#wamble

I adore my younger self. Cringe queen <3.

lofi hip hop beats to wamble to

so I ate lunch with a friend today and she knows that im not the most happy-go-lucky kind of person in the world. she asked me, what was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was torn in between when I realized that people suck or when I realized that I don't care for what other people want me to be. for the whole humans suck thing, it has only benefited me. I still have yet to experience a moment in which my dislike for humanity has ever done anything against me that would cause me to regret it. I mean, I will be good to good people but for the most part I see humans as these terrible and stupid primates that dominate the world. I refuse to be blinded by this false faith in a good humanity and it helps me stay true to pure fact. some people don't like this, I think that truth is the most valuable thing in the world. and then the time I realized that what other people think of me doesn't matter. for example, when I was younger my family would always try and push sports on me, baseball, basketball, football, and a bunch of stuff that I didn't do bad in but I didn't care for in the slightest. they were trying to reinforce the whole boy thing and that they want me to be some sort of rich successful man. i didn't care for any of this. then i started to get friends that were pretty much all girls and i realized that girl clothes is really nice, and that plushies are like the best thing in the world, or the fact that i enjoy the color pink. it has to be the fluffy pinks though, not the gross hot pink stuff. i pretty much realized that i don't care for anything boyish. and as for occupation, i have no desire to be some rich successful person. i don't care that my family doesn't want me to pursue culinary and they want me to do some sort rich big company stuff. i don't see myself being happy or content with that life. i understand that people care about what their family and peers expect from them. but i also understand that these people often have either miserable lives or ignorant and sheltered ones. which is something im not going to do to myself just to make others happy with me. if my family ends up labeling me as a failure of the family (which im sure some of them already do) then so be it, im not going to the family get together anyways. im pretty sure when i leave for life stuff and become fully independent, they will probably only hear from me once a year or two. the whole "family will always be there for you" thing is just a whatever thing to me because they have yet to ever really be supportive of my decisions in my life.

Best friends means I’m showing up at your house before you’re even off of work, letting myself in, and taking a nap in your bed. And maybe borrowing a spoon to eat my applesauce with idk.