TRC Translation Notes Volume 12 (Chapters 83 - 90 + Omake)
The second dose of the new translation notes sent in by @giniroangou, now looking at Volume 12.Ā
Highlights include: fantastic closure on the names of the dragonflies, improved Fai and Kurogane banter, Tomoyo being boss, Kyle being extra, and justice for the Pretty Hair Detectives.
Chapter 83
p.6 - The story about the inventor of the maze (Meiro-san rather than Maze-san in the original text, since āmeiroā is the Japanese word for maze/labyrinth) is a bit more ridiculous in the translation than it needs to be - rather than getting fed up with visitors āpassing throughā his bedroom (which raises some very strange questions) he just wanted to make sure that no one could reach his bedroom (whichā¦ perhaps raises other questions, but still makes a lot more sense.)
p.10 - The name of Ryuuouās dragonfly, Ryuuga, is written as é¾ē, which means ādragon fang.ā
p.18 - Ryuuouās line after Syaoran saves him has been translated as, āYou may have underestimated me, but youāre a good guy.ā The original meaning of this was closer to, āYou may be soft, but youāre a good guy.ā
p.19 - Apparently this was pointed out by notpotable already, but thereās definitely a mistranslation when Tomoyo says, āThe way he pilots his machine is very much like the one I know.ā I would translate her line as a more general statement along the lines of, āThe way that people pilot their machines truly does reflect who they are.ā Of course, this is still in reference to Syaoranās actions, but it becomes a broader observation as well.
p.24 - Faiās āSyaoranā here was originally āSyaoran-kun,ā as usual, but the Japanese wording of his line feels a little more casual overall. The translation has it as, āYou couldnāt avoid that collision and still remain true to yourself,ā which certainly got a lot of mileage in analysis, but the original line echoed something that you actually ended up saying in your post - āIf youād avoided that collision, you wouldnāt be Syaoran-kun, right?ā In the end itās the same idea, just with a slightly different nuance.
p.26 - Grosumās dragonfly name is Legend, not Regent, which makes more sense in relation to his Jade counterpart (though what this references for Piffle Worldās Grosum is anyoneās guess.) Chunyanās dragonfly name, Renhi, is written as č®å§«, meaning ālotus princess.ā
Chapter 84
p.40 - The translation has Fai describe Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona as āchildren in the same family,ā but in the Japanese version he just calls them āsiblings.ā <3
Chapter 85
p.60 - Thereās a weird mistranslation of one of Mokonaās lines here - in the English version she talks about needing a water flow that would show the way, but her point in the original was that if they flew under the waterfall and all that water dumped on top of them they wouldnāt be able to fly anymore.
Chapter 87
The title of this chapter was translated as, āA Banquet of Laughter,ā but it should actually be, āA Banquet of Smiles.ā While Japan does have an identical word for both ālaughterā and āsmileā (ē¬ć/warai), in this case the word used is āegaoā (ē¬é”) which purely refers to smiling.
p.90 - Something went terribly wrong here and Iām laughing - in his explanation about Raigyo, Yamazaki is translated as saying that theyāre only 3 centimeters when theyāre fried, but the word the translator took that from is āfry,ā meaning young fish rather than fried fish. So basically theyāre small when theyāre still young.
p.91-92 - There were a lot of mistranslations between Kurogane and Fai here that completely changed the tone of their conversation. Instead of saying that Kurogane is all better now and he should wave too, Fai points out that Kurogane chose not to bind up his hand despite the severity of his injury, and is complicit in helping him hide it (at the top of the page he says heāll wave enough for both of them.) This leads more naturally into his observation that Kurogane doesnāt want to be too obvious about it for fear of making Sakura feel guilty, to which Kurogane protests that he just didnāt want to go to the trouble. When Fai pushes him on page 92, heās responding playfully with something along the lines of, āSure, weāll leave it at that,ā or more loosely, āWhatever you say.ā
p.98 - Syaoran doesnāt actually call Sakura, āYour Highnessā here, heās just using basic polite speech. (Iām really tired of translator-san doing this by the way - it always creates a larger sense of distance than is actually there. Syaoranās polite speech does imply a certain amount of distance, of course, but this goes a little far for me.)
When Mokona says her contribution to the race was ānothing to shout about,ā sheās literally saying, āThough I canāt talk about it too loudly,ā with an implication of, āThis is just between you and me.ā Her choice of words indicates that sheās referring to her rule-bending assist with the first checkpoint.
Chapter 88
p.106 - As a clarifying point, thereās a ākiiiiā sound effect in the background during Kyleās entrance, which would indicate some kind of high-pitched noise (also evidenced by Mokonaās reaction.) This would indeed imply that Kyle is shattering windows with a sound-based attack, presumably with the ultimate goal of breaking the glass around the feather so it becomes more accessible to him. Itās all still very extra though, hahaha.
p.107 - Iām only just thinking to mention this now, but Tomoyoās title translated as āMadame Presidentā is actually just āshachouā (ē¤¾é·), a gender-neutral title most often used for company heads, so just āPresidentā would have sufficed there. Or, you know, āBoss.ā BECAUSE SHEāS A BOSS. ...Iāll see myself out.
p.116 - Kyleās warning(?) here is very awkwardly translated. The proper meaning of his original line is, āThere are people with the same face in different worlds, but you never know if theyāre actually different people.ā
p.120 - This isnāt quite clear in the translation, but here Tomoyo orders her team to land the blimp (meaning what theyāre all currently on) in a safe place and see everyone back home.
Chapter 89
p.132 - To soften Nokoru and Shougoās intrusion a little, their original line was not so much that Tomoyo would need them to help her explain, but that they ought to join the discussion. Thereās more of a sense that itās their responsibility to help explain and apologize given the large role they played.
p.134 - The explanation for Tomoyoās false sabotage is a little shaky here, so to clarify - it was intended as a diversion for the real saboteur to make him believe someone else was after the feather, and as a way to keep the Tsubasa family vigilant during the course of the race.
p.138 - Syaoranās āDoctor Kyle!ā here was originally just, āDoctor Kyle.ā I swear I do not correct every punctuation difference that pops up and I know it gets a little ridiculous, but it really does make a huge difference in tone. Just look at his face! And now compare the effect that line has with the exclamation point vs without. There are a lot of scenes that feel much more weighty and intense in the original manga simply because of the punctuation.
p.140 - Tomoyoās, āI didnāt bother to help you,ā could be cut entirely - it wasnāt there in her original line and I think it sounds a bit rude tbh.
p.142 - Faiās line to Syaoran about banning fun is actually a proposition that he temporarily lift the liquor ban. In Mokonaās follow up, she says that they should drink to celebrate Sakuraās first victory, not her own.
p.147 - In the original text, thereās less of an implication that Tomoyo-hime has walked through Kuroganeās dreams specifically - heās just saying that given who she is itās not surprising that she has this ability.
p.148 - Whatās been translated as Kurogane saying, āDid she look okay?ā should actually be Tomoyo saying, āShe looked well.ā
p.149 - Tomoyoās line on this page is beautiful in the translated version, but I think it has slightly different implications than the original. Instead of āPlease donāt resist too much. Allow yourself to heal,ā she says, āPlease donāt be too reckless so you can heal soon.ā The concept of allowing himself to heal is certainly implied there, but thereās no sense of deliberate resistance, just that Kurogane doesnāt always take care of himself the way he should. Ultimately, while itās still a significant moment between the two of them, Tomoyoās original lines feel less weighted.
Chapter 90
p.155 - Sakura isnāt asking if Tomoyo gets drunk easily here but the opposite, whether she can hold her liquor well.
p.163 - āThey call it a sewing machine,ā seems to have been translated as if it were one of Sakuraās lines, but this is actually Tomoyo chipping in to say, āItās called a sewing machine.ā
Omake
p.175 - āShadow Heroā would be better represented as āShadow Protagonist.ā Mokona is literally being presented to us here as the lead character and itās glorious.
p.178 - Kurogane says the pictures in the Jade version of Maganyan looked pretty/sparkly, but he never says that theyāre too pretty so he might not actually disapprove! (Judging by his face though, I wouldnāt bet on it.)
P.178-179 - Regarding the Country of Fog/Country of the Lake discrepancy: This world was first introduced to us in a chapter titled The Country of Fog (Kiri no Kuni/é§ć®å½) and here itās Fai who calls it the lake country aka (Mizuumi no Kuni/ę¹ć®å½), but the first case could easily just be a description of the place rather than its formal name, and the second case could just be Faiās impression of it, even with the matching title card of sorts on the following page. The way these names are depicted in the English translation makes them look somewhat official, but it feels casual enough in the Japanese text that I wouldnāt be surprised if that world actually has a completely different official name that we simply havenāt had occasion to learn.
