#viriginity

Much as I hate to admit it, I realized today that a lot of my issues can be tied, at least in part, to my late father’s apparent acephobia.

I think I’ve written about this before, but the time that stands out to me as evidence is that time when I was about 12 or 13 and hadn’t really had a crush (that I’d talked to him about), and, long story short, he told “I really don’t care if you like boys or girls or both*, so long as you’re normal.”

:( I’m not Asexual, but even so, I was a little kid, and I must’ve internalized all that. I don’t think it even began to occur to me how truly fucked what my Dad said was until a YouTuber I follow ( @elisaintime ) came out as Ace herself.

To be fair, that is the only *explicit* thing I heard him say that could be considered full-on acephobic, but it wasn’t an uncommon thing for him (and other members of my family, unfortunately) to go whole hog on the “there’s someone for everyone” or “you’ll meet the right girl someday,” or “you deserve to be loved.” Okay, maybe that last one wasn’t *so* bad on its own, it just depends on context.

Anyway, it would all certainly explain why I still feel like a total failure of an adult as I’m just this side of 38 and I’ve never even kissed anyone of my preferred gender. I should be past these kinds of feelings by now. I have done good things. I have backed the right political causes, I’ve helped my friends, I’ve written things that people enjoyed (both original and fan works), a few people seem to actually like my YouTube show for some reason, but here I sit, still feeling like I have failed my father (who died Thanksgiving Day, 2016) because I never had a girlfriend, or even sex with a woman in general.

I know it’s stupid to feel this way, but instead of making me stop, it just adds guilt on top of feeling like a failure.

Dad, I love you, and you did your best considering you didn’t have a good role model to work off of, but damn, I wish I could’ve confronted you about this. Considering all the things you apologized for on your death bed that you didn’t actually need to apologize for, I’m sure I could’ve made you realize that Aces aren’t broken people, that they are just people, like everyone else.

WTF!!?? ... Why help promoting virginity

Pastor Reveals Experience After Ending His Virginity

Pastor Job Antwi, a Ghanaian pastor of the Association of Virgin Pastors in Ghana is regretting the fact that he waited too long to have sex.

Job recently got married and he granted an interview to Joy FM’s Weekend City show and speaking on the matter he said;

‘I never knew sex is this sweet; since I was born I have not experienced this before. It is sweeter than everything, in fact I wish I can…