#vocalteam

His response was always a nod, eyes so focused on something you weren’t quite sure of. You’d try to snap him out of it only for him to snap back into it a few minutes later. The startled look he’d get when you did so looked adorable, he’d stammer and sheepishly apologize everytime. You couldn’t get enough of it, it was refreshing to meet someone who was so unlike the other boys, and it’s been a few months ever since then.

You joined the other members in their practice room and spent a few hours watching them joke around. They were fun to be with, but honestly, it didn’t seem like Jeonghan felt the same way. He was leaning against a wall in a corner of the room for majority of it all. You were starting to worry about him as you watched him exchange a few words with Mingyu, you both decided that he didn’t want to interact with any of them at all.

“Jeonghan,” you approached him, he looked up to you from where he was sitting and raised an eyebrow. You slid down the wall and sat beside him, legs spread out on the floor, “are you okay?” He shrugged and looked away, his chest heaved, taking in a deep breath. The boy seemed completely different from earlier. The bright smile on his face was now a big frown, unamused and intimidating. He always smiled when it was the two of you, so how was this different? You stared at him more. He seemed so lost in thought it made you wonder what was on his mind.

The silence was awkward and time ran ever so slowly as you watched the boys continue to mingle and enjoy themselves. Endless chatter filled the room and it went on until it was dinnertime. They all vacated the room and ate. Jeonghan would only leave if you did. He would probably follow you everywhere if he could.

Things were slow after that. You decided to retire for the night and bid the boys goodnight. As you started heading to your room, you felt a tug on your jacket. “Wait, (y/n),” Jeonghan looked at you with pressed lip and furrowed brows, “are you coming tomorrow?” You stifled a laugh. He looked like a small kid which made you all giddy inside.

“I’m sorry,” you laughed apologetically, “I’ll be busy tomorrow.” Some boys added on their own comments and started leaving. You waved at them, exchanging one last “goodnight” before leaving. He seemed sad when you parted ways. The boy probably wasn’t used to not seeing you everyday anymore, you were the only one he talked to a lot. You tried encouraging him to interact with everyone else but he refused. “I’m too shy,” he’d say, and he’d leave it at that. Jeonghan seemed contented with just you, but you were worried. Once you debuted you wouldn’t have as much free time as you did now, even though your free time has never really exceeded 3 hours. You’d have less than that soon.

You’d miss him.

It was five in the morning when you headed to practice with a spring in your step, eager to practice as much as you could before your fast approaching debut. “Let’s get started!” you exclaimed to yourself, warming up alone while you waited for your choreographer to arrive at eight. You had three hours to yourself, dancing and singing non-stop. “(Y/n)?” There was a knock on the door, “you’re up so early.” A head popped in between the slightly opened door with bags under his eyes. You greeted him and let him in, “I could say the same thing to you,” you laughed and took a drink from your bottle, “what’s up?”

Joshua furrowed his brows, “well I’m just worried,” he mumbled, “is it bad to worry about Jeonghan not getting along with the other members?” You panicked, asking him if Jeonghan had a fight recently. The boy apologized, dismissing your assumption, “he’s just not willing to interact with anyone.” His lips formed a frown, “I’m just really worried.” You stared at the frustrated boy with cheeks burning up, a goofy smile plastered on your face. You were more than happy enough to know that he cared about Jeonghan as much as you did, he needed someone like that in the group.

“Thank you,” your voice brimming with emotion as you smiled at him with teary eyes. He noticed the sparkle in your eyes as if you were about to burst into tears right there and then. Joshua nods, unable to come up with anything to say as he strokes your hair in silence. You thanked him again and he brushed it off, saying it was no problem before Seungcheol dragged him away. “You need your practice,” he firmly tells you, dragging Joshua back to the dorm.

He was right. You needed all the practice you could get before your debut in three weeks. Starting up the music, you returned to your practicing until your choreographer came. You practiced with her until midnight, only stopping for water breaks and lunch. “I don’t need dinner,” you mumble, “I’m too worried that I don’t want to do anything else.” She scolds you but her words fell on deaf ears. You weren’t going to mess anything up, you wanted this to be perfect, and for that to happen, you had to practice.

That was what probably drove you over the edge a week after.

You were eating lunch with the boys when you broke down. The two boys beside you, Jeonghan and Hoshi, started panicking as you started hyperventilating. “(Y/n),” they kept calling out your name, “hold on, please,” but you wouldn’t calm down.

After that you weren’t allowed to practice past 9 o'clock. The members also dropped by often to cheer you on and watch your practices. Jeonghan especially enjoyed it, eyes trained on your body as you fluidly danced. He was starstrucked, watching you was just so enticing. The passion you’ve put into everything touched him, he felt deeply moved as the performance came to an end. There was a roar of cheers and applause that put a big smile on your face. They loved it. The boys showered you in compliments while Jeonghan stayed where he was, frozen stiff in amazement.

“That was beautiful,” you heard him mumble.

You thanked him, giggling when his eyes widened in surprise. “I heard you, Jeonghan,” you smiled before the boys dragged you to the hall to play. Jeonghan was left in the room, thinking about you. “(Y/n) was great, wasn’t she?” the voice startled him as it came from behind. He turns around and Joshua smiles, taking a seat right next to him. Jeonghan nods, refusing to look at his friend in the eye. His cheeks were tingling, he supposed they were burning red right now. Joshua smiles, “you must love her a lot.”

“What do you mean ‘how’? It’s as clear as day; the way you look at her as if she’s the only one in the room.“

You were practicing when he came running to your room. “Are you busy?” he apologizes if he interrupted anything important before he started mumbling incoherently. He was bright red, bowing his head down so you couldn’t see his face at all. “There’s something I need to tell you after your performance,” he stuttered, “I’ll be watching.” Your jaw dropped as the door slammed shut.

Jeonghan briskly walked down the hall, his mind a mess. “I said it,” he repeatedly whispered to himself, convincing himself that it really happened. Relief came over him, like this huge burden that he didn’t notice before was lifted. He let out a refreshed sigh, “I did it.” Smiling to himself, he heads to the practice room with a wide smile.

“What happened?”

“It’s nothing,” he smiles to himself.

After practicing, you headed back for some rest. Jeonghan’s words stuck on your mind like some gum under a desk, what did he want to tell you? You thought about all the possibilities and circled around the idea of him confessing. You started daydreaming about how it would go down. How he’d blush, how he’d stutter and say sugar sweet words that would make your heart flutter. Of course it was but a daydream, you slightly wished it wasn’t but it still was. You finally asked yourself something you didn’t really know what to respond to; how did you feel about him? Sure he was fun to be with, comforting and refreshing to talk to but you didn’t really want to limit yourself to just that. You wanted spending days off together, good morning and good night texts, late night talks, and simply being special to him. Did it mean something to want this much more?

You wondered what “love” felt like.

Days passed by and you haven’t seen any of them. Only the occasional meeting in the hallways when coming to or from the practice rooms, nothing more than a “hello” before returning to your own businesses. You missed him already, worring endlessly about how he’s been. Was he thinking of you too? Your debut date drew closer and closer, but you were more than prepared. Why were still so uneady?

Your heart was racing.

It was beating so fast you couldn’t breathe. “Will they like it?” Thoughts like these were the only things on your mind. You were worried about the lyrics and choreography, even if you’ve beaten them into your mind you didn’t know whether it’d still be there when you stepped onto the stage. Your mind was going blank and you weren’t breathing properly anymore. They called you, it was time. You forced yourself to muster up any shred of courage you could find. The stage felt so big as you walked up. In the center you stood straight, with everyone’s eyes in you and only you.

The music starts. You shivered, palms sweaty as you begin dancing. Your voice was as shaky as your body when you began singing. It felt like time was slower than molasses. Your eyes met several people’s in the crowd, you spotted familiar faces as well but it made no difference. You were still frightened, noticing a few mistakes you made as you danced. “(Y/n)!!” the boys were there with boards full of supportive messages for you held high up. That meant Jeonghan was there. You saw him actually talking to one of the members so animatedly, it wasn’t clear but you knew it was him. His colored locks that reached his shoulders wasn’t really common among the people in the crowd, nor was it common among the members.

“I have something to tell you after your performance.”

His words rang in your mind. Your performance was halfway done as you began dancing confidently. You weren’t worried about whether they liked it or not, it didn’t matter. The only thing on your mind was him; it wasn’t your uncertainty, it wasn’t your insecurities, and it definitely wasn’t your restless thoughts. It was him and him only. Everything weighing you down melted and you looked just like how you did in the practice Jeonghan watched. It was like a star shining brightly on its stage, everyone’s attention was now wholly on you. Watching the performance as it finished, Jeonghan smiled to himself. You looked just like a star, as always, with that smile on your face as you finished. Then he realized that the performance had ended.

“(Y/n)!” the boy was panting, trying to catch his breath after he ran backstage. Your jumped a bit at the sound of your name being called out by his voice, you could swear your heart skipped a beat. “(Y/n),” he laughed, “were you anticipating this?” The look in his eyes was warm as he looked at you, “you were beautiful out there.” His comment made you fustered, making him laugh once more before he continued, “you always do though.” His words suddenly made something in your mind click. He stuttered as he told you that the world became brighter when you came. The sweet words that left his mouth sounded too good to be true, as if he was a prince trying to win your hand in marriage. What he said didn’t matter, all of it was brimming with sincerity you had no reason to doubt him. The determined, unwavering sound of his voice moved you to tears as he continued on, telling you how he felt like being with you and the boys was true happiness, “(y/n) I-”

“Jeonghan,” you blurted out, cutting him off. He looked at you startled, hands dropping to either side of him when he saw you give him the sweetest smile he’d ever seen. You looked away for a moment, mustering up the courage to look at him in the eye to tell him something you realized today.