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since when is alcohol so expensive? like, seven shots of vodka and only one night of fun versus one edible and fun for a full twenty four hours. and basically the same price. fucking bullshit.
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Another excerpt from the longest-running histfic draft. This is for Tairin. I hope I did her prince justice, small though it may be.
Jeanâs staff found a two-story house large enough for them all in a northern Viennese suburb. General Compans ordered the portly, red-faced owner and his large family to leave, slipping him a fistful of gold coins before he could protest. Mariana couldnât tell how many coins constituted a fistful, but they produced an incredulous expression on the manâs face and then a deep bow that revealed his blindingly bald, pink pate. There must be a secret source of gold coins that only Compans and Thomières knew about, perhaps hidden away in a sturdy oak box labeled Bribes. She had seen these coins appear whenever Jean wanted to sleep somewhere other than a barn or outside on the ground for several days. She also knew only a very few marshals and generals bothered to compensate the people whose lives they disrupted or even thought to do so.
âDonât wreck the place,â Compans ordered them after the Viennese family had bustled out the door, their personal belongings tied up in large, unwieldy bundles.
âWhy would we?â she asked Joseph as two adjutants added more wood to a fire in the large stone hearth. She wondered how much food she might find in the kitchen cupboards and the spacious pantry leading from the kitchen. Indeed, the life expectancy of the well-fed hens sheâd seen in the dooryard was measured in minutes.
âIt was a pro forma reminder,â Joseph replied. âWeâve never been a horde of Vandals or Huns, and the marshal knows it.â He grinned at her and stretched so much that he almost slid out of his chair. âI canât say the same about Prince Muratâs cavalry or anyone in Marshal Augereauâs VII Corps. Now thereâs a collection of seasoned plunderersâas bad as one of the plagues of Egypt, but not, I think, as dedicated to looting as Marshal MassĂŠna.â
Later that evening, with a cold November wind safely outside and warmth and food inside, she sipped her second cup of rich coffee laced with cream from the black and white cow standing up to her knees in hay in the barn. âAfter ages in Purgatory, Iâve been given my reward.â
âSavor your taste of Paradise, Gabriel, while you can. Weâre leaving in a couple of days,â Jacques said, unhooking his cloak and shaking sleet from it.
âWhy? The Austrians surrendered at Ulm almost four weeks ago, and weâre north of Vienna with no Austrians anywhere that I can see. There isnât anyone to fight.â
Jacques poured coffee from a porcelain pot and backed up to the fire. âDonât you read the dispatches, Gabriel?â
âNot oftenâtheyâre boring.â
âWell, you should. We hadnât seen the Austrian army because it left Vienna right before we arrived. Now theyâve gone further north, with General Kutuzovâs Russians.â
âWhoâs Kutuzov?â she asked, trying not to yawn in his face. She really should pay more attention to the dispatches and reports. If Jean ever asked her about the campaign's minutia, she had better know enough to answer. Sheâd seen what happened when an officer couldnât tell Jean what he wanted to know and didnât want to subject herself to the humiliation of a profanity-laced public rebuke.
âSome clever Russian general, older than God. Heâs heading for Moravia, though, not Mother Russia.â
Mariana remembered Jacquesâs words three days later. Ejected from the warm stone house before dawn, she bundled up in her heavy cloak and gloves and rode out of Vienna with the rest of V Corps. Now, close to midnight, she didnât think Moravia was anywhere close or warmer than Russia. It was full dark when they rode into a tiny hamlet so small they would have missed it if the scouts and leading edges of Oudinotâs grenadiers hadnât literally stumbled over it. Snow topped with a thin layer of rime covered the cottage roofs, garden walls, the rough pathway serving as a street, and stubble in the surrounding fields. The inhabitants had shuttered every window, but thin cracks of pale yellow light escaped from some of them.
âTheyâre more afraid of the Russians than they are of us,â Jean said in response to her question. Each word came out on a small puff of white, as her own had done. Soon it might be too cold to talk. âIf you looked in those barns, youâd find nothing but old straw. Thereâs nothing of value in the cottages, either. If the villagers had enough warning, they would have hidden everything, and if not, the Russians have it all now.â
Mariana had never seen a hamlet this small before or so eerily deserted. The barrenness she saw in the faint snow light and that Jean had described made her shiver. This time the cold struck deep in her bones.
âWeâll be sleeping outside, gentlemen, on the other side of HollabrĂźnn and eating whatever we have with us. It will be a short night anywayâthe enemyâs less than six miles ahead.â Jean spurred his horse forward over the little village track, and the rest followed, riding close enough to brush each otherâs stirrups. Mariana wrapped the reins around one wrist and massaged her hands and fingers inside her gloves, afraid to take them off. The idea of trying to sleep on the frozen, iron-hard ground was dreadful. If the Russians were so close, and if Jean meant to attack them in the morning, she might as well sit up all night. If she didnât freeze before dawn, then a brisk encounter with the enemy, even hand to hand, would warm her up nicely. âAunt Lucrezia, you would be appalled,â she whispered through stiff lips cracked and bleeding from the cold.
Despite her plan to sit up all night, Mariana had just fallen asleep, curled into a tight ball, knees drawn up nearly beneath her chin, when Joseph shook her into befuddled wakefulness. âGet up, Gabriel,â he said, peeling her cloak away. Weâre leaving now.â
She staggered to her feet, grabbed her cloak back from Joseph, and buttoned it up tight. âNo breakfast?â
âNo time for any. Thereâs a small Russian rear-guard ahead. We have to eliminate it before it reaches Kutuzov.â
Mariana didnât mind not eating as much as she minded not having something hot to drink. However, the worst prospect was having to do the necessary at the edge of the forest to her left. She still thought it was manifestly unfair that lately, she nearly froze whenever she pissed, while her comrades did not. An inequality, however, that she was powerless to alter one whit.
Having concluded her business in the forest, she hurried to untie Odysseus from the picket line, tighten his girth, and climb into the saddle. She trotted off to join the aides, who waited in a nearly silent group, close together, their horses impatiently stamping the hard ground. Without a word, they swung around and fell in behind Jean and General Compans. She wanted to know how far away the Russian rear-guard was and how many Russians comprised a rear-guard, but she couldnât make her lips move.
General Thomières saved her the trouble. âExcellency, how many troops does Bagration have ahead of us?â
While she wondered who Bagration was, Jean slowed his horse to respond to his senior aide. âFewer than I have, even though Iâm short two divisions and even shorter of supplies. Neither the weather nor the ground is good for much but a short skirmish.â
The air was so silent and frigid that Mariana heard the intonation beneath his words that often meant more than the words themselves. He sounded confident rather than cocky or foolhardy. A short skirmish, heâd said, and that was fine with her.
The encounter between Bagrationâs rear-guard and V Corpsâ grenadiers, reinforced at the last possible moment by a squadron of Muratâs heavy cavalry, was not a skirmish. Mariana thought it was more like a brawl in some wayside tavern, loud, fast, and disorganized. It ended before sheâd had a chance to do anything and because Bagration told Prince Murat that he had just learned about a truce. The prince believed him, dismounted, told Jean to order his troops to cease fire, and went inside a slightly shell-shocked villa that had been some Moravian aristocratâs summer home.
âA truce? What the fuck is he talking about? I had the damn Russians on their arses, and he rides in and orders me to stop!â Jean was livid, his expression as hard as granite. Mariana worried what he might do when he jumped from his horse, leaving the reins to trail in the snow, and stomped after Murat. Acting on instinct, aides, chief of staff, and a few senior adjutants closed around him like a protective wall and entered the villa together.
Intended for soft summer breezes, the villa struggled to combat the mid-November cold. Fires burned in hearths at either end of the reception chamberâs black and white tiled floor. Clear glass bottles filled with colorless liquid stood among scores of crystal glasses on heavily carved tables in the center of the room. Someone had shoved chairs and settees against the walls. Officers in uniforms Mariana had never seen before crowded around the tables, opening bottles, pouring liquid into glasses, and handing them around. She watched Prince Murat take a sip, then drain it and hold it out for someone to fill. She watched Jean barrel forward, his expression still thunderous, until a tall officer with the face of a young eagle and enough medals on his chest to blind half a dozen men stepped forward and intercepted him. Together they moved away from Murat and his entourage and stood by one of the double windows, heads bent close together, talking. Another officer approached them, two glasses on a silver tray, and quickly left when they took the glasses and continued their conversation. When Major GuĂŠhĂŠneuc tried to insinuate himself into the conversation, Jean turned on him like an enraged wasp. The major scuttled away, staring at the floor, his face scarlet. Mariana rocked back on her boot heels, a smirk spreading across her face.
As voices rose around her, followed by the rank odor of damp wool and unwashed males, Mariana felt the beginnings of a headache. To take her mind off it, she asked Thomières, âWhat are they talking about? And who is that Russian?â
He laughed, a soft sound but not derisive. She was glad since she rarely spoke to him at length. âI havenât the slightest idea what theyâre talking about, but thatâs Prince Pyotr Ivanovich Bagration the marshalâs talking to.â He laughed again, this time even softer as if he worried someone might overhear. âTalking now, fighting later. Fine looking general, though, donât you think?â
âIndeed he is,â Mariana said. With his chiseled features and thick, dark hair, the tall, slender Russian looked a little like Jean. Big rooster and bantam rooster, she thought, and almost hooted with laughter. When she could trust herself to speak, she asked, âWhatâs in the bottles?â
âVodka. Have you never tasted it?â
âIâve never even heard of it.â
âThen allow me, lieutenant,â Thomières said and escorted her to the nearest table. Rummaging among the glasses, he found two relatively clean ones and filled them from one of the bottles. âSalut,â he said, threw back his head, and drank it down.
She sniffed at the clear liquid. It had no odor. Since Thomières was still standing, how dangerous could it be? She drank hers in a single gulp, and the alcohol burned all the way to her stomach, where it exploded. Tears flooded her eyes, she sneezed and then coughed. One cough led to several until Thomières pounded her on the back and filled her glass.
âQuickâdrink this.â
She did and stopped coughing. This time the vodka felt smooth as silk, and she grinned at the senior aide. âYou should have warned me.â
âAnd miss your reaction?â He filled her glass for the third time, but before she could drink it, four Russian officers joined them at the table, clutching their glasses filled to the brim and sloshing onto their dingy white gloves. Their faces were clean-shaven except for amazingly full side-whiskers, their cheeks brick red in the candlelight. Raising their glasses, they shouted in unison, âZa vashe zdorovye!â When they had downed every last drop, they tossed their glasses toward the fireplace. The sound of shattering crystal brought to a halt every conversation in the spacious room, and then other Russians began throwing their empty glasses to the floor.
âWhy not?â Thomières said and threw his glass toward the hearth.
âIndeed!â Mariana replied and threw hers, too.
Whatever Jean and Bagration may have been discussing, or whatever Prince Murat may have believed about the alleged truce, or whatever the French and Russian officers thought about the prospect of imminent hostilities between them, everything disappeared beneath the sharp-edged sound of crystal shattering and the roars of toasts in French and Russian. Mariana linked arms with Thomières to keep from reeling and tried to get her tongue around the consonant-laden Russian words. Somehow, they sounded more satisfactory than light, polite French phrases and better suited to the vodka, of which she had become quite fond in no time at all.
Jean summoned aides and staff officers with a sharp whistle that penetrated the merriment and stalked out of the villa and into the icy, starlit night. The sudden cold jolted Mariana from her torpor, and the sharp air stung her eyes and nose. Her comrades showed similar symptoms of waking from a muddled sleep, and she wondered what might have happened had they stayed and emptied all those bottles.