Pumpkin’s Vice
Reason and Faith band together to put on this month’s special seminar: the history of tasseomancy! You will be learning the “magic” behind divination and how the old masters used the remains of tea leaves and coffee grounds to predict future events. Just in time for the moon of love, you will all be divining your romantic futures from a delicious cup of white rose tea. [Grants Reason or Faith +1]
“Of course my predictions are accurate! Watch, mortal: I shall perform a divination before your very eyes! Then will you see that my powers are a thousand thousand percent legit!”
Odin doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing.
He was there during the seminar--showed up, signed his name on the attendance and all--but mentally? he was the furthest thing from present. One word about the mystical ability to read the future from tea lines and he was off, thinking up his next lucrative scheme. You see, Odin was more concerned with what he’d do with the power than the power himself. Or how to even practice tasseomancy, or any of its specifics. Instead of writing notes detailing which beans to brew he was doodling up his next big scene--coming up with all the different lines he’d shout when foretelling a battle.
What he does is a disgrace to the art, because again, he doesn’t actually know the steps. He has with him everything he needs: water, freshly boiled; the sample teas given to everyone to try a reading with; a cup to brew it in; and an audience. But instead of making tea the normal way (you know, with a teapot and all) he simply throws the entire sample into his cup, pours out his hot water, and watches as it rises to the surface. Then his ‘reading’ begins, which is all just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo he’s making up on the fly.
“Hmm... Right there! Did you see the way that part broke off from the rest? That signals the ferocity of a lone wolf, the electrifying greatness of he who strays from the pack! Though I may be destined for a life of solitude, that solitude is my sharpest sword! It cuts through foe--WAIT!”
“Don’t blink, or you’ll have missed it! The wolf floated back to the pack! ...This can only mean a great battle lies before me. It shall be grim--a tale of heartfelt betrayal--but the wolf’s fang is like a flaming glacier! Impenetrable! Invincible! Indestructible! BANG! KAPOW! My fangs sink into the unjust, avenging the fallen even at the cost of my most precious bonds!”
And thus Dark concludes, folding his arms across his chest and tilting his chin toward the student. An impressive feat, if you ask him... But a display of idiocy, if you ask anyone else. He seems pleased by the result, now wearing pride on his face and in the way he shuts his eyes--but it is undoubtedly misplaced. “Pretty cool, right? That’s the stygian future in store for Oberon Dark, Hero of an Epoch. I can read yours if you want, but I can’t promise it’ll be as... Legendary.”
His tone is something between a gloat and a laugh, using the way he speaks to amp up the words he says. They are empty and hollow, based entirely on the delusions of one desperate to stand out, yet their theatric ring almost makes them real. It’s sort of a conundrum, the way this fortune-telling works. On one hand, it is completely fake. Yet on the other, the inherently fake nature of it is what drives Odin to prove it true. Wanting not to be made a fraud, he would go to the ends of the earth to fulfill his own prophecy.
...But then again, it’s hard to tell what will happen in reality, and what will just be eccentric make-believe.
//starter for @vonochs















