#volltron shitposts

once pidge accidentally consumes space alcohol (they were at a celebration or something and someone handed her a drink and by the time shiro realized what was going on and shouted “PIDGE--nO--” from across the room it was too late) and is drunk and tired enough that she agrees to help lance act out some of her favourite vines

near the end, pidge is holding keith’s marmora blade to act out the “bitch i hope the fuck you do” vine when shiro walks in and hurriedly tries to hide it behind her back

shiro: “katie, what do you have” pidge, making a mad dash for the door: “a kNIFE” “NO”

shiro is in full frantic mother mode. lance, hunk and keith are all on the floor laughing

this becomes one of keith’s favorite vines

one night when lance is having a Crisis in the castle observatory keith walks in and lance high-key panics and blurts “hi welcome to chili’s!!” before hightailing it out of there in shame. keith doesn’t know what he did wrong

bonus: pidge somehow overhears or finds security tapes of the incident and will never let lance live it down

pidge has woken everyone up with a rickroll at least once. thankfully, keith was with the blade at the time, or someone may have been stabbed 

after pidge and matt have reunited and fought the bounty hunter, matt crouches down into a squat, brandishes his staff and screams “don’t fuck with me! i have the power of god AND anime on my side! AHHH!” pidge cries and laughs at the same time

matt and lance don’t really get along at first because lance feels like he’s being forgotten by the Science Pals and is insecure

then, before voltron goes on a mission, lance is trying to get everyone’s spirits up and ends his pep talk with “what team are we?”

matt, without missing a beat: “W I L D C A T S”. they immediately become friends and Partners in meme

lance, pidge and matt vs the rest of the castle’s level of Done: an unstoppable force vs an unmoving object

matt: “do you ever think about the fact that the galra are basically just giant alien furries” lance, wide-eyed: “oh my god you’re right” (pidge is on her laptop, slowly whistling the x-files theme)

the next battle, lance’s war call is “yiff yiff, motherfuckers”. shiro has never been more disappointed in him

pidge: “you: the galra. me, an intellectual: purple space furries”

pidge, holding up a random object at the space mall: “look dad, it’s the good kush” shiro, reluctantly: “this is the dollar store how good can it be”

pidge, hunk and lance have definitely sung “you are my dad! you’re my dad! boogie woogie oogie!” to shiro in perfect harmony

shiro pretends he’s annoyed, yet deep in his heart, he is very touched that his space kids consider him a father figure but he can never let them know

alternatively, when kuron shiro is mean to lance: “you’re not my dad! ugly ass doo-doo head”

in the first fight after keith rejoins voltron, lance is fighting two galra soldiers at once when he suddenly screams “I’M A BAD BITCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME”. when keith looks over his bayard changes into the sword and lance cuts both soldiers in half

keith has never been more attracted to someone in his life

sometimes keith accidentally quotes a vine at the blade and the blade members will just stare at him blankly. he misses his team