#voxslays

“Niff how fucking many bags of candy corn do you need? Poor Baxter can barely push the cart!” Husk huffed while absentmindedly rubbing the spot on his arm where Alastor’s mic had struck him for attempting to get out of driving Niffty on her seasonal sugar shopping spree.

Charlie should have picked anyone else to pick up the snacks and decorations for the holiday party. Niffty was going to really remind everyone that they are in hell at this rate.

“All of them!” Niffty said pulling another bag of the multicolored junk out of an unsuspecting hellhound’s basket and tossing it into her cart.

Baxter’s sinister little laugh forced its way into Husk’s ears leading to the former overlord wishing he could punt the tiny man. Husk was way too sober to be in Hellmart at six in the morning.

Baxter’s voice almost made Husk’s brain implode as he encouraged this bullshit, “Niffty, I think I saw some imps back in the freezer aisle, they must have had at least a dozen bags of candied corn, perhaps we could claim their share as well?”

Niffty looked like she had skipped Halloween and Thanksgiving and went straight to Christmas as she bolted out of Husk’s view dragging the cart behind her.

“Baxter! You fucking lost her now!” Husk hissed as he attempted to follow her.

“Nonsense Husk. She is in aisle 2 looking for imps that don’t exist.” Baxter said calmly, looking at his phone while walking opposite of Niffty.

Husk switched directions and followed the other short monster, “What? Why would you lie about that?”

“I needed to ask your advice on something,” Baxter said stopping in front of some big box of overpriced seasonal kid’s toy animals, “Do you think Niffty would prefer the stuffed spider or the stuffed scorpion?”

“Excuse me?” Husk asked, suddenly wishing he was more sober because he had to have caught a secondhand high when he hugged Angel goodbye as they left.

“The woman displays the most familial behavior to you and that radio demon. Since I do not plan to have my voice added to his broadcast, I require your assistance.” Baxter explained.

“Why the hell do you need my opinion? You just sent Niffty off to aisle 2 tracking down imaginary imps! You could’ve asked her yourself!”

Baxter rolled his eyes, “That would ruin the point of the surprise you dunce.”

“And you are trying to surprise her with children’s toys?” Husk asked, the annoyance flowing from his voice in contrast to its usual drip.

The fishy little man was definitely showing his form as he looked down checking the seams on the spider. "I wanted to ask her to accompany me during Charlie’s party. She doesn't seem like the kind to like flowers. I have observed her with bugs and other creepy crawlies however and she seems fixated on them."

Husk stopped and judged the pathetic scientist. Poor dude was going to get himself stabbed.

"The scorpion."

"You are sure Husk?” Baxter suddenly seemed hesitant to accept the help he was pleading for, “I wish they just had a roach. I know she likes those." Baxter said sorting through the bin.

"Women like her, like venom. And ya know scorpions got that stinger thing. Little shits like to stab people. Just like Niffty." Husk paused after his warning, "Trust me."

He was back to feeling too sober. Advising an adult about what teddy bug to buy for another adult added to the headache sobriety was bringing on.

Baxter quickly shoved the scorpion into his pocket as Niffty came back, the cart now full of candy corn décor as well as her 40 pounds of actual candy corn. Husk was going to have to take charge and grab the actual stuff from Charlie’s list.

Husk’s arms were on the verge of falling off by the time all the candy, drinks, food, and décor were inside the hotel. He grabbed a bottle of cheap booze that he was horrified to learn was pumpkin spice flavored after he already committed to a chair in the living room.

"Hey, Whiskers!" Angel Dusk said strolling in and perching himself on the arm of the chair Husk was already melting into. “How was your trip to the store?”

Husk chuckled a little. Sore and annoyed but still laughing at the fishy idiot. “Baxter has a crush on Niffty. He has no idea what he’s getting himself into.”

“I know that already,” Angel said, fidgeting with the bag Husk had failed to see in his hands before now. “He told me a couple of weeks ago.” He gave a nervous laugh.

“What is it Legs?”

“I’ve been trying to help out as his wingman and he keeps trying to ask her out and,” the sinner was shaking his head, “she just doesn’t hear him.”

“Yeah she tends to ignore people a lot-”

“No whiskers I mean, he keeps trying the dumbest things to get her attention, and she just doesn’t get it. He tried inviting her on a walk the other day and she responded that she was already walking and just went ‘see?’ and walked out of the room.”

“Today he bought her a stuffed animal to use as a bribe for her to be his date to the hotel’s Halloween party.” Husk took his turn to shake his head at Baxter. “Like I don’t even know how a normal person would react to that, let alone Niffty.”

“Yeah... that might not go well.” The bag Angel had been fidgeting with ripped and the contents fell on Husk’s lap. Angel attempted to recover the item but Husk was faster.

He looked at the stuffed orange cat wearing a little white ghost costume. Its little ears and nose poked out from underneath. And the belly of it had a little pun that read,

‘You look BOO-tiful today!’ in black factory print with ‘Husk’ written underneath in red marker.

“Hey Husk listen it was stupid, I just saw it when I was out with Cherri and thought ‘Hey! Husk is a cat, well kind-’” The rumble of purrs drowned out the end of his rambles.

Husk was certain of two things.

1. Baxter was going to get the Jack-o-lantern treatment from Niffty.

Baxter had the Bunsen burner going for an hour at this point. The tripod had been holding up the oversized beaker so long he almost forgot they were separate pieces of equipment. The condensed milk was taking forever to cook. He had thought it would only take a couple of minutes then they could start their plan but the last forty minutes had proved otherwise.

Niffty was scuttering about his office getting every roach and spider she could find. There weren’t many. He kept his space clean. Niffty said it made him a bad boy. She said it in a different tone than she usually did. Less obsessive, more collected. She clung to him a little less and watched him from a distance a bit more. He still noticed. Especially when she would clean his lab while he worked.

Niffty would always ask him what he was doing. The day he was attempting to make a new type of acid designed to dissolve iron and harm no other metals. He made an error and instead just made a cleaning additive for removing blood stains. Niffty was amazed. Baxter ‘messed up’ a few more batches before putting the project on hold.

Until she ran out again. He helped her by making a couple of batches every time she ran out.

Then Niffty started reading his chalkboard and getting the materials he needed for experiments while out collecting groceries. He never even asked. She just saw his To Order list and did it.

This little symbiotic relationship worked well. It was just that. They restocked each other’s cupboards and shelves.

Last week something happened. Baxter had just received his new beakers large enough to boil a large enough batch of Niffty’s Blood Stain Removal Serum for him to only need to make one a week when he asked him if he had ever had a caramel apple. He had not. His parents were dentists and he was deprived of a lot of sweets earth side. He didn’t even seek them out down here. He saw them as pointless. He told Niffty just that and assumed it would be the end.

Niffty picked up a beaker and pulled out an apple from her pocket. With a small thud, she dropped it in. There was just enough space to shake it around an inch or two.

“You could make caramel apples in these beakers or even turn thirty bugs to paint!” Niffty said in that tone that once made Baxter’s skin crawl but now paints a smile on his face.

Baxter was so lost in thought he hadn’t noticed Niffty sitting back on her stool at first. They were both watching the now-finished caramel.

“Niffty, did you prepare the specimens?” Baxter joked looking at the apples that Niffty had insisted she get the responsibility of stabbing with their wooden stakes to the heart.

“Time to drown them!” Niffty declared dunking the first victim. The burning hot goop dripped on the lab table on the way back to the tray. Baxter watched as the neat freak made one of the biggest messes his lab had seen in a long time. He laughed as she pulled out her last, barely dressed apple.

“For Vaggie!” Niffty declared.

“Why is that one for Vaggie?” Baxter inquired.

“She is messy.”

Baxter looked at the table and laughed. Sticking his finger into the cooling caramel on the desk and leaving a clear fingerprint.

Baxter laughed and countered, “And you are not?”

“I am not messy,” Niffty said scooping some of the caramel into her hands forming the pliable mess into a ball, and throwing it towards Baxter who ducked right as the door behind him opened.