to your door. Peering through the peephole before you, cursing under your breath at the person on the other side of the door.

“Please detka, open up,” you hear Wanda say and you hold your breath, “I know you’re there, I can feel you,” she whispers and you roll your eyes but nonetheless open up your door.

“What are you doing here Wanda?” You ask harshly, not content to see your ex.

“I was finishing a mission up in the area and I- well, may I come in?” The witch asks softly and you scoff.

“Sure,” you answer, opening your door some more and moving to the side to make room for the redhead.

“So…” she begins as you both stand in the foyer of your home, “it’s good to see you, how have you been?” Wanda asks, looking around your house, eyes taking in how much you’ve erased her from your life.

“Is that really what you came to ask?” You say, a humorless chuckle escaping your lips.

“Uh, no, I didn’t-” Wanda stutters, shaking her head as tears brim in her eyes at your hostility. “Wait. Where’s Sparky?” The witch asks as she looks around, the lack of presence of the dog you once shared making itself known.

“Sparky died. Two years ago,” you say, posture rigged as you cross your arms on your chest to keep the hurt at bay. The redhead witch looking at you with pity, a look you hate coming from everyone, especially her.

“Y/N/N, I’m so sorry- I didn’t- I didn’t know” she begins, but you cut her off with a hand in the air.

“Look Wanda, it’s late,” you sigh, running a hand through your hair. “I had a long day and I’m not really up for whatever this is,” you say gesturing between you both. “So uh, could you please leave. Also why don’t you call next time before just showing up at my house, alright?” You say as you begin walking towards your door to escort Wanda out.

“You know I can’t call you, not after you blocked my number,” the witch says, and you scoff.

“And yet, you somehow still don’t get the hint that I want nothing to do with you,” you say and Wanda sighs.

“Y/N please, you don’t have to be like this,” Wanda whispers, from behind you as she slowly follows after you, her words making you halt your steps immediately, making you sharply turn around.

“Be like what exactly, Wanda?” You question harshly, a deadly look in your eyes. “You show up to my home, in the middle of the fucking night, asking about Sparky and you want me to just what? Be okay with that?” You ask as you look at Wanda which is when you notice her misty eyed look. “Jesus,” you begin, shaking your head incredulously, “you’ve been drinking.”

“What, no?” The witch chuckles nervously, as she puts a strand of hair behind her ear, her eyes flitting around to avoid yours.

“Do not lie to me Maximoff,” you say seriously and Wanda breathes before meeting your eyes.

“Look I had one drink, okay,” she says and you immediately know it’s a lie.

“Have you been seeing your therapist? Are you still attending your AA meetings?” You ask, your mask slipping, allowing Wanda to see your genuine concern.

“Look, that doesn’t matter right now. I just came because I miss you baby,” Wanda begins, taking a step towards you, causing you to step back.

“Stop, you don’t get to say that to me,” you say, the mask of indifference slipping as each minute that Wanda is with you passes, “now please, leave.” You say pointing to your door.

“Please, I haven’t seen you in years, I just- I want to spend time with you-“ she begins, but you cut her off.

“Look Wanda, you may not have seen me in years, but I can’t say the same about you,” you begin, “Because I see you. I see you EVERYDAY, every damn day. I see you on my way to work, because you’re all over the damn billboards. I see you when I’m watching my favorite TV shows, because you just happen to be in every goddamn commercial. So yeah, I may be out of your life, but unfortunately you’re still very much in mine, and you have no idea how hard that is. How hard I desperately want to move on, but I can’t because I am constantly reminded of you, and what we had so please, do me a favor and leave me the hell alone,” you say, ending your rant with tears finally slipping past your eyes.

“I’m sorry love, I didn’t know I- look, I’m really sorry,” Wanda stutters.

“I don’t want your apologies, okay?” You say, shaking your head harshly, “I just want you to leave me the hell alone so that I can try to continue building on my life. Alright, so go back to your Avengers tower, go back to the life of glitz and glamour you so desperately wanted,” you yell, arms flailing in distress. “Go back to the life where you could drink and fuck whoever you wanted without a care in the world, alright. Return to playing house with Vision and please just forget about me like how I’m trying to forget about you!” You exclaim, causing Wanda to stumble backwards into your wall before a humorless laugh escapes her lips and she slides down the wall, tears rushing down her face.

“I can’t go back,” she begins, hands trembling in distress. “I don’t want to go back,” she whispers, looking up at you from the ground with the most bewildered eyes you’ve seen on her and you frown before you kneel down in front of the redhead witch.

“Wanda, what? What’s going on? Talk to me. What happened?” You ask softly.

“It’s just too hard, I can’t- I can’t do it anymore,” she cries, as leans her face further into your hands, body trembling as she takes in sobbing breaths.

“Yes you can Max, this is what you’ve always wanted, the life of a hero, you’ll figure it out, you always do,” you whisper encouragingly.

“No, no, you don’t get it. There’s just been so many casualties. I lost you and I just don’t think I can’t get past this,” she cries, moving forward to hug you.

“You will, Wanda, you’ll figure it out, you always do,” you say, hugging her before pulling back slightly to cup her face in your hands, “you’re the smartest person I know Max,” you say with a soft smile, “you’ll get through it.” You whisper, thumbs softly caressing her cheekbones. Causing Wanda to look into your eyes before moving forward suddenly and pressing her lips into yours. “Wanda.” You begin in between kisses, “no, no, this isn’t a good idea,” you say, pulling back slightly causing Wanda to follow after you.

“Baby, please,” she whispers brokenly.

“No Wanda, you’re clearly drunk,” you say before pulling away to stand, “and I’m tired of playing this back and forth game with you. So if there’s nothing else I can do for you, I’m going to have to ask you to leave and let you know that you definitely shouldn't come back. I can't keep doing this, it’s not healthy for you or for me,” you sigh and Wanda nods solemnly.

“I’m sorry I keep hurting you, one day I’ll be good enough for you. I promise,” Wanda says once she makes it to your door and you shake your head when she turns to face you.

“I’m not holding my breath for empty promises anymore Wanda, just go,” you say full of resignation and the witch swallows the knot in her throat.

“I truly am sorry,” Wanda says one last time.

The sterile white walls and beeping monitors were constant reminders that you were alone. It wasn’t just the physical pain—the ache in your abdomen that flared every time you moved—but the emptiness that settled deep in your chest, far more painful than the wound itself.

Days blurred into one another, filled with nothing but the low hum of medical equipment and the occasional visit from the team. Natasha came by when she could, sitting by your bed with gentle words of encouragement, trying to make you laugh. Sam would swing by too, cracking jokes that only barely lifted the suffocating weight you felt. Steve made a few appearances, his hand on your shoulder, telling you how strong you were, how you’d be back on your feet in no time.

But they couldn’t fill the void. Not really.

Because every time the door to the medbay opened, a part of you hoped it would be her. You waited for Wanda, every second stretching into an eternity, hoping that she’d come back and say she loved you.

Once you were healed and out the medbay , something in you shifted. It wasn’t immediate—more like a slow, creeping numbness that settled in over time. At first, it was just avoiding her, making sure you weren’t in the same room if you didn’t have to be. But the distance didn’t stop there. Soon, you found yourself pulling away from everyone, isolating more and more until you were just a shadow moving through the compound.

You stuck to a strict routine now: wake up early, hit the training room before anyone else is awake, then disappear into your quarters for hours on end, either preparing for missions or finding a way to distract yourself. Solo missions have become your escape, and you volunteer for every one, no matter how dangerous or tedious. Anything to get away from the compound. From her.

The team has noticed. Of course they have. Natasha has tried to get you to open up, but you always find a way to deflect. “Just focused,” you’d tell her, throwing on a smile that you know she doesn’t believe. Steve’s asked you to join in on a few team exercises, but you decline, claiming you need to work on personal skills. Even Tony has made a few snide remarks about you turning into a recluse, though there’s concern in his eyes.

The compound itself feels suffocating. The once comfortable space where you’d joke with the others, share meals, and decompress after missions has now become a maze of memories you’re trying to avoid. Everywhere you go, you feel Wanda’s presence—whether it’s the soft hum of her magic in the halls or just the weight of her lingering gaze when you pass each other in silence.

You keep your interactions with the team to the bare minimum. A nod here, a muttered response there. Nothing more than what’s necessary. It’s easier that way. Easier than facing the questions, the pity, the inevitable confrontation with Wanda that you know is coming but can’t bring yourself to endure.

The training room became your sanctuary. You pushed yourself harder and harder each day, punishing your body until it screams for rest. It’s the only thing that makes you feel anything—the burn of your muscles, the sting of exhaustion. It drowns out the ache in your chest, even if just for a little while.

You’ve been reckless, too. Clint’s called you out for taking unnecessary risks in the field, and even Steve’s noticed your tactics have become more desperate. You don’t care. The danger keeps your mind off her.

When you’re not on a mission or in the training room, you’re holed up in your room, avoiding any social gatherings. Movie nights, dinners, even simple conversations in the kitchen—they’ve all become a thing of the past. You can’t stand the thought of sitting there, pretending everything’s fine while Wanda’s just a few feet away, acting as though you’re not both suffocating in the same silence.

Wanda was desperate for things to go back to the way they were.

It’s a quiet afternoon in the compound, the sun casting soft light through the large windows as you make your way to the kitchen. You’ve been trying to avoid everyone—especially her—but it’s almost impossible to escape entirely when you live under the same roof. You tell yourself that grabbing a cup of coffee and heading back to your room won’t take more than a minute. You can slip in and out without a problem.

But, of course, she’s already there.

Wanda stands by the counter, absentmindedly stirring a mug of tea. The second you step into the kitchen, her eyes flick up, and you can see that familiar spark of warmth—of friendship, or whatever’s left of it—light up her face.

“Hey,” she says softly, her voice cautious but hopeful, like she’s testing the waters.

You force a neutral expression, giving her a small nod. “Hey.”

She smiles a little, and for a split second, it’s like nothing has changed. Like the last few months of distance and silence never happened. She moves over to the counter where the coffee maker is, just a few feet from where you stand, and her presence feels too close. Too familiar. Too painful.

“I was thinking…” Wanda starts, her tone casual, like she’s trying to bridge the gap, “maybe we could do something this weekend? Watch a movie or—” She pauses, her voice faltering as she notices the stiffness in your posture. “You know, like we used to.”

The words hang in the air, a thin thread of hope dangling between you. It’s tempting, that old dynamic, that easy friendship. But you can’t. Not anymore.

You force a tight smile, keeping your tone as neutral as possible. “I… don’t think I’ll have time this weekend. Lots of mission reports to catch up on. I’m, uh, heading out for another mission soon too.”

Her face falls, just a little, but she quickly hides it behind another smile. “Oh, okay. Maybe when you get back?”

“Yeah,” you say, but it’s hollow. You’re not sure you believe it. “Maybe.”

You pour your coffee in silence, the tension between you thick and suffocating. She’s standing so close, so desperate to pull things back to what they were, but you can’t meet her halfway. You’re too hurt, too angry. And you can see it in her eyes—the sadness, the regret—but she’s still acting like everything’s fine. Like she didn’t break you that day.

Wanda tries again, her voice quieter this time. “It doesn’t have to be weird, you know. We’re still… friends.”

Friends. The word stings. You clench your jaw and take a long sip of your coffee, pretending like the statement didn’t just slice through you. “Right.”

There’s an awkward pause. Wanda shifts uncomfortably, her fingers tightening around her mug as she watches you, waiting for something—anything—from you. But you can’t give her what she wants. You can’t pretend like things haven’t changed.

You clear your throat, already looking for an excuse to leave. “I, uh… actually, I’ve got to get to the training room.” It’s not a complete lie. You do spend most of your time there now, drowning out the ache with physical exhaustion. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

You’re already halfway out of the kitchen when you hear her soft reply. “Yeah. Okay.”

You don’t look back. You can’t.

As you walk down the hall, your heart aches with every step, but you shove it down, burying it beneath layers of numbness. Wanda wants to pretend everything’s normal, but it’s not. It can’t be. And right now, the only way you can protect yourself is by keeping that distance.

The door to the training room closes behind you, and with it, the mask you’ve been wearing all day shatters. Alone again, you drop your coffee cup onto the bench and run a hand through your hair, the sharp sting of tears prickling behind your eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek hard, desperate to stop them from falling, but it’s no use. The pain is too much, too raw. It claws at your insides, demanding to be felt.

You hate this. You hate yourself. For ruining everything. For letting your feelings get in the way of the one thing that mattered most—your friendship with Wanda. How could I have been so stupid? The thought echoes in your mind like a broken record, repeating over and over until it becomes a dull roar in your ears. You could have kept it to yourself, should have kept it to yourself. If only you had stayed quiet, swallowed your love like a bitter pill, maybe things would still be the way they were.

But no. You had to go and spill your heart out, thinking—hoping—that maybe she felt the same. That maybe there was a chance.

Now, all you have is the hollow, gnawing emptiness of her rejection. The distance that’s grown between you feels like a chasm, and every day that passes, it only gets wider. Wanda’s attempts to act like nothing’s changed cut deeper than any words. You hate that you can’t just let it go and pretend like she can. You hate that your love for her consumes you so completely, making it impossible to act normal, to act like the wound she left in you isn’t still bleeding.

And the worst part? The nightmares.

Every night, you dream of her. But it’s never the Wanda you used to know—the one who would laugh with you, who understood you better than anyone else. No, the Wanda in your dreams is cruel, her words laced with venom. She stands in front of you, her face twisted in disgust as she calls you stupid, pathetic, for ever thinking she could love you. “Did you really think I could love someone like you?” she sneers. “I had the greatest love of my life with Vision, and you—you’re just a joke.”

Each time, you wake up drenched in sweat, your chest tight with grief and shame, your body aching from the weight of the rejection that follows you, even in sleep. It’s torture. You’ve stopped trying to sleep altogether, throwing yourself into training, into missions, into anything that can distract you from the gnawing pain that follows you around like a shadow.

And Wanda…God, Wanda.

Every time she sees you now, her stomach twists into knots, guilt pulling at her like a heavy chain she can’t escape. She’s tried to reach out, tried to act like nothing’s changed, but every time she sees the neutral expression on your face, every time you make some excuse to leave, it’s like a dagger to her chest. She knows you’re hurting, knows that you think she doesn’t care—but she does. She cares more than she ever could have imagined.

The lie she told you that day, the one that broke you? It’s been haunting her ever since.

She can still see the look on your face when she said she didn’t love you, that she couldn’t be with you. It wasn’t just the hurt she saw—it was the betrayal. She knew what you had gone through just to tell her how you felt, how much courage it must’ve taken to lay your heart bare, while you were dying.

You weren’t entirely lying to her, you did have a mission coming up, it just wasn’t planned.

“Hey got another solo, if your up for it,” Nat proposed as she entered the training room, your fist rhythmically beating the punching bag.

“You know it,” you breathed, stopping the bag swinging.

“you leave in an hour,” she pursed a smile, dropping the file onto the bench next to your cold and forgotten coffee.

The mission had been simple enough on paper—intel gathering, no need for backup, in and out. You’d handled it alone plenty of times before, so it made sense that Steve signed off on this one without hesitation. What he didn’t know was how messy things had gotten.

You’d gone in hard and fast, ignoring the usual caution you’d been trained to follow. Maybe a part of you wanted it that way—needed the adrenaline, the distraction. You fought recklessly, pushing yourself further than you should’ve, not caring about the consequences. A knife wound here, slams into a couple walls there—it didn’t matter. You kept going, forcing yourself through the pain.

By the time you made it back to the jet, your body was screaming at you to stop, but you didn’t. You were trained for this, after all. No matter how bad the bleeding was, no matter how sharp the pain in your side, you forced yourself to pilot the jet back to the compound.

As you limped down the ramp, the pain finally caught up with you. Your side was drenched in blood, the makeshift bandage you’d wrapped around yourself soaked through. But still, you didn’t care. You just wanted to get back to your room and forget about everything. Forget about the pain in your body, and more importantly, the pain you couldn’t shake from your heart.

You didn’t think anyone noticed as you made your way through the compound, each step sending a fresh wave of agony through your body. But as you reached your door, your vision swam, and you realized you’d left a trail of blood behind you. That wasn’t great.

You managed to get inside, closing the door behind you with a quiet thud. Sitting down on the edge of your bed, you glanced at the mission report in your hand, half-written and filled with details you barely remembered jotting down in the jet. You were too out of it to finish the thing properly, but at least you’d gotten it done. You tossed it aside, planning to sleep the pain off.

But then there was a knock on your door.

You didn’t need to open it to know who was on the other side. A cold dread settled in your stomach as Steve’s voice called out, “Y/n? Open the door.

You stood, slowly, wincing as the pain flared again, and opened the door just enough to see Steve standing there. His eyes immediately flickered down to the blood staining your clothes, then to the trail leading from the jet.

His expression shifted, brows knitting together. “What the hell happened?”

You forced a shrug, downplaying it. “Got the job done, didn’t I?”

Steve’s eyes hardened. “At what cost?”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.” You tried to shut the door, but Steve pushed it open, stepping inside.

He stared at you, his jaw clenched tight, then glanced around the room—at the blood, at the half-done mission report, picking it up and looking it over “You didn’t say anything in your report about getting injured.”

“I didn’t think it was relevant,” you muttered, turning away from him.

“Bleeding out isn’t relevant?” His voice was sharp now, frustration clear. “You’re limping, leaving a trail of blood through the entire compound, and you think it’s nothing?”

“It’s just a scratch,” you shot back, trying to keep your tone even, but the exhaustion and pain were getting to you. “I don’t need you to babysit me, Steve.”

“That’s not what this is about,” Steve said, his voice quieter but no less firm. “This is about you being reckless. You could’ve gotten yourself killed out there, Clint’s already mentioned the other risks you’ve been taking.”

You turned on him, the anger rising in your chest. “What difference does it make? The mission was a success. I’m alive. Isn’t that what matters?”

Steve stepped forward, his eyes searching yours. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing’s going on,” you snapped, pulling away from him. “I’m doing my job.”

“No, you’re not,” he shot back, his tone sharper now. “You’re pushing yourself too far, and it’s not just today. “Look i don’t no what happened but ever since–,” He hesitated, his expression softening for a moment. “Ever since you and Wanda stopped hanging out, you’ve been different. You’re not thinking straight. You’re taking unnecessary risks, maybe you should talk to her…clear whatever it is up.”

You scoffed, turning away from him. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” Steve said, stepping closer again. “And I’m not going to sit by and watch you destroy yourself.”

You clenched your jaw, the frustration and anger boiling over. “You don’t get it, Steve. You don’t—” Your voice cracked, and you swallowed hard, trying to keep it together. “It doesn’t matter.”

Steve’s expression softened. “I know you’re hurting, y/n. But this isn’t the way to deal with it.”

You shook your head, trying to push down the rising emotion. “I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity,” he said, his voice calm but firm. “It’s concern. You’re part of this team, and right now, you’re a danger to yourself.”

You turned to face him, your chest tight with anger and frustration. “So what? You’re gonna bench me?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, not missing a beat. “I am.

Your heart sank, but the anger bubbled up again. “You can’t do that. You need me out there.”

“Not like this,” he replied, crossing his arms. “I’m pulling you from active duty until you get your head straight.”

You stared at him, the reality of his words hitting you like a punch to the gut. “Steve—”

“You’re on probation, y/n,” Steve said, his voice final. “Until you deal with whatever’s going on in your head, you’re not going back out there. Not like this.”

Your fists clenched at your sides, and you fought back the urge to scream. You wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but deep down, you knew he wasn’t. Still, that didn’t make it any easier to accept.

Without another word, you turned away from him, retreating into the bathroom to deal with your wounds. The sting of the alcohol on your skin was nothing compared to the frustration burning in your chest.

Steve lingered in the doorway for a moment longer before quietly stepping out, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the heavy weight of his decision. You were benched. And for the first time in a long time, you weren’t sure if you even cared.

After dressing your wounds and enduring a scalding hot shower, you collapse onto your bed, too exhausted to even care about the fresh bruises or the burning pain in your side. Your mind is louder than the physical aches, churning with frustration, anger, and something deeper—something you don’t want to name.

You stare at the ceiling, willing your thoughts to quiet down, but the more you try to ignore it, the worse it gets. Wanda’s face flashes through your mind, the way she looked at you when you confessed. The way her expression twisted into something unreadable before she shut you down. The ache in your chest deepens, and you force your eyes shut, hoping sleep will take over.

But it never does.

You don’t know how much time has passed when you hear a knock at the door.

You don’t move at first, thinking if you stay still enough, whoever it is will just go away. But the knock comes again, softer this time, followed by a familiar voice.

“Y/n, it’s Nat. Can I come in?”

You hesitate, staring at the door. You know Natasha well enough to know she’ll come in whether you say yes or not, but there’s still a part of you that wants to push everyone away. You’re tired—tired of talking, tired of feeling.

With a sigh, you mumble, “Yeah, come in.”

The door creaks open, and Natasha slips inside, closing it behind her. She doesn’t say anything right away, just stands there for a moment, taking in the state of your room—the bloodstained clothes tossed aside, the half-empty med kit, the way you’re sprawled on the bed like you’ve given up.

“You look like hell,” she says finally, her voice soft but laced with concern.

“Thanks,” you mutter, keeping your gaze on the ceiling. “I feel great.

Natasha crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed, her weight causing a slight dip that you barely register. She’s quiet for a moment, and you can feel her watching you, waiting for you to say something more, but when you don’t, she takes a deep breath.

“Steve told me about the mission. About the probation.”

You grit your teeth, the frustration bubbling up again. “I don’t need a lecture, Nat.”

“I’m not here to lecture you,” she replies calmly. “I’m here because I’m worried.”

You finally tear your gaze from the ceiling to look at her, seeing the genuine concern etched on her face. It’s the same expression you’ve seen a hundred times before, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. In fact, it makes it harder. Because if Nat’s worried, that means everyone else is too. And that means they’ve all noticed how far you’ve spiraled.

“I’m fine,” you say, but even to your own ears, the words sound hollow.

Natasha raises an eyebrow. “Really? Because last I checked, ‘fine’ people don’t come back from missions bleeding all over the compound and locking themselves away in their rooms.”

You swallow hard, turning your head away from her. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal, y/n.” Her voice softens even more. “You’ve been different. Ever since… well, ever since Wanda. You’ve shut everyone out.”

Her name hits you like a punch to the gut, and you sit up abruptly, swinging your legs over the side of the bed. “Don’t,” you snap, your voice sharp.

Natasha’s face remains calm, but there’s something sympathetic in her gaze. “I know what’s going on between you two.”

Your chest tightens with both panic and frustration. “How do you even know what’s going on with me and Wanda?” you ask, your tone defensive, almost bitter. “What, did she tell you everything? Tell the whole team how I messed everything up by catching feelings?”

Natasha shakes her head slowly, her eyes softening even more. “She didn’t have to tell me. It’s been pretty obvious.”

You feel like someone’s ripped the ground out from under you. “What the hell does that mean?” you ask, standing up, pacing the room. “What’s obvious? That I was stupid enough to fall for my best friend? That I destroyed everything because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut?”

“It’s not about you being stupid,” Natasha says gently. “You’re not stupid, y/n. And Wanda didn’t think that, either.”

You laugh bitterly, your chest tight and aching. “Then what was it, Nat? Because she sure didn’t make me feel like someone who had a chance. She didn’t make me feel like… like anything. Just told me she didn’t feel the same and—.”

Natasha stands up and crosses the room, moving to stand in front of you. “She lied, y/n. She didn’t reject you because she doesn’t feel the same. She rejected you because she’s scared.”

You stare at her, your hands clenching into fists at your sides. “How could you know what she feels?”

Natasha doesn’t back down, her voice calm but insistent. “Because I’ve seen how she looks at you. We all have. Wanda’s terrified, y/n. She’s lost everyone she’s ever loved—her brother, Vision… She’s scared of loving you because she’s afraid of losing you, too.”

You freeze, her words hitting harder than you expected. The anger that had been boiling inside you starts to deflate, replaced with confusion and hurt. “fear makes people do stupid things,” Natasha continued softly “It makes them push away the people they care about most. You know that better than anyone.”

Her words hit too close to home, and you shake your head, trying to process everything. The self-hatred you’ve been drowning in, the isolation, the nightmares—it all starts to feel different.

But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

You turn away from Natasha, your hands running through your hair in frustration. “I didn’t want to lose her, Nat. That’s what I was afraid of this whole time. And now it’s exactly what happened.”

Natasha steps closer, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You haven’t lost her. Not completely. But you’re both going to keep hurting like this until you talk to each other.”

You let out a shaky breath, feeling raw and exposed in a way you hadn’t before, it could all become ten times worse if you talk to her and she just pushes you away more. “I don’t know if I can handle being hurt again.”

Natasha looks at you with a mixture of sympathy and strength. “You won’t know until you try.”

Steve knew something was wrong. He’d seen the tension between you and Wanda for weeks now, long enough to know it wasn’t just some temporary falling out. He had watched you slowly unravel, becoming more reckless on missions, more distant from the team, and he could tell it wasn’t just a professional matter. Something personal was tearing you apart.

And after today, after seeing the trail of blood you left from the jet to your room, he knew he couldn’t stand by any longer.

Steve found Wanda in the quiet of the compound’s common area, sitting by the window and staring out into the darkening sky. Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap, her expression distant, but there was a sadness in her eyes that he hadn’t seen before.

He approached her cautiously, his steps quiet but deliberate. “Wanda.”

She didn’t look at him right away, her gaze still fixed outside. “Steve.”

“Can we talk?” He kept his tone gentle, not wanting to push too hard. She finally turned to face him, her eyes red-rimmed as though she hadn’t slept in days.

“What’s going on with you two?” Steve asked, cutting to the chase. He knew Wanda well enough to know she appreciated honesty over dancing around the subject. “Y/n’s not… they’re not themselves.”

Wanda’s face tightened, her shoulders stiffening as she looked away again. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Steve sighed. “Wanda, you’re both avoiding each other. It’s affecting everything. Not just on missions but… it’s the whole compound,” he tried to tease but quickly saw it wasn’t the time, “I don’t think either of you are okay, it’s getting concerning.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, her fingers fidgeting in her lap, twisting around each other. Steve watched her, waiting patiently. He could tell she was holding back—he had seen it before in the way she carried herself, always guarded, always afraid to let too much slip.

Finally, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “I hurt them, Steve.”

Steve frowned, leaning against the wall as he folded his arms. “What happened?”

Wanda hesitated, the weight of her guilt evident in every movement. “They told me… they told me they loved me.” She took a shaky breath, her voice wavering. “And I— I told them I didn’t feel the same.”

Steve’s eyes softened as he listened. “But that’s not true, is it?”

Wanda shook her head, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. “No. I love them. I love them more than anything. But I can’t—” Her voice cracked, and she pressed a hand to her chest as if trying to hold herself together. “I can’t lose them like I lost everyone else, Steve. I can’t go through that again.”

Steve watched her, the silence stretching between them before he spoke. “I know you’re scared. I know what it’s like to lose people you care about. But pushing them away? That’s only going to hurt you both even more.”

Wanda bit her lip, her breath hitching. “You don’t understand, Steve..”

“I think I do.” Steve’s voice was firm but kind. Wanda looked up at him, confused. “I lost Bucky, more times than I can count. I thought he was gone during the war, then I found him as the Winter Soldier. And every time I thought I had him back, something would happen. Hydra, the government, the Accords… it felt like I was always fighting to keep him in my life.”

Wanda’s expression softened slightly as she listened, her defenses lowering.

“But I never stopped fighting for him,” Steve continued, his voice steady. “Because the love I have for Bucky—it’s unconditional. Even if it was messy, even if it hurt, it was worth every second I got with him.”

Wanda’s eyes welled up with tears again, and she wiped at her cheeks, her hands trembling. “But what if I lose them, Steve? What if I love them, and then they get hurt, or worse—what if they die because of me?”

Steve stepped closer, his gaze unwavering. “You can’t live your life afraid of what might happen. Love is a risk, always. But it’s a risk worth taking. Because the time you spend pushing them away, that’s time you’re losing right now. You’re hurting them, and you’re hurting yourself.”

Wanda swallowed hard, her throat tight. She could feel the weight of her own fear pressing down on her, suffocating her, but Steve’s words rang true. Every moment she spent avoiding you, every time she told herself it was for the best, she was only making things worse.

Steve crouched down to be at eye level with her, his voice gentle but firm. “You don’t know what the future holds, Wanda. None of us do. But I promise you, shutting them out is going to hurt a lot more than loving them ever will.”

Wanda let out a shaky breath, her heart pounding in her chest. She had been so focused on her fear, on the possibility of losing you, that she hadn’t realized she was losing you right now. It was happening before her eyes, and it was her fault.

“I just… I don’t know if I can be that strong,” she whispered, her voice broken.

“You’re one of the strongest people I know,” Steve said softly. “And you don’t have to do it alone. You’ve got us, and you’ve got them. But you have to take that step, Wanda. You have to let yourself love them.”

Wanda closed her eyes, tears spilling down her cheeks as she nodded. She knew Steve was right. She had been running from her own feelings for too long, hiding behind the fear of losing you. But now she realized—by lying, she was already losing you.

“Thank you, Steve,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

Steve gave her a soft, reassuring smile. “Go find them. It’s not too late.”

Wanda took a deep breath, gathering what little courage she had left. She had to fix this. She had to find you, tell you the truth, and face whatever came next—because no matter how terrifying it was, losing you completely would be far worse.

You were back in the training room, throwing punches at the bag with reckless abandon. Each hit sent waves of pain through your body, but you didn’t care. It was easier to focus on the physical ache than the emotional storm swirling inside you. Natasha’s words echoed in your mind: Wanda loves you, but she’s scared.

Scared. You let out a bitter laugh, swinging another punch that nearly knocked the bag off its chain. Why didn’t she just tell you that? Why did she make you feel like you were out of your mind, like you were stupid for thinking she could ever love you back?

You wiped the sweat from your brow, breathing hard as your thoughts spun in circles. The truth had been right there all along, but instead of being honest, she had let you spiral. You weren’t even sure what you felt anymore—anger, hurt, maybe even guilt for forcing her into this position. You had laid your heart out for her, and she crushed it, all to protect herself.

Just as you were about to throw another punch, you heard footsteps behind you. You didn’t have to turn to know who it was. Her presence was unmistakable, a warmth that always made you feel safe and now felt like a dagger in your chest.

“Y/n…” Wanda’s voice was soft, hesitant, and it made your skin prickle. You kept your back to her, clenching your fists as you tried to control the emotions bubbling to the surface.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk to me,” she continued, taking a cautious step closer. “But I—I need to explain.”

“Explain what?” You finally turned around, your voice sharp. “How you made me feel like an idiot? Like I imagined everything between us?”

Wanda flinched at your words, her eyes widening with guilt. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days—her eyes were rimmed with red, and her usually steady hands were trembling. “That’s not what I meant to do. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Well, you did,” you said bluntly, crossing your arms over your chest. The air between you felt heavy, suffocating.

Wanda stepped closer, her gaze pleading, but she still wouldn’t meet your eyes fully. “Y/n, please. It’s not that simple.”

“Then make it simple,” you snapped, your frustration finally boiling over. “Stop beating around the bush, Wanda. Tell me the truth. Just say it.”

She opened her mouth but hesitated again, her eyes flicking away from yours. You let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand through your hair. “For once, just be honest with me. You owe me that.”

There was a long pause, and you could see the conflict in her eyes, the way her whole body tensed as if she was fighting herself. Finally, she took a deep breath, her voice shaky but louder now. “I lied to you. About everything.”

You blinked, your heart skipping a beat. “What?”

Wanda took a step closer, her eyes brimming with tears as she finally let her guard down. “I lied. When I said I didn’t love you—I was lying.” Her voice cracked, and a tear slipped down her cheek. “I’ve been lying to myself, to you… I’ve been so scared of losing you that I thought it was better to push you away.”

Your mind was reeling, trying to process her words. You took a step back, overwhelmed by the flood of emotions—anger, relief, confusion. “So you do love me?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Wanda nodded, tears falling freely now. “Yes. I love you. I’ve loved you for so long, but I was terrified.” She wiped at her cheeks, her breathing uneven. “I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved, and I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you too. So I did the only thing I knew how to do—I pushed you away.”

You felt a lump forming in your throat, and your vision blurred with unshed tears. “Do you have any idea what that did to me?” Your voice cracked, and you swallowed hard, fighting to keep your composure. “I told you I loved you, and you made me feel like a fool. I was terrified too, Wanda. I didn’t want to lose you, but I had to tell you because—because I couldn’t keep pretending. My feelings for you—they consumed me.”

Wanda took another step closer, her hand reaching out but hovering in the space between you, afraid to touch you. “I know,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “I’m so sorry, y/n. I thought I was protecting both of us, but I was wrong. I hurt you, and I hate myself for it.”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as all the pain you had been holding back came rushing out. “You were my best friend, Wanda. My best friend. And I lost you the moment I opened my mouth.

Wanda’s face crumpled, her own tears falling faster now. “You didn’t lose me. I was the one who messed everything up. I was scared, and I made all your worst fears come true.”

There was a long silence as the two of you stood there, both of you crying, both of you broken by the weight of your own fears. Finally, Wanda moved closer, closing the distance between you, her hand finally resting on your arm. Her touch was tentative, soft, but it sent a shiver down your spine.

“I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “Not like this.”

You looked into her eyes, seeing the raw vulnerability there, and it broke something inside you. All the anger, the frustration—it melted away in that moment, leaving only the overwhelming love you had always felt for her.

Without thinking, you reached down and cupped her face in your hands, pulling her close. Wanda’s breath hitched as your lips crashed together, a mix of tears and desperation. The kiss was soft but intense, full of everything you had both been holding back for so long. It was tender, warm, but laced with the pain of everything you had gone through.

Wanda’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened, both of you pouring your hearts into it, trying to mend what had been broken. When you finally pulled away, you rested your forehead against hers, both of you breathing hard, tears still slipping down your cheeks.

“I love you,” you whispered, your voice raw but full of conviction. “I’ve always loved you.”

Wanda let out a shaky breath, her hands gripping the back of your shirt like she was afraid to let go. “I love you too. I’m so sorry for everything.”

You pulled her into a tight embrace, burying your face in her hair, feeling the warmth of her body against yours. “We’ll figure it out,” you whispered softly, kissing the top of her head. “We’ll figure it out together.”

Wanda nodded against your chest, her arms tightening around you. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t,” you promised, your voice full of the kind of love that you knew would last forever.

The two of you stood there, holding each other, the weight of the past weeks slowly lifting off your shoulders. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt like you could breathe again. The fear, the pain—it was still there, but it didn’t matter. Not when you had her in your arms.

“Come on, you need a shower and some rest,” she mumbled tearfully.

“Are you saying I stink,” you joked hands going to her own.

She smiled, missing your childish jokes, “I’m saying we’re both exhausted and I’ve missed cuddling with you.” she pulled you towards the exit as you laughed following her, “and Steve told me what happened..Idiot,” she finished as you mumbled something about hitting steve.

Eventually, you both made your way back to your room, neither of you wanting to be apart any longer, you took a brief shower as Wanda found a movie to play. You curled up together on your bed, Wanda resting her head on your chest, her arms wrapped around you like she was afraid to let you go, legs tangled together.

The three of you are running through the halls. You don't know how but an alarm was triggered and now you want to make it out of the building before a fight starts.

Too late.

Turning the next corner you are met with five guards all equipped to take you down.

This is not what you wanted.

The plan was so meticulously thought out, you allowed yourself to be optimistic, that this mission could be done without a hitch, but you should have known. Better to keep expectations low, right?

You can only hope they haven't found out about the support you have outside the building.

Tony, Sam, Vision and Wanda.

Two days ago

"Y/l/n, you're with Rogers and Romanoff."

You look up from the file on the table in front of you to the man holding the meeting feeling slightly perplexed.

"But sir, I'm normally partnered with Wanda because of how well we work together," you blurt out, before you can stop yourself.

"I know, but we need Wanda outside where her powers will be useful while the three of you get the job done inside," the man with the eyepatch clarifies.

You grimace slightly and it doesn't go unnoticed by Fury. So he continues, "I know you like spending time with your wife, agent, but you will have to spend a few hours away from each other this time," he finishes, getting a few chuckles from around the table.

You smile and nod your head to show you have acknowledged him. It is not your fault, you can't help but worry about your wife.

"How about Pietro? Where is he? He'd be perfect for this with his speed," you try to reason.

Fury is still smirking from his previous joke and keeps it going for his audience like this meeting is his very own stand-up comedy set, "Throwing the brother-in-law under the bus isn't going to work," causing another round of chuckles. "His skills are being used elsewhere," he finally clarifies.

Wanda notices your reluctance next to you. She takes your hand from the file to hold in her lap under the table for the rest of the meeting. The weight of her hand and the occasional squeeze she gives it brings you a semblance of calm.

After the meeting is over and everyone leaves to get prepped for the upcoming mission, Wanda speaks to you to reassure that everything will be ok. She has a soft smile on her face, "We've been apart in missions before, we'll get it done and be on our way home in no time."

Her hand still hasn't left yours since she took it earlier. You take a step forward leaning your forehead against hers while taking her other hand in yours, "I can't help but worry, it feels different this time."

You know she can take care of herself but you didn't want to be anywhere that wasn't by her side right now. This mission feels as though it has come at the worst time.

Present day

Taking out the five guards was easy work for the three of you.

Turns out they were just a warm up.

When you make it outside, you see Tony disarming someone who had a missile launcher aimed in Vision's direction. Vision throws two guys into the air that Sam finishes off as he flies past and Wanda, you can't see her, but you can see the red tendrils of her powers meaning she too, was engaged in combat.

After your quick assessment of the area the three of you spring back into action.

The base is in the middle of a forest deep underground. It's the reason the plans were so detailed, Hydra would have seen you coming from a mile away.

Hiding and manoeuvring behind and around trees you do what you are best at - taking down the enemy.

With Natasha by your side, watching each other's backs, you take down a few soldiers next to what looks like a turret. It is shooting out energy blasts to try and knock you unconscious so you can then be taken as prisoners. Once the area is clear you take over the controls using it to take out a similar one on the opposite side of the battlefield.

The machine makes it easy to take down bad guys while you do your best to avoid your teammates. For you this is just another 'day at the office' so your mind drifts to your home life.

Three months ago

Stirring awake you rub the sleep from your eyes. The warmth from your two bodies encased by your covers provide you with enough comfort to make you want to fall back into slumber.

You are about to nod off again when her soft whisper brings you back to reality, "You better not be going back to sleep," Wanda says, her warm breath that smells of toothpaste fans over your face making you smile silly.

"Of course not love," you lie, "I was just thinking about all the things you needed me to do around the house."

You hear her chuckle, "Oh, I'm sure you were." She pushes your shoulder so that you roll on to your back. Wanda presses most of her weight on top of you, stroking your cheek.

With your eyes still closed she places a few soft kisses along your neck and jaw. "Hmm...I could get used to this," you crack open one eye slightly, "but you missed a spot," you say, pointing to your lips.

"Uh uh, not until you've brushed your teeth, Morning Breath," Wanda says, slapping your chest once, causing you to whine as you stretch a little.

Wanda is always the one to wake up first. Usually she will get a head start on anything needed for the day. But considering it is a weekend she has chosen to come back into bed and allow herself a morning to lounge around.

Now, with both your eyes open, you move one of your hands that was resting on her waist to her cheek and look at her freshly washed morning face.

"Good morning," you finally say, rubbing her cheek with your thumb. Despite her 'morning breath' statement she gives you a peck on the lips and returns the greeting.

The two of you have been home for two weeks. No missions. No dire need of your presence required at the compound. Just you, Wanda an-

You hear the patter of small feet and a few knocks on the door signalling the end of your peace this morning.

Having had the luxury of experiencing it more than a few times these past weeks, you know how this is going to go.

"So, what's our play this time?" You whisper to her.

"I like the one where we pretend to be asleep," she whispers back. Being quiet is detrimental so the two, soon to be, intruders are none the wiser.

You take your positions, relaxed bodies, closed eyes, waiting for the unavoidable moment when they can't help themselves and try to sneak into the room.

The sound of a soft click, notifies you the door has been opened, along with hushed tones of, "Shh, be quiet!" You admire their efforts, they are still new recruits in covert operations after all.

When they are close enough the two of you sit up, arms raised with a loud, "AHHHH!" They both let out high pitched shrieks while the two of you can't help but laugh, giving each other a high five, Wanda giggling as she leans against you.

Tommy is the first to speak, "That wasn't funny!" Followed by Billy, "You do this every time," they groan.

You and Wanda are still giggling as the boys climb onto the bed. "That's what you get for trying to sneak in here," you say triumphantly, "when will you ever learn, huh?" You question as they get comfortable between you both.

Wanda can't help but wonder, "Why are you two always awake so early on the weekends?" The boys look at each other while you sit and watch the interaction in awe as she continues, "I struggle to get you out of bed on school mornings."

They turn back to their mother and shrug, "Weekends mean more time for fun," Tommy responds. The boy, always ready with a quick quip.

Wanda gasps as she moves forward, "Why you little-" she says, tickling him.

Tommy begins to laugh while you and Billy giggle as if you're watching a show play out in front of you.

Once everyone settles back down your stomach rumbles, starting off another round of laughter.

"Ok, ok, I think that's the signal for us all to get washed up and get some breakfast sorted," you instruct.

Just like clockwork, Wanda makes her way to the kitchen while you try and get the boys to cooperate.

After a little bit of a struggle to wrangle the energetic boys together you get them to complete their morning routine.

Before you head down, you check to make sure they are done with what they were told and eventually, you make it downstairs disturbing Wanda's peace.

When you arrive in the kitchen, Wanda smiles over her shoulder at you. Kissing her on the cheek, you take over flipping pancakes so she can finish getting morning beverages sorted.

The boys bicker about their toys as they wait in their seats for their pancakes. You and Wanda sit, passing plates around and help with any fruits they want.

You can't help but feel content at the quiet, the only sounds in the room coming from cutlery hitting plates as well as the occasional competitive comment from the boys about who can finish eating first. This is what your life is and you love every second of it.

Both you and Wanda are in agreement, you couldn't be happier with the way your lives have turned out.

These weeks have only solidified yours and Wanda's plans; officially retiring from the Avengers.

Present day

The fight feels never-ending. Bad guys showing up left and right. You can't afford to think about your fatigue, a distraction could mean the difference between life and death.

You feel something rush past you and the three guys you are shielding yourself from behind a sandbag wall are knocked to the floor.

Vibrations travelling through the floor from a loud roar signals Banner is also here, making you smile with relief. You are thankful some backup has arrived.

"What? You didn't see that coming?" The speedster says, putting his hand out for you to take so you can get off the ground. "And where's my thank you?"

"For taking so long? You know, for a speedster, you're pretty slow," you joke back to Pietro.

He laughs lightly before speeding off, "Try to keep up in-law!" The gray haired man taunts.

…

The battle seems to be coming to an end, only a few brave soldiers on the opposing side are still trying their best even if they are losing.

You take in your surroundings and deem the area you are in as clear before making your way to find Wanda. You follow her powers like a beacon to get to her.

Seeing her take out an enemy brings a proud smile to your face. You can see she is exhausted but will always fight till her last breath.

Feeling your presence, she turns to you after taking down a final soldier. She smiles at you tiredly as you make your way to her.

"I'm sorry honey, I wanted to get to you sooner to show you I was okay, but I was a little busy," you say when you reach her, hands cupping her cheeks, rubbing them and feeling her relax a little in your presence.

"Don't worry malysh, I knew you were here," she rests her face in the crook of your neck inhaling, "I could feel you." The vibrations of her voice against you make the hairs on the back of your neck stand on edge.

You take a short moment for yourselves, before you meet with the rest of the team gathered in one place as you usually do once the fight is over.

Making your way, everyone checks the bodies they pass on the floor to make sure they are fully knocked out, ready to be detained. The clean up crew will be here soon.

Walking towards where the rest of the team is, you notice you are the last to arrive. The team all gathers and you relax a little by one of the sandbag walls beginning small chit-chat. You allow Wanda to fully press her back against your front as you lean against the wall, anything to help with the tiredness she is feeling.

Bruce confirms a silent alarm was triggered when you, Steve and Natasha got to the targeted archive room.

All that mattered now was that the mission was complete, with no major casualties.

Wanda is now leaning heavily on you so you keep your arms wrapped securely around her to keep her upright.

As SHIELD agents start to appear they begin their part of the process so your team begins their trek in the direction of the quinjets.

Still feeling a little tired, you wait back with your wife, who is now sitting on top of the wall, to allow her a little more time to replenish some energy. When she is ready she takes your hand leaning into you again after you help her down.

"When we get back I'm running you a nice hot bath," you say into her hair.

Wanda moves her head to make eye contact with you, "I hope you're taking this bath with me," she smiles.

"Like I'd have it any other way," you shake your head, smiling back at her, chuckling.

As you look ahead of you while you walk, you hear something and see some movement from the corner of your eye.

In that moment everything feels as if it moves in slow motion.

You see an enemy soldier laying on the ground. Their arm sluggishly moves, taking something from their belt and pulling the pin. Your eyes widen as you turn to Wanda, pushing her away behind another wall you are passing.

It all happens so fast.

The grenade flying through the air in your direction, followed by a loud explosion of heat.

Your body flies backwards, hitting a tree.

Hard.

In the last seconds of your consciousness pain radiates through your body but all you can think about is if Wanda was out of the blast radius.

One month ago

You seem to be spending more and more time at home now that the Avengers have recruited more help, one of them being Natasha's sister who you were surprised to learn about.

There has been a steady flow of smaller missions where you then get to spend a full week at home. It has been a good time to be able to get a schedule into place. Creating a normal home life for Billy and Tommy.

As you put the boys to bed you hear Wanda in the bathroom throwing up everything from dinner for the third night in a row.

Even though she tells you it must be a bug and that it will pass soon, you feel worried.

-

The next day arrives and you take Billy and Tommy to school on your own for the second time this week when Wanda said she wasn't feeling too good this morning.

She hasn't been able to keep much down, first it was some dinners but the previous day she didn't keep anything down at all.

By the time you get back you hear her in the bathroom emptying the contents of her stomach once again.

You have been kneeling next to her rubbing her back trying to help her through this as much as you can. When she seems to be done, she sits to the side and you help her lean against the wall then take a seat in front of her.

"Three days in a row can't be a coincidence, my love," You think you might know what is causing this but-

"It's too soon, right?" She finishes your thought out loud, "I know I'm late but I thought that was from the stress of everything going on. It took months with Billy and Tommy."

"Either way, I've already made an appointment with Dr Cortez," you can't help the panicked look on your face. Wanda thinks it's admirable so she smiles at you.

"And when did you make this appointment?" Wanda asks, raising her eyebrows, "Also, when is it?"

You smile sheepishly at getting caught. "I called yesterday, she had a cancellation for this afternoon," Wanda shakes her head amused. She puts out her hand to show she is ready to get up so you help her to her feet and don't let go until you see she is steady.

Wanda wraps her arms around you and presses the side of her face into your chest, "Have I told you how much I love you?"

You kiss the top of her head murmuring into her hair, "No, not today you haven't," you scoff slightly.

She lifts her head to look at you with her chin now resting against you. You try not to make a face but you do. You know you have been caught from seeing Wanda's expression changing so you say something before she can, "If you think you're going to kiss me with your vomit breath, you've got another thing coming."

Wanda moves away and looks at you in the mirror as she reaches for her toothbrush, "What ever happened to 'in sickness and in health'?"

"Oh, I can still love you in sickness, it doesn't mean I have to kiss you," your response is a little too quick for Wanda's liking. "Besides I still remember you calling me 'morning breath', it's only fair I return the favour now," you finish with a cheeky smile meeting her eyes in the mirror.

"Not one for holding on to the past I see," Wanda muffles past the foamy toothpaste in her mouth sarcastically. While you just smile at her comment.

-

When you make it to your appointment, Dr Cortez takes some samples and instructs you to await her call.

You are done in time for the school run so the two of you pick the boys up and treat them to pizza for dinner.

Wanda's sickness still hasn't lightened up, you are glad she suggested the safe choice of a soup instead of the greasy food so you had picked that up too.

She ends up bringing up her dinner and instead of hovering around her you keep the boys busy with deciding on a movie to watch because they are done with their homework. The last thing you want is them to notice and be concerned for their mother's health.

Once you have them settled you go to check on Wanda. As you get to her she is already leaving the bathroom with a tired expression on her face.

You take her in your arms and comfort her. It's the only thing you can really do. Wanda wraps her arms around you leaning against heavily into your side as you make your way to the living room.

Once you make it to the couch, as always the boys are situated in the middle. You help Wanda sit on one side while you move to sit on the other side.

This is how you spend most evenings, cuddled up relaxing. This time the choice of movie is lost on you because all you can think about is Wanda and what could come from the test results.

You don't notice Wanda looking in your direction. She moves her arm to the back cushions stretching over to run her fingers through the back of your hair, "Your thoughts are loud, honey," she keeps her voice low so the boys don’t divert their attention from the television, before you look over.

"I'm sorry, I jus-"

She is smiling softly when she interrupts you. "I know, but please don't worry. We don't know anything yet," she continues speaking quietly.

Your gazes are pulled away by a small voice coming from between you. "Are you sick mommy?" You see Billy looking in Wanda's direction as Tommy pulls his eyes away from the screen.

Kids are always more perceptive than you realise.

"I have been feeling sick, yes Billy," Wanda answers truthfully.

This time Tommy speaks with a follow up question, "But you're gonna be okay. Aren't you?"

"She's gonna be fine," you reply, for her. "We went to see the doctor today, we just need to wait and see what they say."

Present day

Placing her hand to her pounding head Wanda tries to get past the ringing in her ears. When she stops feeling nauseous she looks around her immediate vicinity. She begins to panic when she doesn't see you.

Wanda was only unconscious for a moment and now that her mind has cleared a little she realises can't feel you as strongly as before. It is as if you are fading. Her mind concludes that she has awoken to the sound of you dying when she hears you wheezing, making her panic grow.

There is dust and debris everywhere and Wanda does her best to look through it trying to find you. She feels a breeze pass her and in the next second Pietro is in front of her, "Sestra, what happ-"

"Where's Y/n?!" Wanda exasperates, her worry overwhelming because she can only just about feel your presence.

Pietro helps her scramble to her feet as they both look around. Wanda walks in the direction she thinks you will be while Pietro trails behind her, looking around to make sure they are safe.

"No, no, no, no," she panics, seeing your boots a few feet away.

As she gets closer Wanda can hear you coughing and your wheezing gets louder. In her mind it is as if your light is dying out.

No.

She can't lose you.

You can't die.

One month ago

The movie still playing in the background is long forgotten.

You and Wanda continue to tell the kids not to worry and you should hear from the doctor soon.

As if he has an epiphany Billy asks, "Could it be a baby?" This gets Tommy perking up too.

You can't help but be curious how he got to that conclusion, "What makes you ask that?"

Billy responds like it's obvious, "You and mommy were talking about having another baby."

Tommy seems to have picked up how Billy got the idea, "Yeah, and we saw something on TV where someone said she was pregnant and that's why she was being sick."

You and Wanda glance at each other for a quick second, smiling at how smart they have gotten. Kids really are more perceptive than you give them credit for.

"We're not sure yet. That's why we went to see the doctor," you respond.

They still have questions. So Tommy asks, "But why did you go to a doctor, can't you check at home?"

"You check on a stick or something like that?" Billy adds.

"This sickness has been different from last time and it's come on quicker than when your mommy was carrying the two of you," you explain to the two boys listening intently.

"We were more prepared and it took a lot longer for you two to turn up," Wanda smiles, tapping Billy's nose making him smile. "And because this sickness is a little different, we thought it would be best to go see Dr Cortez. She said we will find out soon enough," Wanda finishes.

The boys ask more questions and you do your best to answer them. Eventually the conversation dwindles and you notice how late it has gotten. So you announce it is time for bed.

When you lay facing each other, you reassure Wanda, "Whatever this is, we'll get through it together."

You seal your promise with a kiss and hold Wanda until she sleeps. It takes you a little while longer, every bad scenario playing in your head regarding these test results.

Considering your track record of losing loved ones, your mother to leukaemia, your father to an aneurysm and your sister in battle, you don't like your odds. 

Your stomach is in knots, something in your chest feels heavy while your eyes burn. You hope that these test results come quickly and not at all at the same time. You are not ready to lose the love of your life.

Present day

You can just about hear the footsteps closing in on you as you cough out the dryness in your mouth. But you don't care, you just want to go back to your dream. The memory of your family on the couch watching a movie. Talking to each other about funny parts.

As the frantic steps get closer, you close your eyes, ready to be finished off. You think of your boys and of Wanda, sorry that you won't be able to see them again.

"Malysh!"

You swear you hear someone voice you recognise.

"Y/n!" A different voice shouts.

At least you think you recognise them. It is hard to tell with it sounding like you are underwater.

You can barely feel it but cold hands meet your cheeks, rubbing your skin. So that's who it is. Wanda rests your head in her lap as your hand makes its way to hers resting on your face.

Quickly catching up and remembering where you are, relief fills you when you see her, "Wanda," you smile tiredly. "You're okay."

"I thought I had lost you," Wanda sighs. "I saw you lying here, I thought…"

"No, no. I'm okay," you wheeze out.

"Try not to talk, okay? You need to save your energy," she says with tears filling her eyes.

The back of your head is covered in blood. Dust and mud is mixed all over your face and uniform.

You soon realise you are not actually okay. You know what is going to happen, how this is going to end. You can already feel life slipping away from your body.

Pietro is trying to reach someone through his earpiece but it seems to not be working.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," you begin quietly, your voice breaking as tears fall from your eyes.

"Stop… please don't talk like that," your wife begs you. She turns to Pietro and hurriedly tells him to get some medics and a stretcher to your location as fast as he can.

"Wanda, please look at me," you request, before the speedster disappears.

As always you are captivated by her green eyes that the forest surrounding you could never compare to. "Tell the boys I love them," your hand moves to rest on her stomach, "the baby too."

Wanda shakes her head not wanting to accept this was your end as you continue, "God, I hope they get your eyes."

One month ago

The day after your discussion with Billy and Tommy everything is normal, well as normal as the past week has been.

Wanda is forced to stay home because of her sickness while you take care of the boys then take them to school afterwards.

On your return you help Wanda however you can and get her to sit down to relax for most of the day, making sure she takes it easy.

To distract Wanda and even yourself you discuss a variety of things, from; getting things finalised with Fury - he says you will be needed for a little longer while they get the newcomers trained, he promises no big missions are in the near future, to; Billy and Tommy's progress at school.

It isn't until early afternoon that Wanda's phone rings.

She looks at you after she reads the caller ID on her screen, she finds you already looking in her direction.

You turn off the television as Wanda puts down her book to answer the call, picking up the device from the coffee table in front of you.

The look on your wife's face is undecipherable as she responds with short answers and verbal nods. You can't tell if she looks panicked, excited or nervous, maybe a mixture of everything.

A new appointment is set up which makes your stomach flip. Before you can say anything she thanks the doctor and hangs up.

Wanda takes in the apprehensive look you have on but a smile spreads over her face, tears pricking the corner of her eyes. Wasting no time she reveals, "I'm pregnant."

Your eyes grow wide as your tense muscles relax. The smile on your face now mimics Wanda's wide one. You lunge forward kissing Wanda wrapping your arms around each other. You celebrate with teary smiles, hugs and kisses. Words of not believing this is real take over as you place your hands on her stomach.

"You're pregnant," you whisper into the quiet room, the smile never leaving your face as a happy tear falls from your eye.

She puts her hands over yours, "We sure are."

-

When you arrive home with Tommy and Billy after collecting them from school you share the news. You sit them down and tell them this is a little family secret. They couldn't tell anyone, not yet.

You were probably being a little too cautious but you didn't want to jinx it. It was an easy agreement between you and Wanda to not let anyone know until at least three months into the pregnancy.

Present day

"Well, I hope they get your beautiful eyes," Wanda responds, "we'll see who wins in seven months, okay?"

You breathe out a pained laugh, "You're really gonna fight me on this, right now?"

Your eyes are barely open but grow heavier as your blinking becomes slower. Wanda looks up to see if help is on its way.

As she looks around you take in all of her features. The beauty marks dotted around her face, laugh lines you are proud to be the reason for helping make, her soft skin you like to trace in the mornings. Especially the mornings you wake up before her.

You feel colder and the weight of Wanda's hand in yours is no longer there. The end is near so you take in as much as you can before you say your final words.

Reaching up, you stroke her face with your finger, you hope you are not pressing too hard, "I love you. Always remember that."

When she looks at you, you continue, "You don't have to do it all by yourself-"

"Stop that. I'm not losing you," she desperately cuts you off.

It doesn't deter you from saying what is on your mind. "You have Pietro and Nat. Even Clint is always giving his advice even when we don't ask for it," you laugh getting a small smile from her until you fall into a coughing fit with blood spluttering from your mouth.

Once it subsides she looks at you with her eyebrows cinched, "I'm not losing you," she says firmly and slowly. "I can't lose you."

"You'll never lose me, I'll always be with you," you say, putting your hand to her chest. "Always." A tear makes its way down the side of your face.

You know you don't have much longer. There is not enough time but you feel like you have so much you want to say.

Your eyes begin to droop close, "No, I can't lose you," you just about hear. Your ears feel cloudy, just like your vision. You try to tell her again how you love her, your voice but a whisper using the last bit of energy you have to say it one more time, "I… lov-" with all your energy dispelled you don't stay awake long enough to finish your sentence as your consciousness fades into darkness.

One week later

There is a small smile on Wanda's face as she dreams of you and the boys - it is you laughing with them. Well, you are laughing at your own jokes and the boys giving you a weird look because they don't understand the punchlines. Instead of explaining you chase them around the room jokingly chastising them for not understanding them.

She loves to observe moments like this in your daily life, appreciating having a family of her own. A dream that had to be dropped after she joined Hydra. For a long time she didn’t think she would find her place in the world. Be at peace. But she found it with you.

Her limbs are stiff in her uncomfortable position on the chair she fell asleep in. Night after night of sleeping in an awkward position has not done well for her aching body.

Shortly after you fell unconscious, Pietro returned with Natasha and transportation to get you both out of there. Wanda didn’t let anyone else handle you, afraid they would jostle you too much so she used her powers to levitate you to the stretcher which she then moved to the truck where the medics hurried to look you over. There was no way she could risk losing you if she hadn't already.

If Pietro wasn't there she would have hit the ground as she collapsed, her fatigue catching up with her. She was checked over and apart from a few cuts and bruises she was deemed fine.

No one knew to check the baby.

Something stirs her awake, as usual she hears the sounds of the machines around the private room and footsteps walking up and down the corridor behind her. This time however there is a new sound, not new exactly but it’s you, laughing.

Once Wanda’s confusion subsides she realises your laugh isn’t a lingering sound from her dream. It’s real. Her eyes finally focus enough on you laughing because of something Sam said who is standing beside you on the opposite side of the bed.

The sound is interrupted with you coughing in pain holding your ribs, “You’re the one that needs to stop making me laugh, Wilson.” It is enough to get Wanda to sit upright, the other man in the room, Bucky, catching her movements first out of the three of you.

“You’re awake,” Wanda rushes from her seat to sit beside you, carefully wrapping her arms around you and pressing her face in the crook of your neck, “I was so worried.” She can’t help but let a few tears fall, which you feel soaking into your hospital gown.

After checking you over the nurse was going to wake Wanda but you stopped her, wanting to let her rest. When the nurse was exiting the room she found the men lingering outside your door until she was done for their daily visit.

You whisper reassurances to Wanda, that you are okay and explain that Bucky, Steve and Sam were the closest to the room when you woke up.

Steve left after a few minutes because he was needed elsewhere - training duty with potential new Avengers. He expressed his relief saying he was glad you were okay before hugging you then leaving shortly after.

Bucky taps Sam on the shoulder, signalling to the door to give the two of you some privacy.

"I didn’t mean to wake you, love,” you say as Wanda pulls away, wiping her tears. She takes your face into her hands, “Sam was telling me to - 'Stop laughing, your wife will kill me if she wakes up hearing you in pain'," you mimic Sam as best as you can.

Wanda scoffs and shakes her head at your antics. She looks at you, really looks at you as if assessing you. You look tired, the bruises and cuts that litter your face, arms and peaking out from your robe not helping.

You cup her cheek, tracing a fading cut there as you get her to meet your eye line, “I’m okay,” you promise her, then move your arms around Wanda as tight as you can. You power through, your aching body not liking the movement of your limbs even if the feeling has been dulled down due to the pain medication running through your veins from the bag attached to your arm. 

Wanda can’t help but voice the deepest fear she has had this past week, "I thought I was gonna lose you." Your eyes well up because of her shaky tone.

"I know, I'm sorry," you pull back, "I'm sorry. I thought that was it, I was so worried. I had to tell you whatever I could." You look into her eyes, the ones you will be able to continue waking up to, thankful you still get to live your life with her.

Putting your hand on her stomach, you swallow the lump in your throat in fear of the answer you were about to receive, "Did you get checked out? Bucky and Sam didn’t mention anything about the baby."

When Wanda awoke the following day after the mission, she was told she was healthy. It hit her all at once about them not knowing to check the life growing inside her.

She places a hand over yours, with tears in her red rimmed eyes thinking about the worry she went through. First the possibility of losing you, then maybe losing the new part of you she had left.

“Natasha was there when I woke up, she found a doctor so fast when I told her,” Wanda recalls, remembering the sheer urgency she showed to find someone. Natasha all but dragged a doctor into the room to make them check Wanda.

"They did a sonogram," she trails off. You look at Wanda with regret in your eyes for not being there, "I got to see this little one for the first time," she says looking down to her stomach then back at you smiling, "they confirmed, everything is fine."

You sigh in relief, holding her hands between you, "I wish I was there to see and hear their heartbeat with you."

Wanda rubs the back of your hand with her thumb, "Would you like to see?" You respond by nodding your head. Wanda checks the pocket of the hoodie she is wearing and when it is empty she sees the small square photo paper on the chair she has been calling a bed.

Reaching over she grabs the photo that is face down and sits next to you after you scoot over making space for her, "We've got a strong one here," she says holding the image from the sonogram. You rest your head against Wanda's shoulder as you take in the blur of a baby in the picture.

You take a deep breath and smile at your wife. "We need to get that retirement sorted, huh?" You half joke, “This little peanut needs to stay safe, we can’t risk something like this happening again.”

Wanda agrees but senses your worry when you place a hand back onto her stomach, looking at it as if you can see the baby. “The doctors checked everything. Twice over, malysh,” she adds to reassure you. “She’s fine.”

Your head snaps up so fast, a small smile taking over Wanda's face, looking down for a second and scrunching her nose when she realises what she has just let slip. You can’t help the happy tears that well in your eyes, “A girl?”

Wanda replies with a nod, smiling tearily, “The doctor thought I already knew.” You move forward and kiss Wanda as much as your body will let you.

A little girl. She will be the one to complete your family.

After a few moments of silence basking in each other's presence, your forehead leaning against hers, you break it, "I would never have forgiven myself if I died."

Wanda scoffs at your comment effectively breaking you apart, "You wouldn't have forgiven you?! I wouldn't have forgiven you!" You chuckle at her comment.

You take both her hands in yours letting out a breath, “So Nat knows about the baby?” You ask in a whisper and Wanda hums in response. "And who knows about the retirement plan?"

"Just Nat,” Wanda replies.

“We are never going to be able to keep anything from her, are we?" You joke, making Wanda giggle.

"Erm, of course you’re not," Natasha says, walking into the room. "You two are always so obvious when you're hiding something. Though, I will admit,” Natasha pauses as she places her hand on your shoulder when she reaches your side, “I was surprised by the news of the baby." The three of you share a smile before she continues, "How are you feeling?"

"Alive." You smile gratefully, looking at Wanda then back at Natasha, "I hear I have you to thank."

"I'm sure Sam exaggerated but yes. Please send your praises my way," she muses, smiling back at you, taking a step back.

“He did mention something about you bulldozing a few trees to get to me,” you remark.

This gets the three of you to chuckle. When the joke passes Natasha asks, "You up for some visitors?"

As if on queue Billy and Tommy enter the room with Pietro following them. They run up to the bed and practically jump on you.

"Careful boys!" Wanda warns from next to you. They reply, sheepishly in unison, "Sorry mom."

Your chest fills with warmth as you push their hair back while looking at them, "It's okay," you look to Wanda before saying, "I'm okay," with an emotional smile.

Both boys start rambling on about all the cool things they have been doing with Uncle Pietro; playing games, eating junk food and something about being able to jump higher on the trampoline because uncle Pietro can use his superspeed to help. On top of that, how fun it has been having 'Aunty' Monica over too.

"So, not one nutritional meal this week, I'll take it?" You look at Pietro with a raised eyebrow. Then continue with a sarcastic remark, "And I see you've been showing the kids how to be responsible with powers?"

There is a beat of silence as everyone's attention turns to Pietro.

"The candy was fruit flavored!" He exasperates. The boys nod at his statement as Natasha stands to the side with her arms crossed, chuckling while you smile at the scene.

Pietro is about to continue but gets cut off by Wanda with an unimpressed glare, "Let's not forget this extra house guest I wasn't aware of."

"I needed the adult company…?" He shrugs unsurely.

It gets chaotic with Wanda telling Pietro off, the boys trying to defend him and Natasha standing on the side laughing at the whole thing. Even with the pain you can feel you can't stop yourself from laughing too.

Eventually your laughs stop and with a smile on your face, you take in the moment.

You wouldn't have it any other way. This is your family. Your small and silly little family.