#violencee

COVID booster shot hit me like a freight train.

Hello there !!

first of, congrats for your sister!

second:

IS his violence a sudden thing? If it is, I think you should make sure he isn’t on drugs or something. There are few indicators that could help you without being too obvious, like bloodshot eyes, dilated pupils, and changes in his previous behavior! If that’s the case, I dare to advice you to seek some more competant help for his and you and your whole family’s sake. I’ve seen people on drugs being violent, it isn’t pretty, and nothing but professional help and family support can help them. I hope he is not though.

In case he is not, you have to know that (according to my mother’s psychology books) Violence is fueled by Fear. He may be in the inside afraid to not be enough, not to be wanted, to be an embarassement, for you to hate him, to be ignored, to be excluded from the family, to be forgotten (hence the marks on the walls)… You all have to try to understand his motives.

So, before the party, you might want to have a little discussion with him. You make him a nice little tea, you chose a place where he feels the most comfortable to have this discussion with him, you joke like two sibblings that love each other, you have to make him feel loved, comfortable and needed! When he is comfortable, then you can tell him about the party. You tell him that it’s a very special day for your sister, and that you can’t do it alone and that you need his help. He may play the cocky on you, but don’t jump on him, just let him be. You go through the things you have to do before hands, you ask for his opinion, you responsiblize him over something, so that he feels that it is something he have to see to its success. He wouldn’t have the heart to ruin something he put that much effort in. You have to make this week the most enjoyable for him, praise him when he does somthing good. Even if he is 23 year old, his subconcious that makes him react with violence may not be that mature, keep that in mind, he will pick on the smallest things. On the day of the party, you could buy him one of those shower gels that relaxes, they actually work, you just have to read relaxing body shower on the bottle and that’s it! Tea, and make him happy and excited about the whole thing, promise him something he wants, you’d know how.

I hope it will all be good and it will go as smooth as I wish it would.

If he dismisses you when you ask for your help, you just nicely ask him to stay out of it, no violence, no scenes, but do not make him angry! don’t you dare, even if that leaves you boiling on the inside, you don’t seek confrontation, you won’t like it afterwards.

I hope it all goes alright !! If anything happens and need any more advice, you got my URL, you just ask :)

once again, congrats for your sister! and have fun at the party :)