#vivinet

I don’t mind questions, I welcome people to ask me things.

I’ll start with this:  I moved out of my parents house first because I wasn’t really sure how it would go down and I just wanted to make sure I didn’t have to rely on them at that point.

The best way to do it is whatever way you feel most comfortable.  In person, over the phone, a letter… there’s many ways and I don’t think any of them are wrong.  I personally did it in person.  I visited my parent’s often to do laundry and get assorted things that I may have left behind or get any mail that went there.  I went there many times with the intention of coming out, but I could never work up the courage.  On the day I finally did, I pulled them aside and talked to them, and came out to them.  It was very hard to do.  I’ve never felt more vulnerable in my life.  It was important to me to do it in person, it just felt like the right way to do it to me, but that doesn’t mean its wrong to do it any other way.

If you think you’re going to have trouble communicating all your thoughts easily and get out everything you want to say then I recommend writing down what you want to say before hand.  If you’re going to send them a letter or email or something, obviously you’d be doing that anyway.  For me at least, its very easy to get lost with my thoughts and rush though things and not think clearly about my choice of words when I’m anxious, so having a speech or outline of what you want to say will be a very big help.

If they’re uneducated on trans stuff I highly recommend printing out information or giving them links to websites where they can find info and learn more on their own time.  I recommend printing stuff out over giving links because that way they have it in hand and don’t need to put any effort into getting the info.  I think that way, it’s more like to get read.  I don’t have any worthwhile sites I can link you to at the moment, but I’m sure some of my followers might have some good resources.  Most of the stuff I read back in the day is pretty problematic by today’s standards and I wouldn’t want to offer them, and since I haven’t had the need for additional resources I just never found new ones.

Finally, please be safe.  I don’t know if you’re living with them or rely on them.  If you think you might possibly be in danger please make sure you have a place to go or a way to escape.  Maybe even have a friend or someone you trust with you if you’re out to anyone else.  I know this is a terrible thing to have to think about, but it is a reality.  Several of my friends who are trans women have had violent reactions from their family.