#voltron shitpost

Keith, groaning and griping: Ugh, fine, why do I always have to do it, I can’t believe you’re making me do this, you’re a grown ass man, do I have to everything ??

*After Lance walks away*

Keith, holding out the bug spray: Shiro, there’s a spider you have to kill 

most of the time their opinions and views are relatively the same (besides some cultural differences), but i bet Krolia uses her Mom Voice on Shiro and it’s HILARIOUS

Lance: "Is tarnation Texas speak for what?"

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Hunk: *putting a rubber glove on*

Hunk: "Bend over."

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Shiro: "If I have to parent again today there will be hell to pay!"

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“I’m doing great!” I haven’t lost it yet today!”

Pidge: “Keyword, yet”

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Keith: "My snake-like reflexes-"

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Shiro: “It has .5% alcohol.”

Pidge: Wait, look at this one

Lance: Ok, ok— “My friend keeps trying to imitate the “I’m feeling romantical” meme when we meet up, and I feel very uncomfortable. What should I do?”

Pidge: Wait wait wait what’s the first reply?

*Lance scrolls to the first reply*

Hang up on your computer call, and come and kiss him on his hot mouth

OP: Noted.

*they burst into laughter*

Lance: What if it’s Keith?

Pidge: What?

Lance: Y’know, because you dared me to say that to him for a month?

Pidge: Good point. But that was half a year ago, and this post was just a week ago. So unless…

Lance: …

Pidge: Oh my fucking quiznak, how long have you been doing this?

Lance: I…haven’t stopped.

Pidge: LANCE?!

Lance: You still haven’t figured out if it’s Keith or not!

Pidge: It says here that…cryptids, other stuff, knife— ok, yeah, it’s definitely Keith.

Lance: Shit. I’m screwed.

Pidge: I thought you’d like that?

Lance: Go to hell.

*the sound of a key turning in a lock can be heard from where they are sitting, promptly scaring the shit out of them*

Pidge: I guess we have to find out. *pushes Lance to the door*

Lance: WAITWAIT NO—

*the door opens, revealing none other than Keith.*

Keith: Huh?

Lance: I’m feeling romantical—

Keith: Shit. *kisses him straight on the lips*

Lance: *pulls away* So it was you!

Keith: What?

Lance: The askReddit??? Red_The—

Keith: Oh. OH! You saw that!?

Lance: YEAH I DID?? WHY DID YOU EVEN LISTEN TO THAT PERSON’S ADVICE??

Keith: MAYBE BECAUSE I WANTED TO KISS YOU??

Pidge: What?

Lance: What??

Keith: What???

*the two stare into each other’s eyes longingly, before they crash together and make increasingly more graphic sounds as Pidge just watches in a state of pure horror*

i promise these comments make a lot more sense when you put them in the context of my book sfksjfskjs (click for better quality)

Part 3/6