#wallwhispers

This is not how I expected to return to this blog, but I guess that's just how life goes…I don't really check on the JTHM tag much anymore, but I just so happened to check in time to see what's going on with 'that anon' that people are talking about.

I have a complicated opinion on everything here, BUT I don't think Anon is a bad person or anything and everyone's making a bigger deal out of this than it actually is and inadvertently proving Anon's points more by how you're responding to them.

Anon is completely right that there's a massive long-standing issue with ableism within the JTHM community -- time and time again, when issues of abuse or ableism are brought up in the community, these concerns are ignored at best and at worst vulnerable people are turned into a spectacle over it -- much like you're doing now with Anon, when if you're /so/ bothered and inconvenienced by them…the simple answer is to ignore it. I don't feel like doing that this time, though, despite having an incredibly busy and stressful life right now...because I find that their points make for an interesting conversation even if I don't fully see things the same as them.

[*The original screenshot of this ask is from another blog that didn't show the full text.]

As for what I think...PARASOCIAL THEORY DISCLAIMER; I don't believe JTHM was made to make fun of Johnny as a caricature; something important to remember is that Johnny was Jhonen's nickname when he was younger, around the time he first came up with the 'Johnny the Little Homicidal Maniac' concept, and despite his public denial of it I always thought that Johnny himself reflected parts of Jhonen that he doesn't like to acknowledge within himself -- or, something along those lines...so, if anything, it's more of a self deprecation and even how Jimmy himself is handled feels reflective of this. Johnny kills Jimmy, not only in the name of Johnny's hypocritical and broken morality, but because Jimmy reminds Johnny of himself in ways that make him uncomfortable and I wouldn't be surprised if that's why JV himself distances himself from his own mentally ill fanbase. I see him as scared of his own shadow with internalized ableism rather than outright hatred of mentally ill people, essentially, that's how his posts about denying Johnny's mental illness and making fun of him read to me alongside JV's sense of humor of fucking with his fans over shit that's clearly obvious to not be what he says; I see a lot of my own sense of sarcastic humor in him as someone with ASPD. JV himself is an unreliable narrator just as much as Johnny himself is...

BUT THAT'S JUST MY THEORY.

Some excerpts of one of Anon's asks...I can't help but think "BASED. BASED. BASED. BASED." as I read what they have to say -- this guy has a lot of valid points despite their chosen way of expressing it being seen as an "inconvenience" to others and it's genuinely worth looking into what they have to say with an open mind, especially if you're a fan of my work as this is essentially the ideology that my own art stands for, outside of the statements about JV and JTHM itself being ableist. Of course, I also appreciated their defense of Jimmy as a character in some asks I've seen. You don't have to exactly see eye-to-eye with someone on everything or demand convenience to be understanding of someone's perspective.

Johnny has had a brief crisis himself over the idea of weight gain if the Wall Monster went away, with Nailbunny as a disembodied part of himself describing the possibility of Nny looking ‘revolting as an obese person’. It’s really not uncalled for to think that he would have a really hard time with and possibly traumatized by weight gain from meds, as someone who’s desperate for control of his life, body, and mind…and this is before even mentioning any other potential side effects.

People love to use the “I wish someone would just switch me off and fix me.” line as something to suggest him wanting to get psychiatric ‘help’, but these panels are from the same issue along with the weight gain dilemma…I don’t know if the psychotic control freak really wants to deal with tardive dyskinesia, weight gain, physical fatigue, potential hypersomnia, among generally feeling his mind changing and warping against him from chemicals.

Some people think Rod McKuen is a poet Some people think there’s evil folks and good Some people vote to electrocute the bad ones They stand outside the prison and cheer When the lights go dim (All the same) I know everybody is my brother Even my brother, though I don’t care, much For him

I’ve been seeing a lot of respectability politics sentiment within the JTHM community on here lately, particularly under the sentiment of “I know you’re mentally ill and going through a bad time, but lashing out isn’t okay. :/“ — I find it especially degrading to see it come from people acting sympathetic while nullifying their words with this rhetoric talking down to the very people they claim to empathize with…

I just feel like if you live an otherwise comfortable life, you’re privileged, and you have nothing meaningfully catastrophic to worry about…you’re never going to be as inconvenienced by someone lashing out at you from having a breakdown as much as that person is going to be harmed by any potential collateral damage that may befall them from it, or whatever they were going through in the first place that made them snap at you. EVEN IF you’re just as much in a bad place as them, the right thing to do is to show some solidarity and support to someone who should be your brother in arms and do your part to make the world a better place.

I just feel like if you act so bothered by someone else’s bad time to the point of such personal offense, you have some not-so-unconscious bias within yourself you gotta work through to be better to other people.

Come on, everyone.

Everyone else in 2025: omg I looove Jimmy but ONLY fanon Jimmy I HATE canon Jimmy he’s so ugly and gross.

Me:

I’m also really disappointed in how people aren’t listening to you as much as they should, but it doesn’t take away from the importance of what you have to say…I get really disappointed when no seems to listen to me about taking a stand against ableism when it matters, it’s hurt me a lot, but even when it seems like it’s not working there’s always going to be someone out there who will see what you have to say and listen; it mattered to me, and it’s part of why I’ve decided to continue to create and post my art both for myself and for people like you…even if it hasn’t had a tangible effect on the community in the moment, I like to try to consider the domino effect of things and hope that it’ll be part of the grander mechanism of things to result in the intended outcome; this is why I posted about your asks here, so that they’ll continue to be seen and remembered.

I’m sorry you’re hurting as much as you are. I wish people saw that and were kinder to you…I was also similarly hurt by what JV has said in recent years about JTHM and Johnny, I have my own views on that and I think it’s complicated for him, but I understand how it’s hurtful; I believe I -am- Johnny, and the person I feel connected to as my creator insulting and disowning his connection to this character burned for me for a time…despite that and everything that’s gotten in the way of this, I’ve always wanted to live my life as Johnny to prove JV wrong about him and what I suspect is his internalized ableism — I’m mean, I hurt people when I’m unstable, I’m selfish, hypocritical, and a pervert, but I still have hopes and dreams and I hope that living for myself and sharing my life through my blogs and art will mean something to anyone else who has been made to feel lesser for not being perfect.

I don’t know if anything I said here is helpful or means anything to you, I’m sorry if it isn’t.

I completely forgot I turned off anon asks until someone mentioned it to me recently — this wasn’t for any bitch coward reasons, I was just going through some tense situations in my personal life earlier this year.