#virgnity

Hello, My name is Mechel and I am a twenty-year old virgin. And why I know the age isn’t much, It still makes you feel like the odd one out. You see I am the last of my friends to still have my virginity, and why I am blessed to have loving groups of friends who don't’ give me too much shit for having, I am still the source of some of our jokes.All my friends tell me I am lucky, and that they wished they waited. I am not waiting consciously it’s because It crosses my mind when Valentines Day hits or my PMS makes me really horny. It doesn’t  bother me much, and while I am a Christian, I am not the one who is totally pushing it for till marriage. With it being a topic on New shows such as Grown-ish it has been at the forefront of my mind lately. So I thought that I share the story of my first virginity encounter. 

It started over a month ago,

I and the aforementioned group of friends all went down to the local parade our state throws every year around Christmas time. While I was there with them I met an old flame-friend, let’s call him Jake. You see the reason I call him an old flame friend is because back in high school, he was the only person who I liked. I mean really like, he was a just male white version of me. Everyone, down to our favorite teacher we shared, though we would be a thing. But nothing happens, I cried over him and when graduation happens I moved on from him and everything else that high school had to offer. 

Anyways he was there and when I saw much like other old vices, all the warm feeling inside came back ( and none of the bad ).I missed him and the way he made me feel. After the parade was over and he went back to where he lived. We had limited conversation back and forth much like before. long story short he basically said he wanted me. Now while my inside me was excited, the brain of me knew not the way he wanted me. 

I wanted a relationship, I always had. Someone who was not apart of the problems at home, someone to love me, or at least intensely like. Turns out he wanted sex. I asked him if there would be something after ,  something that leads to more. He flat out told me we would have to see. 

What I learned from this interaction, about my virginity is this. I am not a stickler to hold to it. I realized that your first time isn’t going to be sunshine and rainbows. That it is not fairytale, however, it is my choice HOW  I want to lose it, when I want to lose it, and WHO I want to lose it to.My ultimate goal is this, to be able to have an honest talk with my kids when I am older and tell me that maybe I didn’t lose it to their father, but I did love who I lost it to.